Posts Tagged ‘Prophecy’

Comparisons between Moses and Jesus and Ti and Do’s “classroom” missions

January 24, 2014

Below I have included a comment I received and my response:

Comment:
It is X-ian myth in the sense that most x-ians think it applies to them… You hear lots of preachers and republicans quoting leviticus to justify their hatred of gays. Those same preachers and republicans eat shrimp and shellfish, though..,. which was also a grevious sin.

Mosaic Law is a lot like the tediousness the Class had to deal with when doing anything (making biscuits, measuring salt, etc.) I believe that Mosaic Law had its roots in what was “at the time” commonsense heuristics to avoid disease and death… that sort of thing. The tediousness in the class was meant more to “overcome” thinking… Class members were NOT to think — at least not to think using their plant brains. But important to The Two was that apparently the “next level” valued those who could take instructions for a “task” and complete them to the letter of the instructions — hence the “check partner” concept… Mosaic Law didn’t advocate for check partners because it was more legalistic…

In the “Class”, the instructions were just to demonstrate an ability to “not think” for yourself. Mosaic Law was to show solidarity to their fatih… a grand “side effect” of the law (which jesus came to destroy btw) was to unify the Jewish people for the ages — Jews still carry on these traditions — and as such have been “insoluble” agents in any “melting pots” society has had since. Jews have maintained their traditions and identity because their law isolated them from “us”.

A group of Lubavitchem jews moved to Postville Iowa to start a Kosher slaughtering plant — and the “townies” were shocked at how unabashedly unfriendly these Jews were to them… It was a clash of cultures… the “friendly iowa” culture that wanted to embrace the Lubavitchem and the Lubavitchem that wanted nothing to do with that world.

A book was written about it and it is very interesting: Postville: A Clash of Cultures in Heartland America .

In a way, the Class was like the Hassidem

Exodus 3:14’s “I AM That I AM” as the name given to Moses from the burning bush – plus Ti and Do truthfullness

January 19, 2014

The following is my response to a comment that was claiming this Exodus verse was a “mind f**k” because of how it is recursive “I am that I am”. After this evaluation of that verse I addressed this commentor’s other statement that “Nothing Ti and Do said came true”. Thus here is my response to both:

You stimulated my look and see. In this verse the words in parentheses were added by the translators. This is often necessary because of the nature of languages where one word or figure represents a picture or idea, etc., but sometimes it seems, especially in the new testament greek re-translation that I do a lot of, different translations give different slants.

Exo 3:14 (And) God said (unto) Moses, (I) AM (THAT I) AM: (and he) said, (Thus shalt thou) say (unto the) children of Israel, (I AM hath) sent (me unto you).

It’s interesting that when I looked at this I wondered if this translation didn’t get the order right and I wondered if it should have been something like, “…Moses, I AM, thus say to the children of Israel “I AM” hath sent me to you”. As is evident none of the I’s are in the manuscript and the entire third listing of “I AM isn’t in the manuscript. So taking all the parentheses words out it would read:

God said (to) Moses, Am (that) Am said, children of Israel sent. (Funny how I remember the cartoon Popeye where he went around saying, “I am that I am”. I bet it was a Jewish writer).

Then turn the order a bit to, “God said to Moses, Am”. (in response to his question of who he should say sent him). Then “Am sent you to the Children of Israel”.

The other thing I looked at was whether the word translated as “AM” in both cases had additional options not considered. For instance, knowing a bit about this, I wondered if both, “am” and/or “exist” and/or “do” are equivalent translations. In any case with those two thoughts I looked at the other translations and 4 out of 6 said the same as we see in this king james translation but this one was much different:

Brenton Greek Septuagint (LXX Restored Names):

And God spoke to Mosheh{gr.Moses}, saying, I am THE BEING; and he said, Thus shall ye say to the children of Israel, THE BEING has sent me to you.

Strongs Hebrew dictionary lists for the English transliteration of AM as:

AM = 1961 hayah haw-yaw – a primitive root (compare ‘hava” (1933)); to exist, i.e. be or become, come to pass (always emphatic, and not a mere copula or auxiliary):–beacon, X altogether, be(-come), accomplished, committed, like), break, cause, come (to pass), do, faint, fall, + follow, happen, X have, last, pertain, quit (one-)self, require, X use.

1933 hava’ haw-vaw’ or havah {haw-vaw’}; a primitive root (compare ”avah’ (183), ‘hayah’ (1961)) supposed to mean properly, to breathe; to be (in the sense of existence):–be, X have.

This is most interesting as it brings it to the perspective that this being breaths and breath throughout the records has a direct relationship to “wind, mind aka spirit” and mind when it is from a Next Level Above Human being is relative to human mind, “pure” thus spoken of in religious terms as “holy” – having no mammalian vibrations in it as they have evolved beyond mammalian.

2) Now where you said, “Nothing Do and Ti said ever came true… and they felt bad about it, but you kids loved them and didn’t let things like that bother you”, that of course is not at all true.

You are probably referring to their saying that the students need not die to go to the Next Level, which ended up being true but by Their and the Jesus definition of “life” and “death”.

And you are probably referring to their saying that we students could anticipate their performing a demonstration of death overcome that they thought meant their physical bodies would be killed the way Jesus physical body was killed and the way many of Jesus students physical bodies were killed.

But in actuality they did demonstrate the rising from the dead twice, first from the figurative death at the hands of the media, which is what they realized the “killing” meant at that time, to which they “stood on their feet” as it says in Rev 11, even so much so that they came back into the global limelight as the Heaven’s gate “suicide” cult and as it says in prophecy, horrified those who saw them. Their exit didn’t at all resemble any of the other “suicide cults” – Jim Jones Peoples temple nor Solar Temple who all were wrought with murders and deceit and revenge and pressure and guilt, the handiwork of the discarnate Luciferians that sought to create a facsimilli of what they knew Do and Crew were considering/planning as it was no secret that Jesus “layed down his life voluntarily”, as much a classification of suicide as a coma kazi pilot or soldier that gives their life for others.

But since these can seem like excuses from a believer, how about the testimony of Hayden Hewes in he and Brad Steigers book “UFO Missionaries Extraordinary” they wrote with interviews from believers and former believers and non believers and from Bo (Do) and Peep (Ti) in 1974, 1975 and 1976. Hayden, a non-believer but one with an unusually open mind recounted his great surprise when he used a code he said Ti and Do gave him to use if he had any questions for them. Nine months after interviewing them and getting the code from them, after their story hit the press big time, Hayden used the code and by the next day he received a phone call from two students of Ti and Do who were with Ti and Do at the time. The next day Hayden was curious whether it would work again so he used the code and again he received a phone call from two other students of Ti and Do and they asked him if he wanted to meet with them, to which he said yes and within a short time were at his office doorstep. This was all spoken of on page: 73. Here is the excerpt:

Hayden says of July 13, 1974 in the office of his International UFO Bureau, Inc. in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma …,

“As the interview was ending, “Herf” gave me a simple thought-code sequence to use if I ever needed to get in touch with them to know the truth.

Shortly afterward, The Two said good-bye and walked out of the office toward the street. I accompanied them to the road and started to return to the office. I immediately turned around–and they were gone. There were no cars on the street, either parked or passing by. It appearned that they had simply vanished.”

Sawyers note: Years later in the 1980’s, Ti and Do told their student body of how this was reported in the media when they did nothing miraculous to leave Hayden but walk off. (However, one can wonder if the Next Level crew even unbeknown to anyone else cloaked Ti and Do without their knowing they were cloaked, one way to account for their apparant vanishing from Hayden. We known the Next Level Above Human has this power.

(Continuing with Hayden’s account:)

“It was not until almost fifteen months later that The Two began to hold public meetings. A great deal of media coverage was generated by their appearances at these gatherings and the message they related.

It was at this point that I decided to use the mental code to find out “the truth.” It was my understanding that it was necessary for followers to undergo death to get to the next level, but I wanted to know for sure. So I used the code while asking for the truth in the name of our Father in Heaven.

The following morning, I received a telephone call from a young man who professed to be a follower of The Two. He said he had been directed to contact me. “What do you need to know?” he asked.

After several minutes of conversation, it became plain to me that this individual did possess information that had not been related in the media. He advised me that they would always be in touch with me when I needed him.

I tried the code again that night, and the following day the young man called once again. He wanted to talk in person, so I gave him my address. Less than three minutes later, he was standing on my front porch with another individual.

*** end of excerpt from Hayden Hewes testimony ***

I can think of many things Ti and Do said that to me came true, but they will not be proof for you. They told me that spirits – discarnates were real. I believed it but I had not experienced much until some years ago when I literally, on a number of occasions, even to the other night saw spirits while I was completely awake. It’s true that two were after being awoke from sleep so some could say I was dreaming but they were nothing like any dream. I pinched myself and all. The other occasions which were more often were while awake, actually before falling asleep when the lights were off but there was just a little light form led’s and moonlight/starlight and I would struggle to know what I was seeing as they weren’t as clear as those two.

Ti and Do also told us in the early 1980’s that genes could be changed. Now perhaps they read it or watched a TV channel that suggested it, which is fine if that is where they came upon that belief. I’d be curious to know whether anybody was writing books with that in mind in the 1980’s as I know for the most part it was taught in schools that if it’s in one’s chromosomes it’s hardwired which may not be exactly the same thing as gene changeability.

They did say that they would physically die.

They said that space aliens existed and when I met them I had no interest in ufo’s or space aliens and it only dawned on me in a revelatory way that the accounts of crashed ufo’s with bodies actually happened in 1987 after Do provided the student body with the book, “Crash at Aztec” and made parts of the appendix required reading, some of which included a detailed autopsy of recovered ufo occupants that crashed presented by Leonard Stringfield. However, in 1976 while having lost contact with Ti and Do and any other students except for the one I was assigned by Ti and Do months earlier, I saw a huge distinct Z written in the sky, with straight 90 degree angles by a bright ball of light traveling as fast as a falling meteor, but with no sign of a tail or break up that encompassed the entire sky over Corpus Christi, Texas in 2-3 seconds. Of course that again was proof to me but as some deny any of the thousands of reports over thousands of years are intelligently piloted spacecrafts it is not proof to them.

Aside from these few things, there are many, many circumstantial confirmations of what they taught and said. Another comes to mind that was saying the Next Level was holding back calamities from the United States so the classroom could have the freedom to exist and be able to disseminate their information freely. Then after they left the 9-11 attack happended and the patriot act was passed which was certainly a calamity, plus some horrific storms like Katrina and Sandy and all these now common mass and school shootings all evidencing a gradual increase in calamities in the U.S. since the class has exited yet not so fast that we who are still disseminating Next Level info to the public are shut down from doing so, though that seems to be approaching.

I could go through all the fulfillments of prophecy that I believe demonstrate that Ti and Do are who they said they were.

But all in all, everything they said was true for the moment and can be seen in a true light IF one wants to. They always said, that this or that perspective was “true for now” – in other words appropriate for what the students needed. The classroom in many respects was a “follow the leader” lesson to where the leaders were Ti and Do. To the next level if we were willing to see exactly what Ti and Do said as true then we were showing the signs of having detached from our human roots of reasoning, etc. to trust in their Minds and that shows the purpose of the classroom to offer the “astronaut training program” to all who wanted it so those who pass the course could be trusted to perform service on spacecrafts with very important ramifications to our choices. They don’t want nor need anyone on their crafts who will start to tell them how to do things better but that does not at all mean They won’t require of us to use our minds to arrive at choices our Older Members would recognize as having come from their minds because they too want to draw their answers from their Older Member’s minds which is a chain of mind to the chief of chiefs.

Inet Radio on Ti and Do’s fulfillment of the Two Witnesses Revelations 11 Prophecy and on Inet TV as well

January 13, 2014

I’m broadcasting tonight 9-11pm et on Inet radio and USstream TV focusing on the Two Witnesses of Rev 11 as a student wants me to prove how Ti and Do fulfilled all those prophecies. Can call into radio show at: 646-478-5618 to listen and/or talk or just go to the address to listen and log in to chat at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sawyer and to watch my funny face on TV go to: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/heaven-s-gate-cast

Q and A about how the group lived and ody’s and how sawyer met Ti and Do

January 11, 2014

I was asked the following questions by someone interested in making a movie so I’m simply sharing the answers:

1) I’ve heard that in Heaven’s Gate everything was done in a meticulous manner. So, I wanted to know was there a schedule for the day? For instance, did you all wake up, attend class, play games or do any other task or hobbies at a certain time?

Yes we lived very regimented lives, especially when we moved into houses from the wildeness camping we did for years. We had nearly 50 people living in one single family, but large house, that only had about a dozen beds so we had three shifts of sleeping and that included three shifts of breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. A few years after that about half of us got jobs in the world and so schedules had to work around the job requirements. We had an “up time” and a “down time”, all terminology for otherwise normal human things changed. For instance all departments of life became “labs” so there was the nutri-lab for the kitchen and the fiber-lab for the laundry and the yeast lab for the bakery, etc. We did have games and a certain amount of TV and outings to movies and occasional restaurant or church visit. One year we had a Christmas tree and exchanged presents but all the presents were functional for the “craft”. We called the “house” a craft as it was a simulated spacecraft environment and organization. We eventually had computer networks and intercome and TV’s even in bathrooms so we could keep up with news and special shows Ti and Do wanted us to watch. It was literally amazing. Everything was clean and orderly and yet never any harsh words or threats, though challenges galore to come up to speed with Ti and Do’s directions for our thoughts and actions. We had virtually every kind of discipline one sees in the religions but without pompt and ceremony or garb or dogma. There was no group prayer or stock prayers, though we did have a few meditations. Things would be required for a time and then optional. We lived like kings and queens towards our last years in the sense of comfort and always had well prepared foods with health consciousness most always considered. We experimented with all sorts of fasts and diets for health to mitigate doctor needs. We did have a library and “played astrology” as a game for those that gravitated to doing so. All this and much more stimulated the “lessons” – how we worked with one another and the teachers.

2) When you join Heaven’s Gate was there some kind of initiation? Did Do call you in front of the class and announce the new member or something similar?

No, but you will see in question 4’s answer what took place.

3) Forgive me, if you’ve answered this already, but was the suffix “ody” something you earned? Did you have reach a certain level, complete a certain task, or demonstrate a certain amount of competence to earn the suffix?

Here is a thorough understanding of “ody”:
http://wp.me/puJOl-2M

4) Can you describe the first time you met Ti & Do? What was your first impression?

You motivated me to do something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. I’ve posted the first six chapters of my autobiography I wrote long ago. In it you will find in the last two chapters answers to these questions:

http://wp.me/puJOl-83

Sawyer’s Story leading up to joining Ti and Do’s “Classroom” and leaving in 1994

January 11, 2014

Our lives don’t really begin at birth. We are the genetic continuation of life that is shaped by each generation’s ancestors and society that forms the human kingdom’s “Tree”. We are each one leaf on that Tree.

What many people and scientists don’t know yet is that the genes don’t only represent each cell of our body’s biology but hold our changing mentality – the programs we establish for our selves during our life and the programs we delete that constitute our mind, which in the ancient terminology is the spirit of each leaf.

That spirit upon death of the human vehicle still exists and at death gets whatever it believed it was going to get which can be a total illusion or a perspective of what’s most real about our existence – how the earth and all it’s life forms were designed by the Older Members and Their Crews in the physical, many membered Kingdom Level Above Human. The earth to date was used to foster an experiment – an Astronaut Training Program to see who could be helped to become a member of the Next Level.

This is a synopsis of the life of one leaf’s experiences growing up and becoming a student in the Next Level Older Members, TI and DO’s experiential “Classroom”.

Chapter One – History prior to meeting Ti and Do

So much of who we are is therefore shaped before our birth, then further sculpted by our parents, their characteristics, beliefs, habits, education, methods, principles, standards, ethics, morals, even their aspirations as well as their accepted limitations, bias, prejudice, jealousies, envies, angers and any number of other challenging components.

Some of these influences whether internal or externally fortified don’t surface as our characteristics until we are under the same stresses of life, often occurring at a time period comparable to when our parents experienced the same. For instance certain of us never experience conservatism until we have children and desire for their well being, forms of security and a healthy/happy future. Other influences on us never sit well with us and in these cases become points of; repulsion and/or rebellion. Our development is further complicated by the vast environmental influences we are raised into, such as the social, economic and political atmospheres prevalent during our formative years. These in total are the influences that form a new being, one that could be potentially wiser, the same or more limited than all who came before them. In either case, here is a synopsis of my journey through early development.

GENETIC HERITAGE

My (vehicles) grandparents were immigrants to the United States. On my dad’s side both of his parents, Fred and Mary were of Czech Bohemian decent though they were born in Manhattan. On my mother’s side, my grandmother, Rose was born in Austria, having her family in Vienna. I don’t know a lot of her youth except that she came from a large family of 10 siblings and at some point she went to work in a convent in Vienna, as an aspiring nun. However, she met an Austrian man, John, who she eventually married. My grandfather, previous to meeting my grandmother was enlisted into the Austrian/German army during WWI. He was critically wounded and taken for dead. As the story goes, he had received wounds to his abdomen area. They tied a coat around his midsection to hold in his organs and he was taken for dead and thrown on a truck. But it was discovered that he was still alive, so was cared for and survived. Meanwhile my grandmother, Rose followed one of her older sisters to the United States. John soon followed after Rose having started a relationship with Rose just before. They soon married. John’s war wounds left him with a half of a testicle. That didn’t keep him from impregnating my grandmother with their only child, to become my mother, named Violet. They lived in Manhattan and went through the depression. John had opened a pet shop at some point but then lost his store. However, he kept many of his pets, a good many birds and hung up the cages in their small apartment. He traded or sold them for food. At some point they were trying to qualify for welfare and they were told they had too many birds so would not qualify, presuming they could sell the birds. I can recall clearly when we’d visit them in that Manhattan apartment, all the bird cages crowding the small kitchen. I have little memory of my mother’s dad, except that he would take me to the city fountains in the summer to play and cool off. He got sick and died when I was five years old. I can see him in bed. He left me one thing he was fond of, a harmonica. I later became a player. My grandfather also avoided doctors and would do his own health research. I followed suit in that vein as well.

My dad, also named Fredrick began dating my mom, Violet soon after his return from US Army service in WWII. He served in both theaters. I always wondered why war was presented as a play or movie. Perhaps that was my first question, the first of many to come as I slid my way out of that birth canal. He, as so many others had an extremely traumatic experience with the war that would stay with him for the rest of his life. I didn’t learn to what extent until I was in my 40’s. His buddy had his head shot off while right next to him. He was a sergeant and piloted a tank. He was a good driver so became useful transporting ammunition by truck across the alps on dirt roads. At the time many of the trucks were in poor service. He often drove with no brakes in the mountains, at night during blackouts, when no lights were allowed to be used, fearing being shot at by fighter jets. My dad, who has since passed was regularity plagued by nightmares of his war experience. He would get out of bed and hold onto the side frantically, while shouting with great alarm. He was a kind hearted, hard working, fun loving guy. When I became a teenager I put him through a great deal of stress, being a rebellious youth. I hope I can do as well as he with my kids. Anyway, they hit it off and married.

BORN IN MANHATTAN

I was born in Manhattan, that’s “dirty New York City” as my mom and dad would joke as we drove in to visit grandma and grandpa. It was in the summer of 1951, sometime in the early morning when I popped my head out to take a look. My first stab at life was to shoot back following the doctor’s slap on my rump. I peed in his face. At four my parents bought a house on Long Island, the suburban town of Plainview. It was a middle class white Catholic neighborhood then but soon became mixed with those of a Jewish faith. It cost them $10,000 and I later learned that was a year’s salary for my dad at that time. He worked as a salesman for a commercial refrigeration equipment company. He was generally good at whatever he tackled be it carpentry, plumbing, car mechanics or sports. In later years he took additional part time work to make ends meet and try to get ahead. It was 1952 and except for these suburban housing developments, our town was still largely potato farms. I can recall going to church, having been raised a Catholic, in a barn with roosters running about. There were always a bunch of days each summer that climbed near or slightly above 100 degrees, so hot and humid it was, that I at times would faint in church service from heat exhaustion. I can recall then and some years later, passing out only to awaken to the face of nuns in those black habits. I always felt I was bad to have fainted, though I don’t recall having reason to feel that way, except perhaps when you come to and a nun in that black hood and white habit is sternly, even angrily admonishing me for passing out.

I was a small skinny kid, light brown hair, freckles and bad breath yet a normal kid I suppose. I did well in elementary school, though was certainly insecure. I can recall screaming for my momma not to leave on the first day in Kindergarten. My mother told me that one of the first things I said that they took special note of was a question, perhaps at five about where babies come from which they didn’t know how to answer. In response to their lack of answer I said in a matter of fact way…”Well, things don’t just happen!” as I lifted my arms to exclaim.

SAID I WANTED TO BECOME A PRIEST

I was perhaps 9, about 1960 when I remember saying I wanted to be a priest. I had no interest in being an alter boy and have mostly bad memories of being Catholic. My best memories are going to church in a barn with roosters running around, with big fans installed inside for the hot weather. As I said, I recall passing out in church on 3 or 4 occasions, I think due to the heat. My system passes out easily. Maybe it’s an oxygen thing.

I can recall at about 10 years old when my folks were about to leave me for two weeks at a Catholic Boys Camp, St. Dom Bosco, I cried and cried not to be left there by my parents. Maybe it was in part because I was a small boy and was picked on somewhat and especially by my friend who was a year younger but much larger who also went to the camp. I learned to run fast. That saved me at times. At others, my older cousin, also at the camp would protect me from him. I remember one thing I liked about camp. I sort of liked the singing we’d do in church everyday. I remember being bashful at first, but the brothers and nuns sang too and that was neat. One thing I hated was all the aggressive behaviors of the other kids. For instance at chow times, they might put out a plate of chicken per table. If you were not fast and aggressive you often did not get any chicken. But I never starved. Another thing I hated was the swimming lessons. Why couldn’t we just swim and have fun. No, we had to learn to tread water for three minutes and being skinny I was always cold in this upstate NY lake. I frequently was shivering and had blue lips. I just did not thrive on competition though in years later I played all the street sports well, even better than many of the bigger kids. I was fast and could catch anything that came my way, be it a baseball, basketball or football. And I had a good arm too. I could hit well and my dad taught me lots. I ended up pitching in Little League, but that was after several boring years as an outfielder who struck out a lot. It seems in life I have always been a late starter and frustrated by it but once I got the hang of something, I tended to excel. I also had a mischievous streak, though may have been taught that by an older friend who I grew up with that in later years I did some mischievous things with on his instigation. But he wasn’t at this camp so I certainly had my own boyhood cruelty. I recall crushing frogs with rocks. I confess, that was the extent of my cruelty to anything living, except for the times I would pull the legs off beetles and other insects and put them in arenas to battle with one another. I wonder if I imagined that they actually fought one another. Maybe they thought the other took their leg off. Who knows what karma I created there. Oh, yes, I would step on yellow jackets bees with my bare foot to kill them. If you did it with your heal real hard it worked well, though I got my share of stings at other times when I wasn’t trying to kill them. It was just something we boys did to show our machismo, something I had little of.

I loved watching the TV show, The Big Picture, essentially black and white war footage in documentary form. It was exciting to see those battle ships shooting off those big guns and all the GI’s running about. War was a theater indeed; I also liked playing cowboys and Indians with my six shooters in hand. Yes, I was a cowboy – the Indians were the savages right? I don’t know when I reversed that understanding of reality. Zorro was a favorite hero and of course Jesse James and there were these two out of time outer space characters, Bleep and Blip or something like that, animations that would zip through space on adventures. That was more or less my first exposure to anything outer space, though a few years later there would appear the TV shows the Outer Limits, the Twilight Zone and eventually; the Jetsons.

FLYING DREAMS

I remember a dream I often had. I was playing basketball and when I’d jump, like to do a layup, though it seemed in this dream I did jumping all over the court and when I’d do it, I’d be trying to stay up – in other words not come back down to my feet – yes…fly or glide. It took practice and in the first couple dreams I barely stayed up – long enough to reach the basket, though I never stuffed it or shot it in the dream. The technique I used to stay up was one of mind. It was like I was creating a pressure with my thoughts that was reaching upward to pull my body along. Maybe a year into these dreams I did glide quiet a bit and even remember soring like super man, not all over the world and stuff but all around the court. I’d be swooping down close to the floor and then exercise my mind to pull my body up, sometimes grazing the floor. I got quite good at it and it certainly was fun though at the same time it felt difficult to do. It never happened without that pulling effort that seemed to have to be primed anew with each episode. These dreams seemed to linger even after I awoke and I could go back into them. Years later I was told flying in dreams was a good sign. It meant your spirit was, as they say “astral traveling”. I registered that as…oh, I guess then I’m somewhat advanced in some way but never paid it any mind thereafter. I guess I could have tried to do it more and perhaps I would have traveled all over the world astral traveling as is told of yogi’s and such in India have experienced for thousands of years.

ADOLESENCE

But reeking of being a late starter. I can recall being ashamed of my body early on, like in 5th and 6th grade and thereafter. I learned early on that I was not well endowed as they say and to top it off was slow to puberty often marked by hair growth on the body. I remember wishing I’d had some facial hair and then was stressed about how hairless my legs were. I was a dirty blond hair color. I remember using my mom’s mascara to paint the few blondish hairs I had on my mustache. I’m sure I looked great in school. I’d wipe it off before I came home. Once I forgot and my mom wondered what was on my face. I learned early on that if I was going to fit in, at least as I felt I wanted/needed to, I’d have to hide it from my mom, I don’t know about my dad in this respect because she had her ideas about how I should look and act. You don’t want to stand out as weird or poor or lacking self respect. For instance, in 6th grade I was into the Four Seasons singing group. You know, “Sher er er er er er eri bay ay beeeee, Sheri Baby” The “in” look at the time was tight black polyester pants that came up a bit on the ankle where they were tightest. Then we’d wear white socks and if we could get them, pointy black shoes with one inch wooden heals. It was later called the greaser look as opposed to the collegiate look of penny loafers and corduroy which my mom seemed to prefer. I remember putting taps on my shoes to sound real cool walking down the hall of the school. Of course I thought I had to hide those shoes from my mom so I’d leave them at school when I had a locker in 7th grade. My mom also had a favorite hairdo for me. She would take me to the barber who would put that gunk in my hair, that stunk like glue and in fact was as it set up my hair, making it stiff. I didn’t like it but it was the way it was. The part I hated more was the way she and the barber would comb my hair with this high wave right in front. I felt so square with that “doo”. So what did I do? I’d go to school looking like that and go to the boys room and with some additional gunk and a brush, unheard of for boys to use, I’d slick back both sides of my hair and pull a little wave down in front, you know the Elvis Presley look.

In was just about this time I can recall my first introductions to manhood. I didn’t like that either. It was 6th grade when I became aware of the birds and the bees as they called it. My parents didn’t tell me anything I recall. It was my friends that whispered this and that. I recall getting “excited” in the locker room showers. I was not attracted to boys. It just happened and as I was virtually hairless and small, I hid and skipped the showers thereafter. So I hated gym for that reason in addition to the fact that I was near the smallest guy in my grade. For some reason, no one even considered a small kid could ever play basketball or football and I was at that time not one to rock the boat of pier pressures.

BEGAN MUSIC

One thing I did excel in was playing hand drums on my desk. The song Wipe Out was a favorite because of it’s drum beat. I wanted to take up drums when an instrument was offered, but they said they already had a drummer or two so my choices were band instruments. I got clarinet and early on thought it was square. Where I got some of these ideas of what was square, I don’t know.

REPEATED ABSTRACT NIGHTMARES

I can recall two additional phobias of sorts that plagued me in about my 12th year or so. I would frequently wake up screaming bloody murder and I mean screaming bloody murder and it would go on and on. My parent were beside themselves with it. I would be laying down, say on my stomach with my hand under my face on the pillow and that pillow would feel like it was growing huge like a house and then becoming normal or small again. It was well beyond reality and it was while awake too that it would continue. I was afraid to go to sleep for this reason. At times it was during a period of high fever but then occurred at other times as well.

The other thing was being spooked by the dark and especially in my room where a closet was frequently left open and it had hats on the top shelf and long overcoats hanging so looked like a person was there. I would hide under the covers. I’d wake up an stare at the shadows near ready to swear someone was there.

It reminds me, how my daughter of 9 is afraid to go to sleep and is afraid of the dark and of any loud noises and of any hint of even playful rabble rousing between people. Like if I started playing with my partner, tickling or something or with my older stepdaughter in a rollicking way, she would freak out and scream like we were murdering one another. She got a double dose of types of sensitivity or over active imagination some might call it – others a type of intuitiveness or antenna as to things that we can’t readily see happening around us at times and/or a type of genetic memory of past experiences perhaps.

My first real bad impression of Catholics was when I was to be “confirmed” into the religion. To be confirmed I had to pass this fifty question test. It was mostly memory questions, like: Where is God, the answer to which was: God is Everywhere. Well, I couldn’t pass the test and don’t recall what questions I got wrong, but do recall myself with Mother Superior and my mother at the Catholic school where I had my religion classes once a week drilling me on these questions in a last ditch effort to get me to pass. I did not and the nun was angry with me, that was clear to the point that I did some crying. I guess I was what some might call a cry baby at times. I don’t know that I ever passed the test but I was confirmed. My mother gave me the confirmation name of Scott, named after Scott Carpenter the second American to orbit the earth and the fourth American in space. Do you think that had something to do with being interested in space or why I became a space case?

I recall in some later years when at these evening Catholic adolescent meetings I felt like I excelled at their religious curriculum when it had less to do with memory of some Apostles creed or some such thing. But I also skipped the meetings and went to shoot pool instead.

MOVIES ABOUT HEROS IN WAR OR FOR GOD MADE BIG IMPRESSIONS

And from who knows what age, but certainly in early teens I was repeatedly watching the movies… The Ten Commandments, The Greatest Story Ever Told, which was about Jesus, Gunga Din – that was set in India and had one particular spot where an Englishman took a bad whipping yet did not complain or let it stop him from his just mission. That seemed heroic to me. Another movie that made a big impression on me was Spartacus set in the time of Christ, as there was a scene in it of Jesus carrying the cross to his execution. I would get very emotional whenever I’d see Jesus suffering or anyone suffering for what appeared to be for no good reason. Spartacus ends with the “good guys” as it was portrayed, though are rebels to the mainstream roman army, perhaps 300 of them are captured by the Romans. They had them all lined up and the Roman leader asked who was Spartacus, the name of their leader. There was a long pause and a then one man steps forward and says, “it is I”, then another and another and another until all 300 stepped forward and were all hung on trees sort of the way Jesus was hung. It seemed so damn brave and honorable to have that kind of commitment.

I recall thinking…wow, I want to be a hero or martyr like that. I didn’t exactly have those words form in my mind. I remember thinking being a hero or martyr, dying for another or for God, though I had no idea what God really was but that this was the noblest of lives we could live. I just felt a yearning to be that. I guess it was like my 9 year old daughter who at 4 or 5 would say… “daddy…I want be her” when she’d see someone glamorous or a good cheerleader or something. But I was not in reality all that brave. I was in fact very protective of myself – didn’t generally take big risks like other kids.

When I finally got into 7th and 8th grade, my grades started going downhill. I recall laying in my upper bunk bed at home and trying to make myself do the solo man sex thing, well you know and I just couldn’t get it to happen and I was quite frustrated by it. I was very shy, had very few school friends and did not excel in anything in particular.

At about this time, I’d joined the PBC which stood for Police Boys Club. It was a Navy formatted boys club. We wore Navy uniforms and my dad and other dads and an occasional older kid were the officers. We’d march and learn to handle a rifle in a ceremonial way. I remember one time while we were at an outing in New London, Connecticut on the Naval base there staying for the night. We were all going to bunk down in bunk beds on the base and the commanding officer of our group said good night and I replied “Guten Nacht” – German for good night. Silence. The next morning I had KP duty. The real sailors there thought it was quite funny. I was a bit of a joker but it was natural for me to speak some German as my grandmother taught me some as she was from Austria and spoke German. After KP duty we put on a drill team performance for the cadets stationed there. I was small so I was on the last row of the drill team marching in full blues. The command was “double to the rear, harch” as they would say which meant for the entire platoon to reverse direction at the same time and then reverse it again to continue marching in the original direction. I failed to do the second reversal so I was marching in the opposite direction from the rest of the platoon. I guess that sums up the story of my life in some ways. I just couldn’t get with the stream. My grandmother used to call me “wrong way Peabody” named after that cartoon character who drove airplanes and cars and such while sitting backwards. I got better at drilling though and ended up training younger cadets, but the highlight for me of the entire experience was when they started a drum core. I got a snare and I immediately took to it like a duck to water. And with it they gave us a rank to go with our experience, so overnight I went from a seaman first class to a first class petti officer and then I got to order younger cadets around, though I never gravitated to doing so.

ENTRY TO “DELINQUENT” BEHAVIORS

By the 9th grade I began smoking cigarettes, naturally on the sly. My parents had both quit smoking a few years earlier, a good move, but I recall being sent to the store to buy my mom cigarettes. I don’t know who first introduced them to me. Perhaps when I began babysitting for a smoker’s family, I got a hold of some cigarettes. I was quite the sneak back then. While baby sitting after the kids went to sleep I’d find the cigarettes and use a razor blade to slice the bottom of the package to get some out and tape it back with see through tape. I bet he discovered it though I never found out. I had a bunch of baby sitter episodes the most memorable being on a New Years Eve – I was drinking Jack Daniels that I found in the house. I must have been 16 or so. They had this ham they were going to bake the next morning for New Years Eve dinner. I remember chopping at it with a knife, not in a killing way, but just in a goofy way and putting cigarettes out on it and stupid stuff. I never baby sat after that…I wonder why.

It was about this time that my dad arranged for me to work my first job, putting newspapers together in a drug store on weekends. I recall seeing all the things in the back rooms and couldn’t help but take things. I would take prophylactics, not that I had any use for them, and I began taking cigarettes. In fact it became a big problem because I began taking cartons, sometimes two or three a night. I would take them to school and sell them out of my locker. With the money, I’d treat my friends to billiards at a local parlor. I eventually lost my job and my dad confronted me about it and I denied it. I lied. I did a great deal of lying. I’m not proud of it. I got another job through my job and stole little worthless things. I also would steal cookies and candies and stuff out of supermarkets.

In high school I stole change from the school store where I was trusted to work. I’d then go to the soda shop down the street, often cutting class to play pinball with the money. When I got away with it, I couldn’t hold myself back and would steal more and more. I eventually lost that job too. I was a petty thief and a liar to not get caught. I never made up a lie maliciously, like to get my way or to manipulate another, but to defend myself and what I wanted to do, I’d lie and lie and lie even in the face of obvious evidence of my indiscretion. My younger sister of five years once caught me smoking in the back yard of our house and I denied it up and down. This sort of came to a head when I was in a department store record department. I loved music and did not have any budget for albums so I took a shopping bag and helped myself to some 30 albums. This was my most blatant robbery. Usually I was somewhat cautious about where, when and how I stole but this time I threw all caution to the wind and tried to walk out the door. I was nabbed and taken to a back room and interrogated. For sometime I refused to give them my name, but eventually cracked and my mother came down to get me. I was let go with a warning. I guess I was lucky. After that I seemed to cease my thievery so it goes to show once a thief not always a thief and that the punishment does not always have to be harsh. I was grounded but that was no big deal as I’d just climb out of my window and back in before anyone knew I was gone. Yes, I was quite defiant of the rules whether they were just or not. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and did not take well to being told I couldn’t do it.

Now in high school with bad grades and no popularity and a girl friend that would not “put out” despite my advances, I was certainly a mixed up kid. I recall playing with my girlfriend – you know kid playing where I was trying to cop a feel and she would fight me off. I eventually got stronger than her and one time tackled her and got on top of her and was going to do what I wanted to her, which amounted to getting that first “feel” I so desperately wanted. She pleaded for me not to and I ceased and let her go. I recall a couple years later when I had gone to college and she and I had long since ended our on and off again relationship, I was fooling around with her on the doorstep of her parents house. She had had another boyfriend by then. She put her hand down my pants and determined the size to be laughable. I left her embarrassed. By that time I had had many make out sessions with various girls but nothing ever got more sexual and it was a big hang-up for me – a great source of frustration.

EXPOSURE TO RECREATIONAL DRUGS AND EXPLODING COUNTERCULTURE

In my junior year a friend, Mike turned me on to “drugs” for the first time. I don’t recall any big program to try to steer kids away from experimenting with such as they have now. It was 1968. I smoked some marijuana and liked it though I didn’t experience much. Mike’s friend Mark became my friend as well. Mark was a senior and after school his parents house became a haven for all manner of drug use, barring anything hard core like heroin or needles. There was none of that. There was plenty of hallucinogens though and I became a regular weekend tripper and a full time stoner. We began dealing to support our own growing habits and for the first time I had a click to fit into. I didn’t try the pot to get into the click. I tried it because it was offered me and I was into trying whatever was offered me. There were four of us. We were heavy into all the heaviest rock music of the late 60’s – Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, who at the time I felt was “evil” music, especially while “high”. We regularly attended shows of Procol Haram, The Beach Boys, Hot Tuna, Ten Years After and such. One time we went to a show and sat with the bass player from Iron Butterfly. He showed us how to roll a joint with one hand. The show opened with The Chambers Brothers playing, Time, then came Janis Joplin and Big Brother and the Holding Company and the headliner was The Jimi Hendrix Experience. Of course we love the Cream and especially the drummer Ginger Baker, a speed freak kind of a guy.

INTRODUCTION TO THE NEW AGE

We would drop acid, LSD or mescaline and go to a park nearby to hang out, listen to musicians and play Frisbee. Simultaneous with such considered to be mind enhancing drugs, as I never gravitated to depressants like heroin or opium, I began exploring religion/spirituality, perhaps stimulated some by Mark. I had always been a Jesus enthusiast, though had no interest in Catholicism. Mark was raised a Jew, but we would read our bibles together and go to the park barefoot with our bibles and hang out with older “hippies” some of whom were anti-war activists. We also read books like “The Tibetan Book of the Dead, Kahil Gibran’s, The Prophet, Johnathan Livingstone Seagull, essentially about reincarnation and many other “new age” materials that were becoming prominent in the United States at that time. We attended an introductory meeting in Manhattan given by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s Transcendental Meditation Organization. A requirement for membership was quitting pot which by then was not my desire. I smoked pot and hashish like a pack a day cigarette smoker.

One time Mark came to me with a vivid dream he’d just had. He said in the dream, I, speaking of me, was one of the Apostles of Christ. He wasn’t referring to himself in that vein, just me. I found it appealing to be considered such but that’s about as far as it went.

I ASKED GOD TO BE “TAKEN”

In one of our ventures to this park, the Planting Fields arboretum we did our drugs and drove over there. Just as we were getting “off” we came upon a side area in the park where someone had created three symbols using twigs and leaves. They were the peace sign, the cross and the Jewish star all in a circle next to one another. When I saw them together, I was so impressed that they were together, I fell to my knees paying homage to that demonstration of great unity. I had a slight hallucination or dream perhaps. I saw the sky/heavens open with great light descending and it was as if I saw God. A few minutes passed and I turned to look behind me where Mark and Brad had been and all I saw were their bibles blowing in the wind. I assumed God took them and left me. I was freaked by it and fell to my knees again crying and asking God why I was not worthy. I got up and walked on, falling down every so often with grief. I was not so “out there” that I didn’t know my actions. In most of my “trips” I maintained control. I allowed myself to dramatize more than I normally would have when off drugs. I kept walking on and then saw them in the distance. I approached them and they were talking with a guy who was a year their senior. He explained that he had just come from Chicago where there were riots and he got beat up a bit. I looked at his face and could have sworn his entire face was constructed of scars, but I believe this was the drugs affect on me. However, drugs or not, this remained in my consciousness as a spiritual awakening of sorts.

FACED WITH THE VIETNAM WAR

Mark in particular was about to be drafted and his parents had hired a good lawyer to get him a deferment. I was against the Vietnam war, having had some exposure to the anti-war message and the political-economic real reasons for the war. There was no way I was going to fight in this war. I began considering fleeing to Canada. A year or so later the lottery system would be instigated by President Nixon and my birthday yielded 343 of 365, so the likelihood of my ever being called was remote.

NO INTEREST IN THE EDUCATIONS SYSTEMS

I barely graduated high school because by then I was a regular cutter of classes. I hated the subject matter, did not wish to study, was not involved with any school activities, was hanging out with other more or less hippies smoking pot regularly and tripping. But a deal was made and I graduated and my parents found a obscure college that would take me. I went away to Beckley College in Beckley, West Virginia. Until then I was still under my parents thumb. They would not permit me to grow my hair long which I resented but now that I was living at school, I did as I wanted and grew my hair and whatever beard I could. But college was a joke. I became the hippy I wanted to be. I did plenty of drugs. I was exposed to heroin but turned it down. During the course of all of my drug usage, with the hallucinogens I often hated that I took them. The beginning of a trip was physically very stressful, like being plugged into a wall socket. After that it was interesting, though still somewhat traumatic. But I continued in that vein in College.

VIOLENCE IN WEST VIRGINIA

West Virginia at that time was certainly not a peaceful place for hippy’s. I and some of my friends were threatened by locals and police, some were punched around a bit. A policeman shot my friends dog. A truck tried to run us off the highway once. I walked into a general store where they also had a beer bar and one of the beer drinkers, turned toward me and gave me the finger out of the blue with a mean angry look on his face. I never did learn why. It was just one of a number of hateful things I experienced at that time. Another time, I had just taken some mescaline and was lying in the bunk above my friends waiting to “get off” and the owner of that bunk in our dorm came in and violently grabbed me by the lapels and dragged me out of his bed. He among most others in that dorm house were football players and were big. He could have whipped me good. He didn’t. I would have just got off his bed. I guess I shouldn’t have been there. In this first year of college I was still sexually starved. There was one hippy girl I hung out with but I was not attracted to her much so we never hit it off. I bring this up again only because I ended up buying all manner of naked girl pictures and pinning them all over the wall adjacent my upper bunk in my dorm room. Nothing was considered “hard” porn but for that day and age was certainly risqué. On the week of final exams I dropped acid so didn’t pass even one exam. One close friend had his brother killed in the Kent State action. He was from Long Island. Out of anger, I can recall talking and thinking about bombing something, though we had no bombs or guns or any inclination towards violence.

COLLEGE MADE ME A HIPPIE

When I returned from college my parents freaked at my long hair and disheveled look and I suppose bad grades and thus wasted money. I recall my mom and dad on top of me screaming, with my mother pulling at my hair and my dad punching me in the arm. It was traumatic but not very physically abusive. My dad was a strong well build man and could have knocked my block off with one punch. My mom did almost all the physical punishment which mostly amounted to chasing after me with a wooden cooking spoon. She’d swat me with it and usually I’d block it. She broke it on me once. One time my dad was so upset with me, perhaps because I came home obviously on drugs, though to them it wasn’t that distinguishable, but this time he took me into the basement. He took a hammer and handed it to me. I took it and he told me to come at him to fight him. He wanted to level the field and have an excuse to really knock my lights out. I through the hammer away and took off saying he was crazy.

My parents were in no way bad parents. In fact I think they were unusually well intended but they had no idea how to raise the likes of me. It was an era of kids more or less being seen but not heard. Kids were not treated with much respect. They were loved but not counted as people yet. My parents were taught the ideology of “spare the rod spoil the child” the “Christian” way. I can recall in parochial school they at times took the paddle to a kid and some teachers had paddles and other physical forms of inflicting pain. It was still a norm, at least in the Catholic school back then. The problem was that this generation was experiencing something new as each does and the old methods don’t necessarily work for the better. In evolution all things need to evolve, peoples thoughts, actions and methods.

ENTRANCE TO THE WORK A DAY WORLD

So I was back from my “failed” college experience, working in factories, warehouses and such jobs while living with my folks and continuing drug use and whatever partying I could find in my home town. I learned that some of my boyhood friends had also proceeded with their lives. Artie, a year older than I had gone to college in Monticello, NY. I never learned how involved he might have been in the antiwar efforts in Universities nationwide. He talked of bombs being constructed and of the blowing up of them in certain student buildings and other more militant antiwar efforts. I didn’t know how seriously he was involved but certainly did not condone such. My friend Mark had become a bigger dealer, having big blocks of hash. I felt nervous once when we asked me to transport it with him somewhere. Brad, a year younger was crazy. He had set fire to his parents house, so they were temporarily living in motel. Mark and I went there to see him and while there was a knock on the door. Brad opened it and a two guys came in and one put a gun to brads head. The other held a knife on me and Mark. They proceeded to locate Brads’ stash of a bag of pot and some money. Some years later when I came back to Long Island for a visit, having moved to Oregon, Brad came over and was really weird. He took my mothers carving knife and grabbed me and put it to my throat. I acted as if he was joking and he was, but one never knew with Brad. When we partied together, I would drop on tab of acid and mark a couple and he might drop 7 or 8. Upon return from college I recall going over to Jeff’s house in Levittown. He was a friend of Marks who I knew before I went to college. He had become a much bigger dealer now. We were at his parents house and he showed us the gun he needed to carry to meet his dealers. I was not at all comfortable with all the violence and it’s pretenses. I did not hang out with any of these anymore.

I recall walking the streets nightly feeling lost and lonely talking to myself. I’d go to the local Howard Johnsons to just hang out, then go over to shoot some pool and back home. I worked factory and warehouse jobs for that summer and my parents asked me to pay rent but also wanted me home by a decent hour nightly. I resented having to pay to stay at my own house and not have the freedom such payment should have afforded me.

MY FIRST REAL GIRLFRIEND AND SEXUALITY

That’s when I met my first real girlfriend, Tara. She was such a breath of fresh air. I met her at a party. I was very stoned and acting foolish but began talking about reincarnation which was of interest to her, though I could not really talk intelligently about it as for one I had no intelligence about it really. I began hanging out with her and her friends. She was fun and seemed to like me, so to impress her I challenged another guy friendly with her to a contest of who could quit smoking cigarettes. She did not smoke. I never smoked another cigarette. I just needed a reason to quit and having a girlfriend, not that she made that stipulation, was plenty reason for me. We did go on to become a number. I loved her, not only sexually but as a person. We dated for nearly a year in which time she bought me my first Conga drum. She was tired of my banging around on her legs, a hypersensitive response I had since grade school. I got good fast and played with other musicians in some bars and in drum jams. She was more of an antiwar activist than I so asked me to go to Washington with her to demonstrate against the Vietnam war, which we did. It was 1971. I can recall being herded out of Washington DC by national guard, though it was mostly peaceful. But there were all manner of weirdo’s at the demonstration. One guy grabbed Tara from behind with his arm around her neck and she was getting alarmed. He was a big guy so I began to dance with him and her until he relaxed his grip and we scooted away. He was probably really drugged.

STRANGE PREMONITION OF DANGER

Tara was not a drug user at all. She got me to quit the hallucinogens, though they were not a big part of my drug usage, however I was still a toker as they say. One evening she decided to smoke some pot with me. We were in her room in her parents house. Her parents allowed us our privacy there. She started to hallucinate on one puff. She was quite sensitive and had only tried pot one time before that. She saw Noah’s ark in detail and was sort of freaking out. I got scared not having experienced this kind of response from pot. For some reason we both were getting more and more paranoid, a normal pot experience as it makes you more sensitive to an altered consciousness that still feels real. I recall looking at the door to her room and feeling tremendous fear at what was on the other side. I was afraid of opening it. I thought evil was on the other side but I was not that stoned that I didn’t know it could have all been my/our illusion so I went to the door. Just as I got to the door and unlocked it, Cara, Tara’s younger sister who was 14 years old came bursting into the room screaming that some guy tried to pull her into a car as she walked around the peaceful upper middle class neighborhood. After that experience I swore off pot and at that point all drugs.

DESIRE FOR ADVENTURE – SUMMER HITCHIKING TRIP

That summer of 71 I got it in my head to go cross country. I’d been up to Montreal several times with friends and people I met up there said Vancouver was the place to go. That together with hearing stories of red neck Americans harassing traveling hippies, as portrayed in the movie Easy Rider I was more fearful to cross the United States so we chose Canada. We couldn’t afford a motorcycle so decided to do so by thumb. Our parents were not happy but knew they could not stop us. That summer, we hitched to Montreal, then to Vancouver, then down to Tijuana, Mexico and back by the same route. On the way out, I recall going through the plains of Canada and people were telling us that there were roving gangs looking to pick up hitchhikers and abuse them, so I bought a knife for protection, though I never for a moment thought I’d have to use it and thank God never did. I used it to cut fruit, veggies, cheese and bread our road staples. I wasn’t really that paranoid. It was just a precaution in a world of good and evil. One strange ride was with a couple who seemed like partiers. They would drive 100 mph but it was in the plains so not really dangerous, just reckless feeling. At a gas stop we used the rest room, they drove off with one of our backpacks. I think they were tired of us and didn’t know they had our pack and didn’t care. So we had to replace the pack and the expensive sleeping bag we lost.

At one point in the journey we decided to spring for a bus ticket through the Seattle, Washington area. While on the bus we met a guy who said he was a reverend for some religious group we’d never heard of. He offered to marry us right there on the bus. I didn’t want to. Tara was upset by this. I guess she wanted to get married or just wanted to know I would, I don’t know. She pressed me for why I didn’t want to get married then and there. The reason infuriated her. I told her that I’d want to tell my mother or allow my mother to be involved. Plus, to me this guy had no more authorization to marry someone than I did so it seemed silly. I didn’t really see any reason to marry. I loved her and intended to be with her for my life. Looking back, I definitely had a strong compulsion to not add great responsibility to my youth. I remember when Tara was late on her period one time before we left on this trek. I dealt with the possibility that she was pregnant. I definitely would have been there for her and the child. I even recall that she might have been open to considering abortion at that time and to me that was out of the question. In fact the idea that she could be pregnant so affected me, that we rarely had intercourse after that and if we did, she was on birth control pills and I still insisted on the withdrawal method of contraception as it seemed the biggest safeguard against an accident. Actually her taking birth control pills was not my choice. It was diagnosed by her doctor as the best medication to assist her with very extreme menstrual cramping. Each month she was in bed for 3-4 days with severe cramping, diarrhea, nausea and weakness. Nothing helped her but the birth control pills. I recall taking care of her each month when we lived in the wilderness cabin. She was not even capable of walking by herself to the outhouse.

THE REAL HIPPIE SCENE – SAN FRANCISCO

We got down to Berkley where we hooked up with that drug dealer, Jeff I knew on Long Island. This was a few years later and he was a lawyer but I learned quite a dealer as well. He bragged a lot. One night while there we learned of a Grateful Dead concert at the Fillmore West. We were avid Dead Heads in NY having been to a bunch of their dance marathon type concerts. We went and the opening act was Quicksilver Messenger Service. During the Dead show a girl was gang banged right in front of us. I never saw the girl until some guy dragged her out of the group. All I saw were guys emerging out of the group of guys surrounding her pulling up his trousers, saying, she’s liking it. I was disgusted by it – even sickened. We were hippy types but really more of the conservative ilk. We never had group sex and I remained off drugs entirely by then. That night we stayed in an old warehouse where I later learned was where Ken Kesey had participated in group hallucinating experiences. The next night we slept on the roof of the Berkeley free clinic. So we got our dose of the real hippy movement and were not really in sync with it except for the antiwar and music aspects. Then we headed down to Redondo Beach, south of LA to stay with another friend. It was hot and humid and the air was thick, thick, thick with smog. In fact I recall a helicopter coming overhead with a megaphone announcing for the suburban populous to stay indoors with their air conditioners on. It felt bizarre. We met up with other friends in San Diego did a quick visit to Tijuana and headed back home. I recall hitching through the apple orchards where a mass murdered had stashed bodies, near Chico, California and Redmond or so. I remember being harassed by guys in pickup trucks, threatening us. We were quite vulnerable. The police would occasionally tell us to move on and we’d have to walk out of the town limits. We spent many house hiking and waiting which is when I got a great deal of experience playing harmonica and beating the bongos I had tied to my 70 pound pack. I got some decent muscles from slinging that around for three months.

On the way back from this 10,000 miles hitch hiking trek, we got a ride in eastern British Columbia, from a guy with a suit. We drove through the night sharing driving and the next day stopped at a bank in Regina, Saskatchewan. He went in and came out about thirty minutes later. We drove to the next big city, Winnipeg, Manitoba. He did the same thing. As we got into Ontario and had driven though night two, he told us, he was a bank robber and showed us his gun under the seat. He didn’t steal by gunpoint. He acquired some payroll checks. He’d deposit them in one bank and withdraw the funds from the next. Then he asked us to take this rental car across the border into the states as he knew we were headed there. We declined sheepishly. I drove through the 3rd night with no sleep to arrive in the early morning in Montreal. We got out at a park and dragged ourselves to a tree and collapsed asleep for several hours. Who knows what ever became of him.

LIVING IN “SIN”

When we returned despite our parents objections we rented an apartment together. It was $200 a month. We both got jobs and decided that next spring we were going to move to Canada to try to homestead. I wrote away for topographical maps of British Columbia and decided where we wanted to look for land. Our apartment became a pretty busy place. We had old high school friends visit. I had more then than I had in High School. I was more into music then. I played some sax and drums and harmonica so our parties were loud. Two good friends, Mike and Jack had joined the Navy. When they were on leave or AWOL, they would come stay with us. There were many a weekend we would hitch to stay at their house as they lived off base. They were stationed in Newport, RI on the Intrepid. When we’d visit them, they always had wild parties but for some reason what I recall the most was listening to Credence Clearwater Revival, drinking beer as I was still off pot and reading the bible and trying to interpret line for line in practical terms. Jack must have thought me a nut case.

BOYHOOD FRIEND TELLS ME I HAD A BIG EGO AND THOUGHT I WAS JESUS

I remember my friend Artie, a long time friend who was of a Jewish background at one point told me he thought I had a big ego and that I thought I was Jesus. I thought nothing of the sort, though I had Jesus aspirations, though I did not know what they were. I remember thinking that Jesus was out of reach. How could someone have unconditional love for everyone, I thought. How could someone love someone who grossed them out for instance, or an enemy. I don’t know where Artie was coming from. The only thing I can think of is that my college experience gave me some identity and then finally having a full time girlfriend and living in my own apartment made me feel more grown up, so that did build some self confidence but how that came across to him in a negative sounding “ego” sense, I’ll perhaps never know. Perhaps the fact that he was then living at home and didn’t have a girlfriend and I guess I talked about Jesus some entered into it. It wasn’t like I was a Jesus freak and certainly was not evangelical or a preacher. I simply sought to understand what the historic person was about. I didn’t even think of him in a traditional Christian way of being the Son of God.

I was working on the other end of Long Island for a handyman. It was difficult work especially during winter. I would hitchhike to and from work daily and it was cold and dreaded but it paid the bills. Tara was working for her Uncle in Manhattan. She’d take our only car or the train. One day on the way to work, it was raining and she skidded off Northern State Parkway, a curvy road and totaled the back end into a tree. Fortunately she was not hurt at all. The car still ran but would not hold much gas and looked atrocious. I ended up ripping off the back and building it into a station wagon with a wood back made of salvaged materials. I put in a new gas tank and exhaust system. My dad taught me basic mechanics and I had a bunch of cars to practice on over the years. As the winter came I lost my handyman job and found one in a drug store. We had our beefs with our current apartment so moved out to Centerport. We got a big house on a pond. It was great but not without weirdness. Next door on the same property was the main house also rented out but to a group of college students who had wild sex escapades, or so I was told. We never attended, but it was not much of a secret. To afford the $300/mo. rent we rented out a room for $100/mo. to a x-rugby player from England.

MY FIRST JUGBAND

One of our regular activities at the house, on weekends was to have jug band parties. My friend Artie would come over with his friends Dave and Tim and sometimes there were others. We’d drink fruity brandies chased with Guinness Stout Irish beer and get drunk while playing washtub bass, washboard, spoons, harmonica, congas, bongos, dulcimer and jaw harp among other percussive instruments. I’m sure we sounded like hell but it was fun. We also enjoyed watching the community skate on the pond, literally outside our living room window. When we left, he was behind on rent by several months and left a big hole in the wall from his rough sex with his girlfriend that he did not tell us about until the landlord was coming to check the house. We lost our deposit due to him. However, I was wanting to get something from him. It just so happened his tires were the same size as our mustang tires and ours were bald and his were not. so I put his tires on my car and mine on his. His girlfriend found out about it and said he was after us. We left the house ahead of schedule and within a few days were on the road to Canada, this time not as a vacation but in search of a new life in a country with socialized medicine and no wars and perhaps inexpensive beautiful British Columbian land.

MOVED TO BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA TO HOMESTEAD

We started out in the Okanagan Valley, near Penticton, B.C. orchard country. The jet stream across the Pacific kept the area relatively tepid. It had snow but not as much as one might expect that far north. We got jobs picking fruit while we inquired on land availability. We had only saved a couple thousand dollars for land and my plan was to build my own log home with the wood on the land. At least that was our plan, however naïve. A few months into being there, our trusty 1976 Ford Mustang custom station wagon broke down. I spend hours under it trying to repair it but to no avail so we ended up leaving it for dead and bought a 1949 GMC pickup truck for $300 which was more suited to rural mountain life. Some of the people we met in the orchard towns told us that the Clearwater, BC area was nice and there were quite a few people settling up there. As the summer was already ending and we had spent far more than we were taking in, we took their advise and headed north to Clearwater, in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. We had a contact there who was very near the Wells Gray Provincial Park, some 30 miles along a dirt road from Clearwater, a town with a population of less than 1000 people, mostly consisting of mill workers, hunters and trappers. After being there a couple weeks we were just about broke. I recall living off of crackers, peanut butter and jelly day after day for the better part of a week before I found a job working for the provincial park on road maintenance. One of my jobs was to haul water to the workers camp everyday. We pumped water from the creek into a tanker truck to then pump it into the storage tank that fed the camp. Meals were provided to me but not to Tara so at lunch time, she would drive over to where the mess hall was and I’d sneak out food for her. As the summer season ended the job ended but I got another job working on a cattle ranch. We were given a cabin to live in on a remote part of the ranch that bordered the mountain wilderness that extended for many hundreds of miles north. We lived in that cabin through the winter. To live the winter we needed to tap into our last nest egg of perhaps $1000. The cabin had no facilities and we were expecting over 60 inches of snow and extended below zero temperatures so we needed to gear up. We traveled to Kamloops a hundred miles west for supplies. We bought a rifle and a shotgun to hunt. I decided if I was going to eat flesh foods I was going to hunt it myself. I had studied up on that as well while still in New York. We bought a Wood cook stove and an airtight heating stove to heat a poorly insulated log cabin of one room that was about 20 foot square at best. There was a creek 30 yds. from the house so I filled up a big milk urn and used a ladle. The out house was 10 yards away. I cut my own wood supply throughout the winter. Our driveway was a bear, a mile long, but one advantage was it was plowed by the provincial park people. I got chains for my truck and had a box outside the house to use as a freezer. We bought sacks of flour, grain and beans and rice and had access to some veggies in Clearwater 30 miles away.

This is where I learned to fall trees and wow did I make every mistake in the book and near killed myself several times. I was a lousy hunter though I went out daily in the foot of new snow that would fall nightly. We also made leather products, handbags, hats, belts and such and sold in a local store and to local farmers a bit. Tara was a good artist so would paint on leather as decoration. I looked for more work in Clearwater at the mill but jobs were few at the time and they didn’t take too kindly to giving them to Yankees from the states. Most of our friends were draft dodgers who came up there to escape the Vietnam draft and married Canadian women to become citizens. Our cabin was the last building on the trailhead to the mountain wilderness, a park that had many huge waterfalls and a majestic peak at every turn. Some mornings we would be awoken by a fully outfitted hunting party. They would all be mounted on horseback and have a couple pack animals. We’d make them a pot of coffee and see them off. We became good friends with a woodsman and his wife who also worked on the ranch but about a mile away from us. He had a good 4X4 and helped me get my truck out of the ditch several times. My chains would snap and the ice was treacherous at times and we almost slide right down the mountain several times. Just to get up my driveway, I’d have to gun it and fishtail around two dogleg turns climbing over a ridge. Sometimes I’d be coming home late at night from looking for work and would leave the truck on the road and walk a couple miles back in the heavy snow with no lights anywhere. I could not even see my hand in front of me and would know if I was on the road when I would start to hit the snow banks on the sides from previous plowing. We had a pet weasel in our cabin. He was pure white and would run around on the inside of the logs as we watched from our bed. We remained warm and cozy. Here we were suburban kids barely in their 20’s living in the wild. Stories abounded by the locals of this old timer who was attacked by a bear while in his bed and how he for some reason burnt down his house. In fact that old burned down house was in view of where our cabin was. There was nothing left but the foundation but it made the stories real. Part of the reason I bought a rifle was for protection from the wild that we so closely bordered. We had no telephone or neighbors within miles with which to dial 911. The woodsman friend Dave and Joan told of his experience in the northlands. He shot a wolverine with a six shooter, off his leg, no less as it was making his way to his throat. He was no story teller. He had all the scars to prove he’d lived one heck of a tough life, raised by his trapper/hunter dad. I never did shoot anything except a squirrel and grouse which don’t eat too well with buckshot imbedded, but Dave shot a dear and I skinned it and he gave us a large part along with moose meat he shot.

We made a bunch of friends up there. We had a sense of community. A new couple got married and I played hand drums at their ceremony. Then we all got together for a chinking party. They had a log cabin where they were going to live. Chinking is the stuff one puts in between the logs to keep out the weather. It can be made from any number of combinations of materials but straw and mud mixed together is a common one. At least that is what we used. People brought food, so it was a pot luck and a present to the bride and groom to get their cabin chinked for the harsh winter.

When we first went to Canada to live, we camped in the Okanagan area, on orchards where we picked fruit for some living. That summer we made a bunch of friends, other fruit pickers and such. We ended up starting some long term relationships. We often had get together around the fire where we played music. I was a decent percussionist and harmonica and recorder player. There were a few string players and singers so we had a band. Some of these ended up in the Clearwater area as well and we had a number of music fiascos. In fact in the middle of winter I organized a ho down in an empty community hall. We invited anyone and everyone and had a hoot. My draft dodger friends, some of whom were also of the hippy types would smoke some pot. They wanted so badly to get me stoned, but I was not interested. I was not even tempted.

CANADA DREAM SQUASHED – OFF TO JAIL I GO

Well, one day, while getting a few supplies from town, two Canadian Mounties pulled over our truck and took me to jail, instructing Tara to gather our belongings and meet me at the border. I was being deported. I never did learn what led to my arrest but the charge was working without a visa. This was true. I did not do anything official to be living and working in Canada legally. Canada to me was my backyard. My parents took the family to Canada several times for vacations. I traveled up to Canada by car and by thumb a number of times. I walked across the border with a backpack. I didn’t think of Canada as another country but that was my naivety of course and my idealism that borders were man made and really of no consequence. This was a wake up call, that’s for sure.

But, I can’t say it was completely unanticipated. When I started working for the Provincial Parks, I used the assumed name, Clay. Clay had been a nickname Tara’s little sister gave me. My thinking at the time was, if Canada had a problem with my working illegally, then at least my real name would not be on the books so to speak. I know this thinking was quite flawed but at the time, at 20 years old, I thought it made sense and surprisingly enough Tara went along with it. Then to further emphasize our sense at the time that we were in fact living in Canada illegally and could be apprehended, we decided upon a strategy to attempt to correct this, however ill conceived.

Somehow we got the idea, that if we left Canada, then upon return we would have a fresh start. What was flawed with this idea was that we never planned to officially leave Canada as we never officially entered, so who would know we were reentering? Well we did it anyway and it was not without incident. We took our British Columbia registered truck across the border into Blaine, Washington. Then we virtually turned the truck around and tried to reenter. At the border the Canadian Border guard asked me if I had used Marijuana. I suppose looking like a hippy, that was a standard question to ask. Well, since I had not used marijuana for several years, I said…”I haven’t used it for years”. Well, that was not the time to be honest. He refused us entrance and we were in a jam because we didn’t know if we’d get home. Our plan at this point was to try to get across another border crossing. We did know that the border guards might have communicated with one another but we had to take that chance. So we proceeded east in Washington state to the next crossing and the guard seeing that we had a British Columbia truck suspected that we were living in Canada illegally, instead of vacationing and refused us entry. We were starting to freak over this. We went into the nearest town to the border and started to inquire from anyone we thought might know, how we might get across the border unnoticed. We knew this was dangerous but felt between a rock and a hard place. One fellow told us of people who have crossed at a ranch. Sometimes there are dirt roads and we might have to cut a wire fence. We considered doing that but we decided before going that far, we might try one more border entrance. Well, somehow this next border guard let us through. We figured that perhaps their communication link broke down and this guard was not so conscientious. I recall driving north in Canada at the Penticton crossing, wondering if some Mounties would be in our pursuit. We made it back to our cabin and from that point on wondered if someday we’d be apprehended. It was months before those Mounties pulled us over. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Mounties put out the watch for us based on our truck and appearance and license plate. We did not have an address though we did get our mail general delivery at the Clearwater post office which we did check when we came into town. They could have learned we were in town from that.

I was taken to a jail in Kamloops, a town of about 50,000 people. It was a difficult experience because at the time I had a toothache and they would not give me any pain relievers as they were afraid I was a drug user. The only way I could get momentary relief was by swishing cold water on the tooth. So I ended up pacing the cell day and night. A few days later I was given a hearing. I had no lawyer and no case so it was just a matter of time until I would be transported south. I remember when Tara showed up at jail and she saw me in my jail clothes, she cried. She had our stuff, all except for our beautiful wood cook stove that no one could help her with. Other friends did help her but they couldn’t fit the stove. A few days later I was headed south in a jail bus. We were on the road and because I was drinking so much water to keep my toothache at bay, I had a full bladder. I yelled out that I needed to relieve myself and I was ignored. I waited a bit and said it again and again nothing. The third time I yelled out that if he didn’t stop soon I was going to pee on the floor rather than damage my bladder. He said, hold off, we’d be at a stop momentarily. We stopped at the next town where they had a jail and I could be safely let it to relieve myself.

CRYING AT THE BORDER

We arrived at the border and I was let loose to walk over to the American side. It was Washington state. Tara was already there with the truck. We both went in side to US customs – a small office manned by one or two officials. I remember how we both cried at being extricated from a place we had grown to love. The border guard was actually sympathetic and comforting. Nonetheless, we headed south towards Yakima, Washington. We had $50 left to our names.

We had decided to head to the west coast of Oregon, where I thought perhaps I could get fishing work. I was raised a fisher. My dad, uncle and granddad, the Czech side of the family were fishers and would take myself and my cousin out fishing weekends. We caught flounders, blowfish, fluke, crabs, eel and whatnot. I have this image of boiling crabs at home followed by my mom sitting for hours picking crab meat out of shells leaving a mountain of shells. I did my fair share of gutting and cleaning of fish as well.

JESUS FREAKS TAKE US IN

When we got to Yakima, we heard a clunk from the engine area and as it ended up, we lost our highest 3rd gear, so we were stranded.

We were looking for someone to help us in Yakima and saw this man walking, a tall bearded man. He actually approached us and asked if he could help us. His name was Ted. He was part of a small group of what might be called Jesus freaks of the day. They were an independent from any formal church group type of group. They took us in to their home, where perhaps three couples lived. Ted was a talented guy and a mechanic and fixed our truck. It needed a new transmission. He located it and personally installed it and didn’t even take our $50. We were there for about two weeks at which time we shared in their work and needs and their worship services. They had music in their services so I participated in that. I also did a great deal of debating scripture with them. From reading scripture a great deal I was aware of certain hypocrisies, at least that’s what I called them. I would bring them up and debate them with them. They send us off with a fixed truck, not one iota poorer than when we came. They were often helping anyone and everyone in the community. These were people truly trying to serve God in the Jesus fashion as best they could. A year or so later, Tara and I returned to Yakima to pick fruit for a season and looked up Ted and his wife, whose name escapes me now. We found them and had a good meeting.

ARRIVED IN NEWPORT, OREGON FLAT BROKE AND OUT OF GAS

Well, we landed in Newport, Oregon and the gas tank was reading empty and the $50 was gone. We sat in the truck looking out over a pacific ocean sunset. I thought, lets find a place to stay for the night. We went into town, a town of 5000 people and about the only places that were open were the bars. That’s where we met Zanadu and he was certainly a character. Tall, dark and handsome but in the Charles Manson sort of way. He had a very low raspy voice, but he gave us a place to sleep, it just happened to be someone else’s bed who was not home at the moment. A couple days later when she returned she was fuming that we’d slept in her bed and in fact I was not happy about it either after I took a look at her. Oh, well, we were not that clean cut either. As it turned out, Zanadu was in the midst of opening a junk shop, three storefronts down the street from this pub where we met. He was collecting anything he could sell and he was certainly a wheeler dealer personality. So we helped him clean up the store and do some painting and then we put some of our leather goods in a showcase he had. We had leftover leather from Canada. We ended up putting handbags and such in a nice new age type store in Newport as well and we sold some stuff. Through Zanadu we met Robert. Robert was the owner of Zanadu’s house. Robert was a Brooklyn transplant who had purchased a bunch of old and in disrepair ocean view homes right in town and he rented them to anyone who could pay which ended up being fishermen, hippies and transients. It wasn’t a dishonest lot, just a poor one. Since we were NY’ers we got along well with Robert and he introduced us to Ron and Judy. Ron, another Brooklyn transplant had moved out to southern Oregon in the 60’s and lived in a real hippy farm commune. He had also begged the spiritual path of treks to India, where he got sick and was taken in by locals and healed and expected to marry the community heads daughter, a story right out of Kipling or someone like that. Judy was Ron’s partner, a young girl of perhaps 19 or 20 who had two children from another man, a four year old named Jenny and a 1 yr. old named Noah. Ron thought of these kids as his own. They had a great little apartment in Newport immediately on an ocean cliff living above some older hippy astrologers. Newport, as it turned out was a hippy haven in 1972. Tara and I met all sorts of characters and I began playing music with various fellows. I was gigging for beer at one dock side pub and that woman whose bed we borrowed was drunk as a skunk one night and tried to give me one heck of a sloppy kiss, which I narrowly escaped, thank God. I never did take to drunk women or casual sex though the idea of it had it’s draw – just not something I could really dive into.

I took a job making outdoor furniture with a pornography buff. I didn’t know this on the outset, until one day he invited me and the other employee to his house after work. I wasn’t interested. Besides my infatuation with the female body, porn seemed deplorable, though I guess it’s all about the same thing, sex, something I still had an hefty appetite for, though Tara’s was waning.

LIVING ON THE SILETZ INDIAN RESERVATION

We rented a house in  Siletz, Oregon, actually on the Siletz Indian reservation along with some roommates, two single girls, Michelle and Patty and their part time boyfriends. Kent, Michelle boy friend was a great kind of guy. We got along well. He played dulcimer and I played flute with him and we would travel around playing here and there. One time we walked into a field of high grass and sat down and began to play. It was a crazy house and Tara’s sister Cara, having graduated high school came out from New York to live with us. I had started to smoke a little pot again. Those two brooklynites influenced me. I held off for a while but in the music scene it enhanced emotion so served to accentuate our performances, or so we thought. But more so it was because Ron and I loved to talk philosophy and spirituality. Tara didn’t approve of my pot smoking and especially when I used $30 from the $1000 she borrowed from her Dad, much of which went into the first/last months rent on the house. The house was wild but not in a druggy or sexy way, just wild with youth and music. I remember being perfectly straight and crawling around the floor barking like a dog chasing after whoever. I guess my past drug use had fried my brain.

FRESH PICKED PSYLLISYBIN MUSHROOMS

One day Tara and I picked our own psilocybin mushrooms that grew wild all over the cow pastures in that Oregon coastal rain forest environment. We each ate about 20 and wow was it gross. They tasted bad, bad, bad and they were so chewy, chewy, chewy. We both got sick, sick, sick and heaved ho, wrenched our guts, but afterwards were in la la land for hours. I would never do that again and neither would she. What was strange was that Tara seemed to want to do it more than I. I had experienced the “trip” many times before and can’t say it was always pleasant, but she was virtually untainted by the alter consciousness. In fact, she seemed to be a natural trip. One time, when she was perfectly straight, she said she saw two beings on a ridgeline not too far distant. I asked for more information and she just said they were there. It wasn’t something she thought she saw out of the corner of her eye or something she was imagining. She thought she saw them. I saw nothing of the sort, no place, no how.

Well nearing winters end, my job ended and so did keeping the house because my boss stopped paying me. It was strange that the next time I saw my coworker he had a bandage on his hand. He had cut off a finger on a saw. While I was working there, I always thought he was a little too confident. The boss had taken a liking to him so he got to do more of the sawing and I did more of the sanding. I guess sometimes what seems like the lessor position might turn out to be the better one. So, we had a little money left so decided we were sort of stagnant in the Newport area.

SUMMER MIGRANT WORKER IN THE FRUIT ORCHARDS

We decided to hitchhike to Yakima, Washington and Hood River, Oregon to pick fruit for the season, which is where we reunited with Ted the generous hearted Jesus enthusiast and his wife, whose name slips my mind. The truck was just too costly to drive. While camping in the apple orchard, Tara tells me she wants to visit our Canadian friends Linda and Alde in British Columbia. I was against it as we didn’t have transportation. I couldn’t go as I thought I’d be turned away at the border due to my deportation. She went anyway and my heart broke. We had not been apart for even a day in four years. It was the beginning of her independence though. She hitchhiked up there alone. Alde was a handsome guy we’d met in Canada who Tara was somewhat infatuated with, or so it seemed while we lived up there. They stuck to tickle fights as strange as that sounds, at least as far as I knew but I knew there could be some fire there so I was a little jealous and that was part of the reason I didn’t want her to go. She also got into those tickle fights with Dave the woodsman which was also strange. I recall in our Canada cabin, Dave and Joan would come over for tea and cookies. There wasn’t any TV or anything much to do but read and talk. Tara and Dave would start tickling and Joan and I would just look at each other as if to say…what’s this about…are we supposed to be getting it on too, which neither of us really felt inclined to. However the main reasons I was upset by Tara’s trek north without me were her safety and yes, my loneliness or feeling rejected. Alde had been down to the states to visit us once since we left Canada and he and I were good friends so I trusted him. I recall sitting in my tent in the orchard at night alone and weepy. I couldn’t even play the flute. I just did not have the energy, the breath nor desire to create music. I was unhappy because I felt this was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I learned later that more stages were yet to come. I was no angel with other women though I never went beyond lusting in my head. I even had some chances but never took them. The reasons were two fold. I was shy and didn’t want to hurt Tara.

TARA AND I HAVE A FIRST PARTING

So she went to Canada and came back three or four days later and had little to say of her experience and I didn’t ask much either. Upon returning to Newport, we took another job picking holly, you know that Christmas mistletoe stuff with sharp pointy leaves.

With the little money we earned we took a trek around Oregon for a new place to live. We went all the way east to Bend, Oregon, then south to Crater Lake area and back up through Eugene and could find nothing we could afford but we sure burned our budget down to the end. So we went back to Newport and were turned on to a place to stay for $30/month. It was a big, broken down trailer in the woods close to Waldport, Oregon maybe 15 miles or so south of Newport. We moved our stuff and decided to spend the rest of the cold wet winter in the south, so once again we stuck out the thumbs. We made our way to San Diego where Patty our Siletz roommate had moved and she put us up. It was great down there in the sun. We even applied for public assistance with San Diego and they put us on a work program. I drove around on a truck picking up trash for 3 days and in return got about $100 and some food stamps. We didn’t need much. I have several distinct memories from that time. One is when I was at an airport, perhaps picking up trash as part of that job. I was approached by a Hare Krishna person. We talked and he ended up giving me a copy of the Bhagavad Gita. It was a 6 inch thick large book. Another was while waiting for public assistance a Jesus freak began a debate with me and I felt like I held my own quite well in his bible backed language as I was no stranger to the bible. In the end he blessed me but said Tara was the devil keeping me from God. I recall hitchhiking east from San Diego to Lake Havasu City, Arizona and this guy picked us up and said he was a preacher and that the Lord told him to pick us up. He said, whenever the spirit moves him, he gets goose bumps all over his arms and that happened to him when he saw us standing on the side of the road. I remember getting into Arizona and being broke and hungry and going to a church to ask for help and they gave us a voucher for some food. We went to Lake Havasu, again looking for opportunity, but also because my folks had just purchased a condo there. We stayed in it though it had no lights or A/C or furniture. It was not a good time. We returned to San Diego and met up with my sister who had just enlisted into the Navy, at my mother’s suggestion. She was stationed at Coronado Island. We hadn’t seen each other for some years, so it was great. She was grown up. I later learned that was the height of her party life in the Navy and where she met her husband who she became pregnant by and who then abandoned her.

So with no luck finding anything we were inclined to become a part of in California we hitched back north. On the way back, along highway 1, the Pacific coast highway, we hit a glitch. A policeman arrested me for hitchhiking as I was the one sticking out my thumb. What infuriated me was that he took me away in the patrol car and left Tara there alone to get home by…yes, by thumb as it was in the middle of nowhere and we were still virtually broke. We didn’t hitchhike for the fun of it. I spent the night in a local California jail. The next day we drove north a bit and I stayed the night in another jail. The next day they took me to Portland, OR where I was in general lock up. The next day I was arraigned. I was to pay a fine of near $300 I believe. I told the judge I had no money and no way to pay so he said I could spend 3 more days in jail instead of paying the fine, which is what I did. Tara made it home okay and she with some friends picked me up at the Portland jail. By the way there were no signs against hitchhiking, as there are on many freeways in the west. It wasn’t on the freeway. It was on the Pacific coast highway. It was ridiculous but they had the power over me so I went along.

To add difficulty to our situation, when we returned to our trailer, we saw that we had been robbed. My nice conga drums were gone and some other stuff. It ended up it was the young son of the landlord and I got the drums back and some other stuff but not all of it. I guess it was a karmic payback for my petty thievery which for whatever it was worth was never against a person with the exception of some cigarette from the person I was babysitting for and that was less than a pack. I stole from organizations. I’m not really justifying it. It was wrong. It was interesting though that even though these prize possessions of mine were taken, I was not angry with the robber, just like I was not angry with Hobbit in trying to steal my for all intents and purposes my wife. I did not try to press charges or anything. I just wanted my drums back so I could continue in the band.

ACCELLERATED NEW AGE SPIRITUALITY

It was about this time that we started to get more spiritual. We began participating in various meditation groups around Newport. At one meeting, I was outside and the group said they saw a huge light in the room. Then for several times we danced with the Sufis. One other occasions we meditated on the picture of an ascended master, in this case Sri Chinmoy. A fellow musician who I played with sometimes and who was an exceptional guitarist was a strong devotee. Meanwhile every night I was reading the Bhagavad Gita while Tara embroidered and did whatnot. I continued practicing the flute and was getting better fairly fast.

THE BEGINNING OF MY FIRST GIGGING BAND – CATHARSIS

It was about this time that we met Paul, a good rhythm guitarist with a great look, a fine voice, a romantic style and manner and not bloated with success. He and I became a number in the sense that I was a good percussionist, harmonica player and I had just began playing flute. Mainly he needed percussion. We attracted a good lead guitarist named Dave who could duplicate every Dylan song he ever did. We didn’t do Dylan in our act though as our repertoire was all Paul’s original love songs in a Trinidad rhythm which I was fairly adept at maintaining percussively. Paul was of Trinidad decent. And then we added an upright bass player. We had a band and called it Catharsis I believe. We gigged wherever we could. We played at Canyon West in Newport. It was a combo Heath Food Store, Natural Food Restaurant/Bakery, New Age Bookstore under one large roof and in the middle was seating against a large stage. This is where I first felt the ego of a performer. I would gloat a bit I admit while setting up. I was proud of our music. When we first got together we were in The Dalles near Hood River, Oregon visiting friends. Actually we were seriously considering moving there to homestead on some raw land. We scoped out a site along with three other couples. While in Hood River one night we started playing music on the street, that is until the police told us to move along. But it was at our friends house that I got two things. First, it is where I had my ear pierced. Some girl who said she had done it before volunteered and put some ice on my lobe and then ground her way though my ear lobe with a pin. The ice numbness never really did take and wore off. She kept going and going and was admittedly having trouble with my earlobe. Finally she got through and I immediately passed out. If you recall I passed out easily from any trauma. Not a very tough guy I guess. I awoke a joker as usual though. That night the band first got together electrically and with a full drum set that I played in addition to the Congas. It was pure magic. Yes, we smoked some weed but the music really flowed. There were slow melodys that were heavenly with light cymbal work just in the right places and there were toe taping Latin sounding rhythms with sensitive lead guitar and bass work. We knew we had a great sound. We didn’t homestead there. It was just too dry to try to live there and build there though there was a decent site in a gorge by a creek, just not much access by road.

Paul as it turned out was making his living as a painter – a house painter that is so he hired me as a helper and it was fun and we played music all the time. We played for meals at nice trendy Newport restaurants. We played at a fair in a neighboring town. We played for slide shows. There was a local photographer that had just returned from Alaska. So he showed the slides and we played the music during the presentation and it was advertised and attracted maybe a hundred people and we were a successful band, at least for small time potatoes. I don’t recall our pay. I know it wasn’t much. On the side I played for a good Belly Dancer and her flute playing boyfriend. We did several demos for the Newport community. They generated a couple hundred people. I was considered a very good improvisational percussionist. I didn’t have to practice much with whoever I was playing with. I seemed to be able to stop and the right places and change at the right places and get fast and loud or slow and quiet at the right places and perhaps my biggest asset was an ability to stop on a dime to make really professional finishes. I also played for an African Dance Class. Nothing paid big dollars but it was something.

TARA HAS A BRIEF AFFAIR – MY HEART BROKE

But my music had some problems associated. I would always be on stage playing or practicing and Tara wasn’t really involved. At shows she’d be near or dancing and she was a good dancer and rather attractive with her dark Turkish look with long, long thick black hair nearly down to her knees that she’d wave around like a flag while wearing colorful long skirts. So she attracted men and one became her dance partner and soon became more than that. I was troubled by that, in fact devastated when I was out of the picture. I recall walking the highway talking out loud to whatever or whoever might hear me, angry but sad. I certainly had a jealous streak but not so much so that I kept a rein on her. I wasn’t that angry with Hobbit, as he called himself. He was an elf of a guy, cute I suppose, and he seemed to always be tripped out more than just on weed. He was likable and he loved the ladies and was a sweet lure. After a week in the doldrums I accepted her choice and decided it wasn’t going to rule my life. Shortly after my acceptance of her new relationship Hobbit dumped her, as she said, and she came running back to me. I forgave her and we moved on, but I knew we’d changed. We were no longer the naïve lovers we started out as. We’d been though a lot. I guess we both grew up some.

It was about this time, that we decided on a new direction. Robert, the fellow who owned all those houses in Newport also owned a 10 acre parcel of land in Waldport, Oregon, 20 or so miles south of Newport. This was his home, an A frame he built some years prior. We had become close to him and Ron and Judy so he invited us to build a house on his property and to live there. It sounded good to us. We had already been involved in expanding and tending a big vegetable garden there. So we located a spot, down in a gully, near a creek and built a lean to that we camped in while I began building our house. I planned to build a Tee Pee shaped house out of logs. I found the trees I could use on his property and cut them down, stripped them of bark, let them dry a little and then treated them with creosote. While they were drying, which wouldn’t have really been enough time to stop their checking, I built the foundation. I used cinder blocks. Robert had an account with the Waldport hardware store that he allowed me to use. He also had some old lumber and windows he donated to our project. I ran logs from one cider block post to the other, notching them together. I knew a little about what I was doing from my study of log cabin building before our move to British Columbia and I was handy with a chain saw and axe, the main tools I would use. Next I sank a middle pole into concrete into the ground and attached a carved star to the top. I ran the prepared logs from the foundation joists to this crown to form the skeleton of the structure. Next I laid floor joists to the middle pole and put down a crude floor that I layered. Then I framed the sides bringing them out as bay windows and then built a loft floor.

COMPELLED TO HITCHIKE BACK TO NEW YORK TO SEE FAMILY

For some reason I, at this time felt compelled to visit my family back east. Tara was not really in approval of it. We had a long history of contention on my relationship with my mother. I think it must have stemmed from the fact that when she was 15 she lost her mother in a terrible accident. Her mother was hospitalized for pneumonia and was medicated to assist with sleeping but apparently the rails on her bed were not put up one night and she rolled off the bed and hit her head, went into a comma and died a short time later. I can only imagine how that would hurt and affect one for their entire life. Maybe I’m wrong about this reason for Tara’s objections at my desire for contact with my mother. Perhaps it was also because my mother was always on my case about not calling them more often. I was not great on that score and frequently it was about cost. Long distance charges in the early 70’s were not cheap and especially for us as at times we were well below any poverty statistics. I called collect at times. Whenever I did, I got yelled at for not calling more. I wrote infrequently. I guess I was an insensitive kid who was out gallivanting but it was not really new to my mother. When I left for college, I already had quite the estranged relationship with my folks. I loved them but as I rebelled so from their parenting style so I could do what I wanted to do and went far afield from what to them would have been a good kid they could be proud of. Nearly flunking out of high school, and drug usage, lying, stealing, Hitchhiking all over the place, then shacking up with a Jewish girl (though my parents certainly liked Tara), then to move to a distant part of the globe, getting deported and living a hippy life so to speak were not considered favorable ways to be living. I basically fought against my parents wishes by tooth and nail and not being in more regular communication was really just par for the course. So when I would bring up to Tara that I wanted to call them, she generally objected and we’d argue about it, bringing up how I didn’t want to get married without consulting my mother all over again. But Tara agreed to take the trip back east with me and lacking funds and considering our truck was in disrepair we decided to hitchhike and this time we would travel a northern U.S. route. This was our first trip back east. It was an uneventful trip that took about a week. I remember getting to my parents house fairly late and night and as the door was locked I tapped on my little brother’s window. He was now about 14 years old and wow was he excited. We stayed up all night telling the stories of our Canadian wilderness adventure and life in Oregon. We stayed around for about a week. I remember talking to my brother and sister, who must have been home on leave from the Navy about spirits and reincarnation and how I came to believe in both. I am noting this because I felt like I had a real sense of the existence of spirit. It seemed more real to me than what we only read about and wondered about. While in my home town I remember, my mom and dad had sold a car for me, one I left behind years back. They decided to give me my share of the money, a little over $200 bucks. I took it and bought a new flute. I had been using a nickel plated student model and now I was getting a brand new silver plated student model. While home on Long Island I visited with an old boyhood friend, Ron, who was now a professional drummer working the upstate New York clubs. He was teaching drums also and just so happened had a drum set a student was upgrading from, so he offered it to me for nothing or next to nothing. We shipped them to Oregon. We spent time with most of my extended family. We also spent plenty of time with Tara’s family. They liked me in general, that is her dad, stepmom and Uncle. The rest of the family didn’t like that I was a Catholic. They made that known during several family gatherings. They were outright nasty with things they would say but I was the guy their Tara had chose so what could they do.

Tara was quite independent minded. Tara’s uncle wanted her to visit her grandmother and didn’t want her hitchhiking so he bought us a bus ticket to Florida that would continue on to our new home in Oregon. It was about August of 1975 when we returned home and we were greeted by big warm smiles from Robert, Ron and Judy who were hard at work in the garden.

BEGINNING OF A NEW PHASE – A COMMUNE

Times were fairly good. We had a place to lay our heads building this new house. My band was regularly playing and I was making a little money at it. We would hitchhike to Newport and back frequently for music and a social life and for occasional work. Cara by the way had been living with a guy she met there. We would see her frequently around town. She had her own truck, somewhat like ours and seemed quite content with her life which didn’t cross paths with us much. Her dad sent her money now and again.

But our lives were about to really change in the most dramatic way I suppose it could have, short of something life threatening occurring, though this certainly was seen by our relatives as that traumatic.

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

Chapter Two – First Contact with Bo and Peep’s H.I.M – Human Individual Metamorphosis

It was in Newport, Oregon, a small north-western U.S. coastal fishing town where I was first introduced to the group via a posted meeting announcement. It was September of 1975, just a month after the 17th of August when I turned 24 years old. Tara and I had just spent the night at Paul’s place. I was the percussionist/drummer, harmonica and flute player in Paul’s band. We had had a jam session that as usual extended into the wee hours. Tara and I had been living together for over five years by then. We both grew up in the same town on Long Island in New York, a suburb of Manhattan where I was born. We met a year or so after graduating from different high schools and through quite a twisty turn of events that took us hitchhiking all over Canada, the U.S. and briefly into Mexico for over 10,000 miles ended up in Newport. We lived in Waldport, just 20 minutes by car south on the Pacific coast highway. It often took us longer to make the trek to Newport as we frequently traveled by thumb. In this case our 1949 GMC pickup truck, we’d bought in Canada some 3 years before for $350 was temporarily out of commission. The last time we drove it home to Waldport, it’s driver side wheel came off while driving 55 mph and we skidded on the wheel drum until it would operate no more. I somehow got the wheel back on and thumped it the last few miles home.

On this somewhat clear morning, with little sleep under our belts we stumbled out of Paul’s house, one of many old houses populated by hippies and fishers. We were not wild partiers. Tara never drank alcohol and only rarely tried smoking pot. Her personality was naturally high. On the only occasion where she partook of the dreaded illegal plant she nearly scared me to death and from just one little toke on the pipe. It was actually one of my prime introductions to the “unseen” world, setting the stage for future belief.

One night in about 1970 Tara and I were watching TV together, kind of cuddling like some lovers do and she decided she would try marijuana for the first time. I had been a pot/acid head for several years prior. Anyway, so we smoked one hit each. In minutes she was hallucinating with closed eyes that we were on Noah’s Ark and she was describing in detail the animals and all as if she was seeing it in her head in Technicolor. Scared me big time and I was trying to calm her down, afraid she was going to flip out as she was relating what she saw in a shocked kind of way. It wasn’t pot laced with anything as that was not done back then. I don’t know how or when it started but all I can recall is feeling fear. We were clutching one another like you’d see in Hollywood and I couldn’t keep from looking at her bedroom door that went to the hallway of the big house she lived in with her dad and stepmom. And the fear kept building for both of us. Now I did have many minor hallucinations while under the influence of other drugs like acid and mescaline in years earlier, but never felt this kind of paranoia from pot, not in the least. After some time, perhaps 10-15 minutes of feeling this fear – feeling like there was something on the other side of the door about to burst in, something evil, I was building the courage to go open the door because I also knew this was crazy – it had to be all in our minds. She didn’t tell me to be fearful of anything and we didn’t talk about it so somehow I was either being affected by her or something else. She also felt the fear and by then had stopped talking about Noah’s Arc. I sat up to go to the door, when all of a sudden the door burst open (we never locked it) and Tara’s younger sister of 14 came rushing into the room crying hysterically. She was an attractive physically developed young girl. She calmed down a bit and began to explain what had just happened. She said as she was walking home, a man stopped his car and somehow grabbed her and tried to physically pull her into the car but she broke loose and ran all the way home scared to death. Wow, was I shocked. I stopped smoking pot then and there. Besides dreams and feelings, that was my most concrete (non-substance induced) experience to demonstrate a reality beyond the obvious physical that had interface with the physical. Little did I know there were many more to come.

But coming out of the house, the ocean was as usual quite beautiful to see and feel. It was still a bit foggy as it is most mornings on the Pacific Northwest’s coast and less than fifty yards from the cliff perched beach house was a little general store. Just outside the store on a pole I noticed a poster and called Tara to come over and take a look. It read:

UFO’s

– Why they are here
– Who they have come for
– When they will leave.

Not a discussion of UFO sightings or phenomena

Two individuals say they were sent from the level above human, and are about to leave the human level and literally (physically) return to that next evolutionary level in a spacecraft (UFO) within months! “The Two” will discuss how the transition from the human level to the next level is accomplished, and when this may be done.

This is not a religious or philosophical organization recruiting membership. However, the information has already prompted many individuals to devote their total energy to the transitional process. If you have ever entertained the idea that there may be a real, PHYSICAL level beyond the Earth’s confines, you will want to attend this meeting. ************************

I remember reading it several times and commenting to Tara on the unusual content. “Two individuals say they were sent from the level above human”. “I’ve got to go to this just to see what these folks look like”, I recall saying to Tara with a curious but cautious tone. To date there were many groups I’d taken some interest in but none I felt like joining. She seemed equally interested and it became the main topic of conversation for the next few days prior to the Sunday afternoon meeting. Curiously the reference to UFO’s meant little to nothing to me. In fact a couple months or so before seeing this poster I didn’t know anything at all about UFO’s, that is except for science fiction TV shows or movies like the Jetsens, the Outer Limits and the Twilight Zone, fictitious stuff. But then there was one time while we were visiting our best friends Ron and Judy at their second story apartment on the same cliff where Paul lived and where we jammed. That evening Ron had the radio on and as Ron and I often partook of a little bud, that’s pot, I was a little spaced out, no pun intended, when I tuned into the radio part way into what to me sounded like a news cast. It was saying that a crashed disk had been found near Roswell and that it contained what were believed to be alien bodies. I perked up immediately and remembers exclaiming, “Did you all here that…there was a crashed disk and alien bodies found!!!”. Neither Ron, nor Judy nor Tara even looked at me with more than a glance and certainly said nothing about it. They were preparing dinner and Ron was watching the news on TV so perhaps they didn’t hear the radio that was on more for Judy in the kitchen though all sounds were evident in this tiny apartment.

However, unbeknown to me at the time my interest in what the poster said was also peaked for less obvious reasons. The part that stood out most, beside these two being from this “other place” was where it said how it had “already prompted many individuals to devote their total energy”. At the time, not knowing hardly anything about it, I hadn’t thought I wanted to do that, not even knowing what that entailed. I guess it did put a sense of urgency and seriousness on it that stood out among the myriad of spiritual movements that flooded the west coast environment in the early 70’s. Nothing of the dozen or so movements I was aware of ever spoke of giving one’s “total” energy. I know the fact that it mentioned returning via spacecraft to the next level in months didn’t affect me. I was not excited by the idea at all.

I remember talking to my closest friends about it and a number of them also planned to attend the meeting which was less than a week away and just so happens was to be held in a small restaurant on the coast just north of Waldport where I was in the process of participating with two other couples in a small startup commune. It was my friend Robert’s land upon which he had an A frame house. We had about 1/4 acre producing garden and I was down the ravine a bit building our own house. I had cut the trees down, prepared them and had begun my own T-Pee design made of large poles to a center pole on a cinder block and log foundation. It was about halfway constructed with lots of windows on each of it’s six sides forming the walls that squared off the bottom level, a floor, and a spiral staircase to the loft all made with either forest logs or salvaged materials. I had studied log cabin building a couple years before as Tara and I left Long Island hoping to homestead in British Columbia, Canada, part of that twisty trek to Oregon

Chapter Three – The Meeting – The Two

The meeting room in the restaurant was very full to standing room only, perhaps 200 people. There was a high stage area. Each participants chair had a legal size handout that was typewritten and filled the 8 1/2 x 14 inch page with hardly a margin.

This handout was the first statement of “The Two” as some called them, Bo and Peep to others, Guinea and Pig to still others, all names they used to introduce themselves. Their legal human names were not important to the content of the information they sought to deliver. Later they would take the names Ti and Do, (pronounced Tea and Doe – from the notes on the musical scale). This document was written in March of 1975 by Do (aka Bo and Guinea) while he was in jail for keeping a rental car longer than they had paid for. When the car they left Houston with broke down they rented another but quickly ran out of money to pay for it so periodically they wrote letters to the rental car company explaining that they had the car and fully intended to pay for it but didn’t have the money yet. In any case, they were apprehended for a completely unrelated reason which turned up that the rental car company had reported the car stolen. When Do got out of jail on a plea bargain for time served, at that time 6 months, they headed to a friend’s place in Ojai, California, where Peep(Ti) typed up what Bo(Do) wrote and sent out some ninety copies to every religious and spiritual leader they could think of.

The leader of a Los Angeles meditation group was on their list and was intrigued by their “Statement” so sent two of his students to meet with Bo and Peep to check them out and potentially invite them to speak to his group, which they did. Statement 1 read as follows:

Statement One

What religions have sought to understand since the beginning of their origin is what is above the human level of existence. Most have taught that if an individual lives a “good life” adoring some savior that he will inherit some “heaven” after his death. Only if it were that simple. That viewpoint is as inaccurate as the caterpillar believing that if he dies a good caterpillar he will mysteriously awaken in a rose blossom and live there forever with the King butterfly. He must become a butterfly while a healthy caterpillar – overcoming his decaying option.  If he rises above all caterpillar ways, converts all his energies to the pursuit of becoming literally another creature who circulates in another world, he becomes a butterfly. Likewise a human who seeks only to become a member of his next evolutionary kingdom may become a member of that kingdom if he completely overcomes all the aspects and influences of the human level providing he has found favor with a member of that next level who will direct him through his metamorphosis.  As the caterpillar, the human can complete this changeover only before his death as a human.  A member of the next kingdom finds favor with one who is willing to endure all of the necessary growing pains of weaning himself totally from his human condition. Members of that next kingdom are no more confined to human limitations than butterflies to caterpillar limitations.  Nor do they in like comparison concern themselves with human type indulgences or concerns.  However, if the human is thought of as the larva of that next kingdom then there are, at times, those who are approaching the completion of their individual metamorphosis and are beginning to have some of the attributes and characteristics of that next kingdom.  When the metamorphosis is complete their “perennial” and cyclic nature is ended for their “new” body has overcome decay, disease and death.  It has converted over chemically, biologically, and in vibration to the “new” creature. Approximately 2,000 years ago an individual of that next kingdom forfeited his body of that kingdom and entered a human female’s womb, thereby incarnating as the one history refers to as Jesus of Nazareth.  He awakened to this fact gradually through the same metamorphic process and came to know that he had incarnated for the express purpose of telling and showing, even to the point of proof, that the next kingdom can be entered by overcoming the human aspects and literally converting into a “man” or creature of that next kingdom – the kingdom of his Father – one who is already a member of that kingdom.  By His resurrection He proved that death can be literally overcome and that a permanent body for the next kingdom is acquired from the human kingdom. He did not leave His body in the grave.  He converted it into His body of that next kingdom. This is the only way the next kingdom is entered permanently. Each human has that full potential.  Jesus’ “Christing” or christening was completed at His transfiguration (metamorphic completion) and He remained in the “larva” environment, with other humans, only for some 40 days to show that His teaching had been accomplished.  He showed them His new body and demonstrated a few of its new attributes, i.e., appearing and disappearing (changing His vibrations) before their eyes while letting some of His friends touch His “new” body.  This could be compared to a butterfly remaining in the caterpillar world for a few days to show them what they had to look forward to if they chose to seek true conscious communication with a butterfly and were willing to overcome all of their caterpillar ways.  Then Jesus left them in a cloud of light (what humans refer to as UFO’s) and moves and returns in the same manner.

There are two individuals here now who have also come from that next kingdom, incarnate as humans, awakened, and will soon demonstrate the same proof of overcoming death.  They are “sent” from that kingdom by the “Father” to bear the same truth that was Jesus’.  This is like a repeat performance, except this time by two (a man and a woman) to restate the truth Jesus bore, restore its accurate meaning, and again show that any individual who seeks that kingdom will find it through the same process.  This “re-statement” or demonstration will happen within months.  The two who are the “actors” in this “theatre” are in the meantime doing all they can to relate this truth as accurately as possible so that when their bodies recover from their “dead” state (resurrection) and they leave (UFO’s) those left behind will have clearly understood the formula.

Those who can believe this process and do it will be “lifted up” individually and “saved” from death – literally.  If you seek those two while they are here they will gladly fill you in on the details and assist those who wish to follow in this “path.”

If this speaks to you – respond – according to your capabilities or needs.  For your sake – give this opportunity your best.

End of Statement 1

I read the document rather quickly and took particular interest to it’s references to Jesus. Everything made sense to me but I wanted to see these two. What did they look like – two people who say they are from this “other” level somewhere in outer space.

They walked out onto the stage and looked ordinary. They took seats and just sat quietly looking out onto the audience without expression. One was a woman and one a man, both in their 40’s. They looked normal. I saw nothing about them that looked unusual. They both wore greenish windbreakers and in that they did resemble one another. They both had what I would call butch haircuts slightly over the ears on the sides. As they sat silently, I recall thinking, what are they waiting for? Some minutes passed.

Bo then began to speak about a “light” that has come close to our planet Earth that bears an opportunity for a very brief time. They said they were representatives from the Next Level incarnate to offer membership in that Kingdom. They said it was a physical kingdom with many members and that this was the way new members were born into that kingdom, by overcoming their human attachments when Next Level reps were present who would guide them through the overcoming process. They talked about the content of the Statement I’d just read but hardly digested so it all sounded new to me. Bo got to a point where he said the “process” of transition from human to membership in this Next Evolutionary Level Above Human, what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven was a kind of metamorphosis just like what we see in a caterpillar moving into the Butterfly world. The caterpillar must all but cease being a caterpillar to allow for all it’s energy to be used to create it’s wings – a new body that is no longer limited in the ways of the old one. He explained that it was the same for a human. When the opportunity presents itself by the incarnate presence of members from that Kingdom Level a human can choose to leave life as they know it to engage in their own metamorphosis. This amounts to walking out the door of one’s entire life to devout all their energies to this process full time. He reiterated that they were here now to help those who wanted their help. He stated that in practical terms it meant no longer engaging in relationships, marriages, sex, business, schooling, entertainment or family. He said that this opportunity was not open to children because they could not decide on their own yet and parents can not in this case rightfully decide for them.

At this point I heard a loud voice from the back of the room, “You ought to be shot” a woman shouted, and it’s about then that I noticed that the air around these two was hazy. They had two spot lights on them on the stage and it was lighter than the rest of the rather dark room but then I turned my head and noticed this same haze hanging throughout the middle of the room and it had a shimmering motion to it. I didn’t think it was smoke. I smelled no smoke and I was once a smoker so was quite sensitive to the smell. If it was smoke there was a lot of it but it didn’t act like smoke. It wasn’t as dense.

The air in the room was certainly tense with so many different people there listening to this plain Jane presentation of hard to believe material though for me it seemed to make total sense. There was no hell fire and brimstone, no saying anyone must do this, no pressure saying if you don’t you’ll burn in hell, no glamorous presentation, no paraphernalia as is so common with virtually every religious denomination and it was so simple. They never asked for money or had any books to sell.

Then Bo said, if anyone has any questions they can stay after and that there were some in the audience that have decided to make this their total effort who could help you with your questions.

I looked at Tara and she at me and we both had grins on our faces and knew this was what we wanted.

On the same row we sat in there were two of the group’s members Bo spoke of. They introduced themselves as Logan and Sooner – a very tall grey haired man in his late 40’s and a younger woman. We said we wanted to join so they told us to put our lives in order but try not to take more than 2-3 days to do so as they were on the move and there would be no way to find them if we did not make the agreed upon rendezvous where they would tell us where to go next. They also said the longer we take the more difficult it could be to take this step, as forces in the world would attempt to keep you from doing so. They explained that they were traveling and camping so we could bring with us anything that would be helpful to include camping gear, automobiles and of course funds. There was no minimum – everyone was sharing what they had. They gave us a park location and time to be in Eugene, Oregon which was just a couple hours from Waldport.

That’s when the Earth shook, not literally, but in our lives and the lives of those we had formed relationships. I remember going around to all of our friends to tell them what we experienced and what we were about to do. Most just listened but had little to say. Ron and Judy had also decided to join as did Robert who owned the land we were homesteading on. And Greg a fine musician I used to play with occasionally was joining also.

I remember telling everyone that I felt like I was sitting in front of the equivalent of Jesus. They didn’t say either of them was Jesus, just that they came from the same place Jesus came from and had the same information of how to make the transition to the Next Level – aka Kingdom of Heaven, not a place we attain to automatically after we die if we’ve lived a good life. No one knew me as a Jesus freak or even a Christian. I also felt my life passed before my eyes and everything seemed geared to that moment like this was my fate or destiny.

Chapter Four – Leaving my life behind to give my all to the metamorphic process

Tara and I knew we’d be splitting up. Just a few months earlier we had just such a preview. We broke up for a week or so which was very traumatic for me for most of that time yet I pulled through it and began to move on but as it turned out we got back together. This was different – it was a mutual breakup as we both seemed full steam ahead in this new direction not hardly aware of just how bizarre it was for virtually everyone else we knew.

One of the first people we told was Tara’s younger sister, Clara who was just 19 by then. Clara came out from New York to live with us over a year earlier, as soon as she graduated high school. After living with us for some six months in a house we rented on the Siletz Indian reservation, near Newport, she met a local guy and before too long was living with him and we hardly saw her.

Clara freaked out at the news or our joining and pending indefinite departure. It was understandable of course. Though she was living on her own, had a job and a truck and a steady boyfriend and lived separate from us, she still wanted to be close to her sister. They had been very close ever since their mother died from a freak accident in the hospital where she was being treated for pneumonia and was given a sedative to sleep and the attendants did not put up the bed rails. She fell out of bed and hit her head, went into a coma and died. Tara was 16. Clara was 11. I wish I could say I was sensitive to Clara’s feelings. I was not. I was more selfish than I ever had been before it seemed.

As we exited the meeting we ran into our two best friends, Ron and Judy. They were also planning on joining. We had just visited them in their seaside second floor apartment to talk about going to our Eugene rendezvous together, just a couple days away. When we got downstairs we were met at the door by Clara and two police officers. Clara had gone to the police to try to stop us. She knew Ron and Judy were also leaving and she knew Judy had two children – a girl whose name escapes me, who was perhaps four and a 1 1/2 yr. old boy named Noah. Ron was not their father. Judy had been separated from their dad for over a year or two by then. They were living together as a happy family. Ron loved the kids and acted as their father, but they too were taken by Bo and Peep’s message, so Judy was talking with her X about taking the kids for a while so they could check this out. He had agreed, I understood. The police said to me that Clara had reported to them that some children were about to be abandoned. I denied any such knowledge which made Clara furious. Tara said nothing. The police left and Clara stayed back and there was a great deal of yelling and crying between Clara and Tara. When Clara saw Tara’s resolve she threatened to drive her truck over the cliff. We didn’t take her seriously.

The next day Tara’s dad, uncle and grandmother flew out from New York at Clara’s behest to try to talk her out of this wild idea. We met with them including Clara in their motel and again there was discussion and lots of tears and some yelling, exhaustion and it ended with frustration. I said little. They all liked me, but then I was this Catholic while Tara was a Jew, so all the talk of Jesus pointed to my influence over Tara. I don’t recall in the five years Tara and I lived together that I ever talked with her about Jesus. I knew that she believed in who Jesus was but that was about it.

The next morning Tara and I looked at one another and knew we could wait no longer. We needed to leave town immediately or else who knows what might have happened to try to stop us. We had actually tied up our loose ends as instructed.

I did not have much in terms of possessions, a truck and some instruments I played – flute, harmonica, Conga drums and a drum set. I’d been in a band with Paul that simply formed when I met him a year or so before. He was such a tall, dark and handsome, charismatic, romantic singer and played a lovely finger picking styled custom made acoustic guitar. His Mom was from Trinidad. Paul had a natural flare for rhythm when he played and we were an instant fit as percussion was my first love, besides Tara that is. We were joined by Dave on lead guitar – an excellent player who knew and performed every Bob Dylan song that existed, though our band was strictly Paul’s originals. And we had a stand up bassist. Just a week earlier we were all together looking to buy a PA. We had gigs most weekends, often in one of several restaurants where we’d be paid with great gourmet meals. The most fun we had was playing for a slide show. A successful Newport photographer had just returned from Alaska and was putting on a show of his slides from his trip. Catharsis, the name of our band played for the show. It drew over a hundred people. That was the closest I ever got to my dream music gig of playing a score for a movie. Greg, another musician friend of mine was also joining the group, the H.I.M group that is. He was a very fine woodwind player of all kinds but wasn’t in our band. He was at another level – a jazz player – we were Latin slanted folk rock – not an easy mix so we never invited him to join us and he didn’t seem interested in us either. Greg and I went to Portland to try to sell our instruments. I couldn’t believe he sold what he did – an oboe, soprano sax, an alto sax and a flute. I gave away one flute to Clara and brought my other one with me thinking I could sell it on the road. The band was not at all happy when I told them I was going off with this group. None of them felt so inclined – none were at the meeting and by the way I did not attempt to recruit anyone to join us. That was the farthest thing from my mind.

As it turned out, Ron and Judy were also ready to go. Their kids were now with their dad in Lincoln City an hour north of Newport. Greg also joined with us and so did another good friend, Rob. None of us were Christians by the way. In fact Ron and Robert were New York, Brooklyn Jews who were a few years older than I and who had been on the west coast in communes some years before we arrived there. Ron had traveled throughout India and at one point fell very ill and was nursed back to health by a village leader who wanted him to marry his daughter, like out of some Kipling movie. Rob signed away his 5 acre property to a friend which included the A frame house he built himself. He had become quite a landlord in his years in Newport/Waldport. He owned perhaps 8-9 houses in Newport that he rented out to hippies and fishermen. He sold some for next to nothing and gave away others. He too was quite taken by Bo and Peep. So together we headed for Eugene with destination thereafter unknown. Tara and I had $50 between us to donate to the cause. We had been living hand to mouth for years. It didn’t seem to bother us and it sure made it easy to leave.

The Eugene destination was a state park picnic area. There we saw a woman sitting at a folding card table in the middle of a landscaped field. All around her though at some distance from her there were people milling about. I didn’t know anyone and no one was paying attention to anyone else. Some may have been park patrons. It was strange to say the least. So we walked up to this woman and introduced ourselves. She was expecting us and simply told us to move as quickly as we could to our destination – Colorado National Monument near Fruita, a small town near Grand Junction, Colorado where we would be met by some who were already there but who were only staying for a few day, thus we needed to get their pronto. Rob had a bundle of cash from some of his house sales so he paid the way in gas and food.

Apparently the groups M.O. was to be very secretive about their whereabouts and to only stay in any one location a few days. They didn’t even give us the Eugene meeting location right away. Initially they only gave us a phone number to call and a specific time to do so. They knew that some would not take to kindly to someone’s abrupt departure. On the road I began to write to my parents about my choice. I knew calling them would do no good. They were not in approval of my choice to be so far from my New York home, living with a young women out of wedlock, no regular job or income, long hair, so on and on. Whenever I’d call I’d get fussed at because I hadn’t called sooner, though I did not have money for long distance charges which at that time were quite expensive – like 6-7 dollars a minute.

Yes for some one thing does lead to another and strong addiction may follow, but for me as I proved later, when I was ready to stop I stopped. By the time I met Bo and Peep I rarely did a hallucinogen. I had returned to smoking some pot, after nearly two years without.

As I wrote my parents it dawned on me that it may have been more than coincidence that, just that past summer I felt strongly to return to New York for a visit. Tara was opposed to the trip. After all we had begun the house and garden in our new commune endeavor with Ron, Judy and Rob. Why go back, but I felt compelled to do so, so we hitchhiked back and visited with both of our families. My younger brother at 14 years old seemed the most excited at seeing us. We got there late at night and I remember knocking on a window that just so happened was my bother’s room. He peaked out the window and was shocked to see me. That was so precious. It makes me nearly come to tears to recall it. From there Tara’s uncle who lived on Central Park West in the big apple bought us bus tickets to Florida to see Tara’s ailing grandmother. We stayed with her a few days, my first meeting her and she seemed to like me and then took the bus back to Oregon. Several months before that trip, we hitchhiked down to San Diego and saw my sister who had joined the Navy and was stationed on Coronado Island Naval Base. We met with her and it was the first time I’d seen her since she was 15.

Was it a coincidence that just months before we were to walk out of our lives in such dramatic fashion having no inkling to do anything of the sort before or did our spirit or soul or whatever we want to call it direct us in some fashion. People who have near death experiences often say they saw their life pass before them in an instant. Though my body was not threatened with destruction I did have a very strong sense that all that I was – all that I did – all somehow came together to not only prepare my mind to an acceptance of this huge step but also somehow located us where it did to be in the path of this spontaneous movement.

As with all of us, we are the sum total of our past experiences and choices thus an answer to how this all came to be as a reality we did not question can only be seen through one’s life story.

Chapter 5 – On the road as UFO Jesus Missionaries Extraordinaire

We arrived at the Colorado National Monument just as the sun was setting. Our car weaved through the narrow twisty, turny, huge rock formations. Maybe it was my imagination but it did feel intensely energetic and for the first time I was looking up and almost expecting to see a UFO. Again, I didn’t join for that type of excitement, though I later learned that some had. After all the group acted as if there was no time to waste and that we could be whisked off to this Next Level at any time. I later learned, that sense of immediacy was more the projections of the group members who had joined from the first couple meetings that took place in Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay area than from Bo and Peep. However, the idea of “hitting the deck running” was certainly part of the modus operandi from day one. The sense of no time to waste held on for the entire 19 years of my rather intense involvement – time was always of the essence. That’s not to say there weren’t many times where time seemed to stand still. It was a mindset, a consciousness each person needed to maintain for themselves. Ti was very clear that this would require a serious sustained effort. But Bo and Peep did not know exactly when we might be picked up, nor exactly how or where. When pressed by students they said it would take place within five years, but they never claimed an absolute date or period of time.

At the first camping area at the top of the monument we were greeted by some we’d identified from the Waldport meeting who basically told us where we could lay down our sleeping bags, as we needed to wait for more to arrive. As a couple that was a difficult point as Tara and I had done a great deal of camping and would zip our sleeping bags together and “snuggle” and she, feeling a little insecure perhaps at the moment, perhaps our last moment together as a couple, after nearly being glued to each other for five years, moved closer in the sleeping bag, to which I gently moved to the other side so not to be touching. I had no interest at all in sex at that moment, which was a first in my life, not that she was seeking such either, but I didn’t even want to go to square one. Still it was difficult for both of us.

We awoke and there were a couple dozen people all around, brushing their teeth and conversing. A meeting with the Two was announced to us and we all gathered in a little amphitheater, one with stone benches which is where we saw Bo and Peep for the second time. Again they appeared in their greenish windbreakers and as was most often the case Bo spoke while Peep listened attentively. They welcomed us and acknowledged the difficulties they knew many of us experienced exiting our old world. They stated that as hard as it is to leave loved ones behind it was necessary as this process needed your total effort. They said that those left behind would received special help from our Heavenly Father and would be looked after. We had to at this point have faith they would be fine and begin to cease dwelling on the past. And regarding the “past” it was the “past” and we needed to detach from it so we wouldn’t bring it up to others or ask others about their past. They said an essential ingredient we all needed was to establish a strong connection to our Heavenly Father. To do this they said to project our thoughts way out beyond the Earth’s atmosphere into deep space – as far as we could imagine, so not to have an imposter in the Spirit World try to masquerade as our Heavenly Father. They said we could ask for accelerated growth opportunities and the strength to handle them when they appeared. They spoke on influences, discarnate being, entities that are normal in the human world but who we will need to begin to give their walking papers to. In other words, spirits that may have been our helpers in the world could not help us any longer as with their help they want what they want as well – recognition of their role – seeing your success. No influence want’s to leave the planet but they will not go without a fight. This was a big part of our overcoming process – gaining a “single” eye.

They said some 27 new members came from the Waldport meeting, but some were arriving elsewhere, where we would be moving to as well. And they began to talk about what we could anticipate next – sharing this information as there appears to be a great thirst for it right now. And they answered some questions.

They made it clear that this wasn’t a hippie group, as many of us were and that they sought to maintain high standards of cleanliness and grooming. There wasn’t any philosophical talk but they made it clear they didn’t know when the demonstration would occur – when the Two Witnessed in Chapter 11 of Revelations are killed and after 3 1/2 days rise again. They fully anticipated this event but felt they must first gather those that are looking for this “information”. The focus was on the “process” and the “information”. The “process” was the overcoming of the world process and the information was the smelling salts that set us off – that compelled us to join. I learned later that most responded as I did – compelled to learn more and to do whatever was necessarily to have more. They also told us to select new names to match our the new person we were becoming. They said we could change our name as often as we wished.

After the meeting people started grooming themselves. Tara cut off the foot long braid I had and I shaved for the first time in maybe three years. There was a little sense of loss of identity from it, as I had built some of my identity in how I looked, so it was clearly one of the first shows of determination to engage this “process”.

That day, Bo held brief informal meetings with small groups of perhaps 6 new members. What I remember most from that meeting was his gentle way, but no sense of the saccharine niceties one can often find in various spiritual circles. But that is when he said to us…”this would be the hardest thing any of you could attempt to do in your lives – to overcome all your humanness and that perhaps only one or two of you will see this through. I remember thinking… “wow, that hard…I can do it…I will do it.” I didn’t at the time understand what would be so hard but I believed in what he said. I never for a moment in his presence felt his equal. I mean, I knew we both were in human bodies but there was something about him that I knew a great deal more about perhaps anything than I did, so I was in awe of him one could say.

That same day we packed up and among the six of us received directions to join one of six organized groups that were in the Ft. Collins/Boulder/Denver area where the next round of meetings were to be held. Tara and I were assigned the Boulder group and a ride was arranged.

Arriving at the Boulder Canyon site was uneventful. People’s tents were spread out among the trees, mostly hidden. It was a rustic camp area with not even a sign I could see. I was told we were waiting for one more couple who had been visiting their cousin and his girlfriend in Corvallis, Oregon, when they all decided to attend the meeting they’d seen advertised. They all joined. The Canadian couple from Calgary, Alberta went back to Canada to tie up their lose ends and were headed back to join the group in Colorado. They arrived the next day. We didn’t do any socializing per say. There were two that seemed to be the small group leaders and they asked if we needed anything and told us in general what was going on. So people stuck to their tent area doing whatever they wanted – read, fixed food they’d brought with them and so on, but there was no time wasted either. That same day, we all combined ourselves in a couple cars as there were only about 12 in this group and were instructed to meet at Poudre River Canyon, just north of Ft. Collins a couple hours north of Boulder.

As we arrived we could see this was a big meeting as there seemed to be perhaps 40 or 50 people. All were just sitting tight conversing with those they knew already, while group leaders were going back and forth as if they had some business we knew not of. After about a half hour Bo and Peep showed up and gave a meeting. In it they explained to us that we would all be holding six meetings on the same Sunday afternoon, perhaps five days away. Boulder, Ft. Collins, North Denver and Denver proper and a couple more I just don’t recall and probably never even knew. I knew there were some things, in fact many things I didn’t need to know. I trusted I’d receive what I needed to help me with my overcoming process. Then they explained that they had little funds and wanted to outfit all the new members, many of which joined with nothing with gear for living on the road as they thought we’d be in this traveling meeting mode for a while. They also explained that part of the overcoming process was trusting the Next Level, though the representatives sent – Bo and Peep to take care of our needs. That without giving over that trust it was like holding an ace in the hole in case this didn’t work out. They said we could all walk over to a certain spot and deposit whatever we want into that spot but to hold onto legal documents like drivers license and such. But we didn’t need to hold onto any money. Each group would be provided money for some of what we needed, that is, as long as it held out. Tara and I had $50 so we deposited that. They didn’t say we needed to strip or anything or put in the pile a Rolex watch though they did say, they did not adorn themselves with any decorations. They sought to be plain Jane in appearance – not trying to stand out or feel a certain way by what we wore or hung on our ears as all those things were things to overcome any need of. To hold onto things like that meant you weren’t ready to give your all to this effort.

I learned later that some had turned in their marijuana stash and I also learned that another seeing it secretly absconded with it. It wasn’t like there were any watchdogs present. That individual didn’t stay with the group very long.

Then Bo and Peep opened their car trunk and took out sleeping bags, Coleman stoves, some cots in the back seat and some foam pads and small tents and asked who needed them, at which point some helped distribute them and anyone who still needed one was put on a list. The group leaders gathered the pile of what all the new members donated and I didn’t pay any further attention as the meeting dispersed as Bo and Peep.

Next Bo and Peep began to create partnerships. This was a most traumatic time for those who joined as couples. Tara and I were partnered with another couple, me with Dandy, the new name she chose and she with Dandy’s old partner. I had chose the name Tim. Dandy was crying a great deal. I tried to console her a bit but knew there was little I could do. She had to come to terms with it, which she shortly did. Bo and Peep began to talk about the reason for the partnerships. This “process” was an accelerated period of growth – a cocoon kind of stage. A partner becomes a mirror of what you need to overcome. They are your equal but all decisions should be made together. One shouldn’t just walk off to use the latrine without telling the other where they are going and why. Because of this close relationship it will stimulate challenging circumstances that you will need to work out between you. You are not trying to please one another. You are both seeking to please only your Heavenly Father and you should know that of your partner as well so treat them with all the respect with which you want to be treated. When you find yourselves at am impasse, you each need to withdraw from your position and ask your Heavenly Father’s guidance (not aloud). It was private for each of us to do, and you will find that a solution neither of you thought of will frequently occur to you both or just feel right, not caring who expressed it. It’s because you relinquished your need to be right and have the answers, to even tiny questions and this opened you up for a better answer than either may have initially considered. It was as Jesus said…”where two or more are gathered in my name, I am in their midst”. Because of how the numbers fell, there were occasional threesomes. Then they added that we should let any one break up these partnerships.

It was in Poudre river that we met (though no one introduced themselves or made a point to introduce one another) all the members to date. It is also there where I began to catch on to how some of the students that joined before I did thought and acted. All were very serious but not without humor, as was the case with Bo and Peep. Bo and Peep didn’t crack jokes and their subject matter was generally logistical or lesson material so was serious but they also had an amiable light vibration. They never spoke with hell fire and brimstone. The bible was not a focus but was clearly in use by whoever wanted to use one. Bo and Peep did not discourage bible study, one of the things I did with my spare time. But certain students seemed to be thinking they were the reincarnation of certain persons in the New Testament. It was thought that we were those same souls who had returned to finish our lessons as we weren’t ready then, which is why Jesus said, He (with his Father) would have to return at a later time and then speak “plainly” of the Kingdom. Plainly was like using phrases like Next Level, or Evolutionary Level Above Human, says a little more than Kingdom of Heaven, at least did to me. I thought Heaven was this castle in the clouds, or just a good part of the spirit world. I never really thought of it as being in outer space, but that is what heaven actually means – the expanse or firmament around the earth – the sky scape to included the sun and moon. I never thought about members of the Kingdom of Heaven. I thought there was angles and angles had wings so were these mystical beings, even being invisible. But Bo and Peep were speaking more plain than I’d heard before by saying there were members, in fact, older members like themselves, what a human would call a Farther and younger members – works that helped with all the many tasks in the Next Level. So Bo and Peep were kind of deflating the spirit mysticism out of the idea and bringing it into more of a practical reality focus. Yes, there was still some considerable mystery but it was far progressed from what we had before.

One member of the group seemed to think of herself as Mary, the new name she’d chose when she joined. She was in her early 50’s and it was quickly apparent she was treating all us youngins as her children. She’d have to overcome that I thought to myself, but then found it amusing and went along. Another thought of himself as John and he had taken that name. He had a very managerial business air and to me was like 3CPO from star wars though barely short the British accent. Another chose Peter, very tall, squared jaw, great smile and perfect build. It wasn’t like they were all talking about what Jesus disciple they thought they were, but their names gave them away and I didn’t doubt that they just may have been. Bo and Peep didn’t monitor our name choices, but did say, that it wasn’t exactly boastful to think of oneself as one of Jesus disciples for two reasons. It held you to what they represent to you in your head and two they didn’t’ understand enough back then to be able to make the conscious choice to overcome and leave this world. Yes, many did go to their death in belief but much of that was stimulated by what they witnessed their teacher Jesus do – forecasting it then allowing himself to be captured knowing he would be murdered, then rising again and demonstrating a new body in progress but with new characteristics that to them was magic. One can’t ultimately make the transition into the Next level with undisputable proof of the Next Level’s existence as that would be baiting the body with magic. They 2000 years ago could only see such supernatural events because they were not ready to go in that lifetime. They had to come into a new body to start without such a memory that could substitute for a large portion of what otherwise would be experientially based faith.

Bo and Peep had also rearranged the groups so Tara and I with our new partners were not in the same group. Out of sight out of mind was certainly employed as a mechanism of not slipping back into old habits and desires. Dandy and I were still in the Boulder group and at about that time, we gathered up some of our new camping gear as we were some of those without much gear and it was back to Boulder Canyon.

The next morning a small group meeting was called by our group leaders, actually called “helpers” referring to helping Bo and Peep organizationally. They were in no way superior though having that position did set them apart and give them a certain air of authority and importance. Apparently they had secured a meeting hall, in the Boulder Library and had arranged to have posters made, thus the next step was to canvas Boulder which we did. We set out with two partnerships to a car and a plan of what areas to cover. Dandy and I were let out with our stack of posters and off we went – disciples of this new movement spreading the word. It was fun and Dandy and I got along well. We put up posters wherever it suited us. We even had nourishment provided by apple trees in people’s yards that hung over into the sidewalk. We didn’t have any question about picking a couple. We felt we were working for God and had a right to a few apples. We put up posters for three days.

The Boulder Meeting was given by our two group “helpers”. There were perhaps 100 people in attendance in a small conference room. They pretty much said the same things Bo and Peep had said. By the way, I can’t recall Peep saying much of anything at that first meeting but that wasn’t necessarily a pattern we needed to follow. It was known that each member might anticipate taking a turn in giving a meeting. As in our first meeting, some stayed after the meeting to ask questions and from that meeting 4-5 new members were added to our ranks.

The next day Dandy and I went all around Boulder picking up the posters we put out. We didn’t need them. It was simply the responsible thing to do. It wasn’t my idea either. In the next day or two these new members trickled into camp. We didn’t socialize much at that camps, if at all. Chit chat was frowned upon. There were no chit chat police but if you started to chit chat the other person would respond politely or just say…we are not to engage in idle conversation. That was an instruction from Bo and Peep. I didn’t know all the things they’d told others, so Dandy and I stayed near our tent, prepared meals together, cleaned up and did a lot of reading and contemplating. There were no radios or card games. By many a so called modern day person’s standards it was boring but I can’t say the inactivity bothered me though before joining it would have.

A day or two later we were informed of a meeting with Bo and Peep to be held at Arapahoe Community College. It was primarily for all those who were joining or considering to join as a result of the six area meetings. We arrived into a large lecture hall and we were instructed to sit on the floor in front of Bo and Peep to act as a buffer, though facing Bo and Peep. Apparently this was also a public meeting so had a mix. I remembers sitting there and for the first time in my life felt like the disciple of a guru. I was so, so proud to be counted as their student. It was the happiest I can say I’d ever felt. A buffer was someone in this context that was positive minded about Bo and Peep so in group formed a shield of sorts against the negativity Bo and Peep anticipated and felt directed at them at meetings they’d already given.

In a sense they made more enemies than allies because there was no existing group that was claiming to be leaving the planet with their bodies as one’s highest human aspiration. Therefore when anyone heard this, that we were not aspiring to spiritual enlightenment or nirvana, yet were not of the “say you are saved and by your belief your sins are forgiven and you will sit at God’s right hand and that all paths human are fine to get to the top of the mountain, but that there is only one way off – when a member of the next level incarnates to show you the way, we more or less intimidated or challenged others views as the ultimate pathway. And mix that with talk of UFO’s and people actually walking out the doors of their lives and wammo, we were becoming what was seen as a dangerous cult. Actually little did we know, there were investigators on our trail from Newport, Oregon. The word was out that this UFO Cult had somehow convinced people to give all away in exchange for a ride on a UFO to another world. Articles were starting to show up in local papers from Los Angeles where it began that April to San Francisco where one meeting was at Stanford College and big time in little Newport, Oregon where we’d come from and had that confrontation with the police. Bo and Peep did have this sense so knew moving quickly to do what they had started was a necessity.

To make matter worse, apparently when Bo and Peep were giving the Denver proper meeting, two FBI officers asked some of Bo and Peep’s helpers (they traveled with three student partnerships) if they could have a word with them after the meeting. When Bo and Peep were told this, rather than meet with the FBI, not at the time knowing what was on their mind, decided to go out the back door, hop in a car and skidoo. They had both been in jail before on circumstantial charges and now more than ever didn’t want to give anyone that opportunity. Apparently the FBI was interested in the group because of the UFO still on the posters. It was right in the middle of a large amount of cattle mutilation activity. At the sightings of these cattle mutilations frequently ranchers said they saw and bright light in the field or otherwise a UFO. The nature of the mutilations was very strange indeed, surgical cutting out of reproductive and milk giving organs, no sign of blood, precision cuts and no sign of footsteps or of an aircraft. And this pattern was being repeated all over Colorado. So this new “cult” was suspected and they couldn’t have been further from the source of such occurrences.

The next day Bo and Peep called another group meeting to include new members. To my surprise it was in a meeting room in the Denver Court house of all places. I thought that so odd. In this meeting were told of our next destination – Chicago over a thousand miles away and our getting there was to be a new experience for many of us – as there wasn’t enough funds to get us all there so we’d have to “test” our way there. “Testing” meant, going to those who say they are Christians who therefore technically should give to whoever asks of them and simply asking for our daily needs which in this case entailed gasoline and food. We could sleep in our sleeping bags on the side of the road or in the car if need be. We were not to beg. We were working for our Heavenly Father’s Kingdom and a worker is deserving of their daily bread. If they did not help us, we were to have no ill will to them – just move on. If they opened their doors to us, then give freely of what we have.

So the six small groups were dissolved and we were all instructed to meet at Cherry Creek Camp near Denver proper to organize for the trip. This was special for me as we were there for two days and Bo and Peep had been staying there while they were in this area with us. I saw that they too lived in a tent and didn’t seem to have anything more than us. I peeked in to their tent as I passed by and it looked very neat – a cot with a sleeping bag on each side of the tent and a couple folding chairs and a folding table – that was about it. While camping there we were told to keep our ears and eyes open as one never knew when Bo and Peep would walk around to mingle a bit to answer questions informally and sure enough they did and a crowd would quickly gather as individuals popped their heads out of their tents to be a part of. And this is where I got to hear more from Peep. In meetings she was near silent but in this setting she was quite amiable, conversational, humorous and pleasant.

We were organized into cars, two couples to a car. Dandy and I with Jan and her partner neither of which I knew yet. We were given about a tanks worth of gas, whatever food we already had as there was no central food distribution and instructions to meet at a camping area within the Chain of Lakes State park, just north of Chicago. We got on the road. Bo and Peep had instructed us to come into a town and ask our Heavenly Father to lead us to whoever might be receptive of the information we had to share. We were starting to develop our “feelers” they said, thinking of our solar plexus area as being key to it’s function. During travel time we were mostly expected to be “tuning in” to the Next Level – seeking accelerated growth and ways of service while not allowing our consciousness to dwell in the past and certainly not talk about the past. So there wasn’t a great deal of conversation. In fact mostly none except when we came to a decision point – which way to turn on the highway. We took turns as partnerships tuning into where to go in each town. We didn’t stop in each town, only those that were in proximity with the time of our needs for food and/or gasoline.

I clearly remember when it was our turn to seek help for our needs. Dandy wanted me to go first, but we together walked up to a Catholic church rectory door and knocked. I was nervous. I did not want to do it. I did not want to beg however we explained it. In fact there was only one time, and in my recent past when I asked a church for such help and that was before joining when Tara and I were out of money traveling to Lake Havasu City, Arizona looking for work. We went to my mother’s condo there as a place to stay from which we thought we could get work. It was 110 degrees in the shade I recall and we were staying in a condo that had no facilities turned on. But on the way, a church in Needles, Arizona helped us with some food to get further down the road.

It’s funny how I see this approach to this door so dramatically now. The door seemed huge – a big brown ornate looking wooden door with a huge ring type knocker that I used. No one came and so I started to walk back sheepishly somewhat glad no one was home, but then the other couple from a little distance egged me on to go and knock again which I did. The door opened and I said what I’d somewhat practiced… “We are in the area doing work for our Heavenly Father, sharing new information we have come upon and have some needs for food and gasoline – can you help us? He said, No! and shut the door and that was that. But I broke the ice. I had never proselytized or preached much of anything. When I was a kid I sold candy outside the bank and went door to door in my neighborhood getting people to sign up for my Christmas card club, but never had asked someone for a handout claiming to be heavenly messenger. It did feel natural and right, though scary. The next door I knocked on handed me a $20 bill – they said nothing and asked nothing and though it didn’t fill the tank and our bellies it was enough to get to the next town. In the evening we stopped on the side of the highway and found a decent spot to put sleeping bags and rested, got up, washed up and were on our way once more. It wasn’t more than another day until we arrived at our destination somewhat proud that we’d accomplished our first mission.

As people were arriving, those assigned to greet us assigned us an area in which to set up our tents. This was my first sense of being a part of this group. There was a slight euphoria in the air as people went about their chores and began to recognize faces they’d now seen a time or two before, all knowing we had chosen the same dedicated endeavor that we believed stood apart from anything else we’d done before. Most had been a part of this or that spiritual organization or pursuit or practice and the numbers were mixed male and female with a few 16 yr olds and a few in their 50’s. Most were in their late 20’s to early 30’s. There were now about 70 members.

Our first task was to scope out Chicago for meeting locations so cars were organized to go into Chicago to attend events where the participants might have interest in our information. Apparently Chicago had a large sector of spiritualists and people interested in all manner of the supernatural. The group I was with attended a meeting about psychic phenomena and asked questions with the intention of discovering what the teacher thought about UFO’s and such. There was interest and we stayed after and spoke to the teacher of the class about our new effort. We were in the Chicago area for 4-5 days and it was getting harder and harder to sustain ourselves financially as we all used the same method of largely “testing” Christians for our needs and we didn’t go to the same place twice.

National news – People from Waldport, OR leave all behind to join the Mysterious Two to go on a UFO to Heaven.

One morning we were told not to go out looking for help. A type of emergency meeting was called and Bo and Peep showed up. In it they told us our group had been infiltrated by two individuals, later we knew as Robert Balch and David Taylor. They were Oregon state students who joined as a way of doing their college thesis and they’d been with us for several weeks studying the phenomena. The group was in the news by then as the UFO cult led by this mysterious middle aged couple. But as it turned out a few days earlier Walter Cronkite had broke the story with the human identity of the Two as Bonnie Lu Trousdale Nettles and Marshall Herf Applewhite both from Texas. Since this had hit the national media and there was a hunt for them as the reason people were leaving homes and families behind to “catch a ride on a UFO” the media hyped and since there were impostors within our ranks, the teachers were in jeopardy of being apprehended and that would break up this group that was loose knit to begin with.

Bo and Peep had been in a hotel in Las Vegas when the Cronkite story hit and felt like they didn’t want to leave the room for fear of being apprehended. They didn’t feel like it was the right time for the demonstration as they predicted would occur according to Chapter 11 of the Book of Revelations re: the Two Witnesses. So while we were all arriving in Chicago and getting settled and scoping out the town for meeting locations and interests they were contemplating their next step. It was interesting looking back at how they were “shot down” from their mysterious position as Members from the Kingdom of God and how that occurred while they were hold up in Las Vegas, a city that like none other in the US might be considered akin to Sodom and Gomorrah (a city filled with all manner of corrupt behaviors) again as stated in the Revelation. Bo and Peep did not think of this until months later when it they realized the demonstration as they first thought could occur was not going to. In any case, shot down by the press saying they were frauds took them 3 1/2 days to recover and formulate a new strategy as they could not be seen in public now, not with the picture posted all over TV making them to be dangerous people knappers.

Walking around camp I recall wondering who might be the imposter. I can’t say I saw it all with the seriousness Bo and Peep did but I was certainly naïve as to how authorities could have pounced down on all of us at any moment.

So when Bo and Peep came into the camp, they were more secretive than I’d ever seen them and this time Peep spoke very quietly in case there were spies in bushes and there very well could have been. They gave us the overview of what was going on in the media and about the infiltrators and how they believe to know who they were and they were not in the camp. I suppose they just didn’t know what other surprised could be lurking in our midst because all they said they could do was scatter. The quickly assigned groups with about three cars each and had a separate huddle with those they knew they could trust, who had been with them for six months or so by then. No one else in a group would know where any group was going. They had a way for group members to stay in touch with Bo and Peep’s group of six plus themselves – I guess what would have been considered the core group. We would have a particular hotel chain that had hotels everywhere and a specific time each day when one could try to leave or pickup a message for a particular name. In this way someone knowing this scheme could call the Holiday Inn in San Francisco where a group was planning to go next and leave a message for Peter Childs, saying he will be checking in later. Then Peter Childs would call the hotel for any messages and it was a free message service. They would know that they could call again or meet in person at the hotel the next day at the same time and make contact. It worked well, but I was not privy to this plan until much later in my membership.

We packed up our camp as quickly as possible. Time again was of the essence as we didn’t know if authorities would be headed up our way and I later learned they were right behind us, even a couple hours behind us. This was till October and as the groups numbers increased however seemingly small, each new members was by some in their family a missing person who was somehow lured against their will to have some pie in the sky.

Next thing I knew we were in a car with 4 others headed south and I was driving. Apparently Bo and Peep handed each group leader partnership some funds to get us far enough out of the Chicago area so we weren’t slowed too much by seeking gasoline help. So we didn’t stop until we got to Oklahoma, just east of Tulsa where there were a bunch of large lakes and campgrounds where we camped and met up with several other groups but did not know the whereabouts of Bo and Peep.

Our group leaders did not have instructions past this point so we waited a couple days. Then we got word that our group would head to Phoenix to see if there would be receptivity for a meeting. We had an agreed upon campground to meet at near Phoenix. Apparently two groups would work together on the area. It was quite handy that Bo and Peep had spent literally years on the road in these areas before they ended up giving that Los Angeles meeting that began the group. They knew every place we could camp for free and with little hassle and we took advantage of those instructions when we could get them.

But trying to organize the Phoenix meeting was the beginning of a great deal of strangeness that would plaque the overall movement for months to come. People began question the leadership of those assigned by Bo and Peep to be our “helpers” or “contact people” to Bo and Peep and/or their helpers. These helpers were no anything special in terms of their management abilities which is what probably drew the most criticism. We were all very green at all this. None of us were of the ilk of a follower of anyone. Most of us were drop outs from society, business and the world to a large degree. And most were thick headed and not exactly polished diplomats. But it only took one or two to spoil the soup but it wasn’t really spoiling it – it was a response to the asking we’d all be instructed to do to “have accelerated growth” – well it was being dished out big time now.

Even still we managed to agree to look for a room and media support for poster donations and of course there were our daily needs to include gasoline. I remember living off of donuts thrown out by Dunkin Donuts that were readily available daily in the dumpster and as they didn’t have much really gross trash it was not contaminated. Later when Bo and Peep heard some were doing this they felt we’d taken the easy way out and that it was beneath us. Dandy and I would walk along the avenue where there were growing large date palms and we could easily find nice dates that had fallen when birds plucked at some loosening others. We lived on these dates for days. Well, though we learned where we could get great showers at the University of Phoenix by just walking in like we were students and showering. As it turned out the other group secured a free meeting room in Prescott, Arizona a hour to the north of Phoenix so we all migrated to that area to publicize it. It was our way to only give at most a week lead time to a meeting. Knowledge of who were even though it had made the national news was still not spread everywhere to all the small towns and not everyone watched the national news and the story though it was fairly big for a while didn’t dominate the entire media. However we didn’t want to push it and there was also the consideration that we were living off of the donations of the town and essentially the churches in each town. There was only so many donations one could find and we often visited a church where other members had just visited before us. Asking for help, though it became routine was never fun. It was always drudgery in the sense that it would have been easier to work, and at times did offer to do jobs to pay our way. However, the fact was, of course as we saw it was that we did have a job – to spread the word that representatives from the real physical Level that Jesus came from were here physically to share how that kingdom may at this time be entered, but essentially walking out the door of you life to join our effort to include overcoming all your human desires and characteristics that would in process be creating a new body within your physical one. And that at the completion we would be picked up by a UFO, not needing to experience death – gaining eternal life in a new world, but not the spirit world.

It’s funny looking back on these words and actually understanding them more fully. Death really meant what Jesus referred to as the “second” death. The new body we were creating was in actuality our soul – what was being filled more and more with Next Level mind stuff that at some point could be “viable” – able to transit the human kingdom – becoming the “celestial body” not made of the same flesh stuff the flesh body is made of yet still of some physical nature.

In any case the Prescott meeting was a good one. Somewhere around eight new members came from it and in this case Bo and Peep were nowhere to be found. We were out of touch with them at this point. We continued the pattern of having follow up contacts who stayed behind to help new members exit their old lives. Meanwhile the groups went on to our next prospective meeting town – Sante Fe, New Mexico. We camped in the black mountains and this town in particular was both very receptive to our presence and our message but for some very committed to forms of spirituality that would find our message of “the only way off the mountain top” offensive because that in a way was saying we were the top dogs, but the plain truth is better seen by eliminating all spiritual inference. The point was that these members from a world outside the Earth were opening the door for a brief time to any humans who might want to apply for membership in their world. It wasn’t saying they were top dog, though if that group were the creators of the entire planet and even our very existence, however that evolved in mind and body in conjunction with the direction offered by members from that other world, then I guess they would be a rung up the totem pole. Jesus said it this way that even the least in the Kingdom of Heaven (amidst the firmament outside the expanse of the Earth) is greater than the greatest human on Earth (at the time referring to John the Baptist).

The Sante Fe meeting was given by my old friend Ron from Newport and his partner. It was an intense meeting and about a half dozen new members came from it. Because of the new members and the need for cars I finally sold my silver flute I’d been carrying around (and had never again played). I got $90 for it and with the money Dandy and I bought a car that did run but that’s about it. We went ahead to the next meeting location – Berkley, California where two other groups besides our two were converging.

It was nearing Halloween – October 31 and as a prank a book store in Berkeley announced that the UFO Two as they were now called would be showing up to give a meeting on Halloween. We heard the rumor and so showed up wondering who was going to claim to be Bo and Peep. No one showed up and it was just a silly confusing scene as there were people interested in the message of the “UFO Two”, but we took care of any of those and pointed them to the real meeting we were organizing in a large park in Berkley. A lot of press showed up, but also parents of those who joined, spouses of those who joined all looking for their loved ones. In some cases they were found and emotions ran high but none were dissuaded. I ran into Tara there and it was a little awkward. We glanced at one another but did not make any effort to have further contact. Actually I ran into her very briefly at another time and it was strange but we kept our focus on our tasks and not on each other.

We stayed in the house of a would be new member and it was one strange scene as people knew who we were but at the same time didn’t know what to make of us. We like celebrities to keep some distance from I guess. After the Berkley meeting several groups merged in the forest near Santa Rosa. There were many new members that had never met Bo and Peep. Being somewhat a veteran by now I recall speaking nightly around the campground repeating everything I’d heard Bo and Peep say or do.

Plus there were members there that I had never met who were on the road traveling spreading the message while Bo and Peep were headed up to Waldport. One person’s name was Seymour. He had some ideas of going east but didn’t want to do it himself, but I liked the idea being from the east and feeling a calling to take on a difficult task to help bring the message there as it seemed apparent the west coast was becoming saturated. Dandy wasn’t enthralled by the idea but was willing. So we had a pow wow and agreed to split into two. We numbered perhaps 50 at this camp. Some would need to hold back while new members trickled in. Seymour wanted to head north again, eventually heading up to Canada. My group, not “mine” but one in which I was taking more of a leadership role would head to Boston.

Out of the recent California meetings came a bunch of new members that in some ways made former disciples look tame minded. One person called himself Lightborn and he was apparently loosely affiliated with Ruth Gordon’s group and the Space Brotherhood, a group of alleged aliens that were very military in style and who were like a Starfleet command as a part of a grander union of space aliens though they acted and looked very much like humans. Another individual took the name John the Baptist – a big guy. They were to travel to meet us in Boston as well.

Well the car we’d bought for $90 lasted for about that many miles – collapsed and Dandy and I were given a little Mazda a new member from Sante Fe had brought into the organization. We drove it cross country stopping alone the way to ask for our daily needs and most importantly spreading the word as we went. There were many a preacher I engaged in debate. More and more I studied what Jesus had said in the gospels and found his words more and more clearly supportive of the same effort in which we were engaged so frankly could shoot down any arguments to the contrary. In fact in many cases after some discussion we were asked to leave and without help as we were thought to be inspired by the devil. I really did not care whether we got help if the other had a problem with the message we were wielding. It was clear to me that we were certainly not saying or doing anything against Jesus. Those we encountered were the ones most insistent in our use of their terminology to describe their faith that by not subscribing to indicated to them that we were not of their ilk and rightly so – we were not. All this stuff about Jesus dying for our sins so that any talk of works (effort) was thought of as somehow “earning” our salvation in the face of what Jesus was to have given us. Where did Jesus exemplify that he did it all for us, anymore than a teacher of math can do your own math problem and expect you to gain the benefit from it. The teacher can show you the “way” but they can never do it for you as they know experience is the only real teacher. This logic was so clear to me and I learned to see it in so many ways backed by scripture because frankly I’d taken the leap of faith to leave it all behind as Jesus required of his students and the Bo and Peep were requiring now while those in churches had not taken such a step thus would not be the beneficiary of the relationship such leap of faith spawned with one’s Heavenly Father. This was not to say I sat in judgment of anyone. If they didn’t answer the call that was not my business and I said that to many, that they had their own relationship to God and I was not one to say what that is for them, however when the shepherd’s voice is heard the sheep from that fold need to respond or else be left to fend for themselves in a world of wolves often in sheep’s clothing to steal your very soul. It came to timing. We were saying the timing for what Jesus had preached he would return to do – gather up the believers was “at hand”. It wasn’t for everyone and belief was nothing without action. One doesn’t believe in something if they are not willing to support it and the degree of that belief has to do with the degree of support and of course the cares of the world do weight heavy upon us all in how to apply that belief to action. It just so happen for me, I was more or less free of worldly attachments or for whatever reason was touched in such a way that what I considered myself attached to, my common law wife, my budding music career, my house construction and communal endeavors paled in comparison to this magnificent plain sense about what otherwise was until then still superstition and here say and frankly near beyond belief. What Bo and Peep brought seemed so darn tangible – it was well worth “selling all I had” to by one pearl of great price, one of the countless examples that Jesus gave as to what the Kingdom of Heaven (or call to it) would be worth to us.

It took us about a week to get to the Braintree area south of Boston where we’d agreed to look for one another and we immediately bumped into others from out group who had also just arrived. Then there were more and more and then we ran into another group who had heard some were tackling the east coast so also felt led to do so, so set out and in fact joined us as well. So we had several dozen members in the area coordinating our efforts and wow was that indeed an effort. Dandy and I located a library room that was large enough in Worchester, MA and agreed we would speak at the meeting having found it and I was chomping at the bit to get my feet wet. I was frightened at the idea but felt it was time to dive in. I’d been practicing my spiel for weeks.

As we began to advertise our meeting that in this case we made over a week and half away – being we wanted to do a good job to poster all over the Boston area, we went to every health food store, new age head shop, library, music venue, book store and spiritual center. We sought radio ads, did interviews with various newspapers to get free advertising and of course visited every church that existed. There were challenges at every turn though as within the group there were always a one or more that no matter what the decision, they saw it differently and could not stand to not be heard and heeded. I think they also did not want to feel led. At one point at a park we were all meeting inside a tennis court, all twenty something of us and this one member could not come to consensus on the plans, until I just said…if you don’t like it just leave… which I felt bad about saying as the individual seemed to have good intentions but was seeming to be used to repeatedly cause us all delay and discord. I apologized to him later but it wasn’t the end of our difficulties together.

The first public meeting I spoke at

The meeting in Worchester was about to begin. Dandy and I found a silent place to go “tune in”. I was going to begin talking. I was nervous for sure. I was making what I saw as a major spiritual announcement to this East Coast metro-plex. The library room was filled to capacity, certainly over 200 people. We walked in, sat down and took a moment to “tune in” asking that our Heavenly Father use us and began to say…”There is a light from the distant Heaven’s that has come upon the Earth at this time”. I literally felt engulfed in that light – removed from reality and anyone’s response, hardly aware of what I was saying and certainly having no plan memorized or noted before me. I looked over at Dandy and could see she was energized as high as a kite. She said nothing but I knew the energy was coming through both of us and it was not of our origin. After speaking for perhaps ten minutes we began to take questions and there were a bunch, many of which were from Christians but from other religious orders as well. We clarified immediately that we were students of the Two, the ones the press spoke of as the UFO Two. Maybe 40 minutes into the start it ended and some stayed after to ask more questions. Four or five wanted to know more and we answered all their questions. One wanted to join and we met up with her the next day but she ended up changing her mind. It was far different than the response in the western states. Bo and Peep felt that most that were seriously seeking found their way west, not all mind you but most.

We gathered our members and had a pow wow and decided to head north to Montpelier to put on our next meeting. Before we left Massachusetts our little car died on the side of the road. Some police happened by and said we couldn’t leave it there. We explained that we had no money and were working for our Heavenly Father’s Kingdom. He took us to the station and arranged for a tow of the car which he gave us the bill for but decided not to hold us further so we hitchhiked from there.

When we got to Montpelier, we ran into another group. Apparently three of our groups had headed to the northeast. They were also short cars but one had a Volkswagen van so we piled in and traveled together looking for the help we needed and scoping out the meeting possibilities. Food was a little scarce then. We lived mostly on canned corn and peas donated to us from food pantries. We didn’t have a stove then, so we’d eat it cold and speaking of cold, the weather was getting pretty cool. It was into November and we’d sleep out in the open on the ground wherever we could without getting arrested. One morning I awoke with a inch of snow on my sleeping bag and frozen toes. As luck will have it we met a gentleman that loved what we had to say so invited the entire group to stay at his house where he also lived with his family, to include a couple kids and a few of his relatives. We gave them a mini meeting and they were as hospitable as could be.

We were examining a meeting room in a local church, but they didn’t know exactly who we were and we didn’t always blurt out our more controversial views or ways of expression of them – yes at times it seemed too blatant unless we were asked. I remember how that became a point of contention with Lightborn and John the Baptist. When we’d ask for help and state our business as Serving our Heavenly Father by bringing new updated information about the Kingdom, if someone was not inquisitive as to what that exactly meant – what “new” information or what “update” then we didn’t force it down anyone’s throat. The testing that we were doing was not setting us up as anyone’s judge. It just demonstrated to the Father in Heaven what people were made of as Jesus said to give to whoever asked of you and that by giving to the least of these you are giving to him. Even still I never felt like…one person passed or failed. It just wasn’t my job. My job was to distribute the information and if those in Christian organizations were working for the same ones we thought of as Jesus and His Father – the Kingdom of the one true God the creator of our world and even life then why wouldn’t they want to help us and why wouldn’t we want to receive the help from them. Did our terminology mean so, so much? Well, yes it did and no it did not. For some, they wanted to help us and did so without question. For others they wanted to know all about us first, some to scope us out as legitimate or not and for others because they really were interested in what we were sharing. Some when they heard our spiel that I never held back on when they asked (and I didn’t require them to ask a whole lot) they were troubled by it. I never enjoyed that. Some cried and some I cried with not necessarily knowing why. Some got very angry and demanded we leave. Some through money at us in which case I refused to take it, though I always kept in mind that we needed to shake the dust off our feet as Jesus had instructed his disciples when he sent the 70 out doing much the same mission as we were attempting. In one case a Catholic priest gave us $20 and we said very little to him, sometimes have 4 to 6 of us approach at once asking. When we got to the car Lightborn and John the Baptist wanted to go give him a statement as he did not ask much and yet we felt his love for God. Perhaps I was too sheepish – not wanting to blow his mind or make it seem like we presented to him only what we thought he would be okay to hear to get the money when we really had all this weird to his ears stuff to share that understanding it might have caused him great grief of thinking we were charlatans after all.

The contention within the group was getting worse and worse. It got to the point that these folks were trying to break up Dandy and my partnership saying we’d been together too long and needed more lessons with others – we were too attached to each other. These folks had not even met Bo and Peep and were resentful of the strength in our partnership that Bo and Peep had formed and even warned us against breaking needlessly. Dandy and I had little to no attachment to one another. Yes, we did work well together and yes did rely on one another for strength and were friends but it was clear in my mind that I was not interested at all in another human relationship. There were brief moments of time when I tuned into her femininity, but I quickly turned my attention away and didn’t have much trouble doing so, especially helped by my sense that personally she really didn’t like me and I knew for a fact was still grieving the separation from the guy she did love, who was still by the way partnered with Tara.

But one of the indicators of whether we would do a meeting in a town was whether there were people interested in what we had to share and together with whether we were receiving the help we needed, be it food, gas a meeting room and posters. It seemed like we had far more resistance in this town so we decided to cancel. And it was getting very cold so decided we’d all go our own ways with the cars we had. Lacking our own car to use, we ended up traveling south with Lightborn and John the Baptist driving this old Camaro I think Lightborn had joined with. It wasn’t more than a couple hours down the road that Dandy and I could no longer stand being with these two guys, so we asked them to just let us off, which they did and we from that point on were on our own with only our thumbs to travel on.

So we decided first order of business was to get out of the cold and it didn’t get warmer until, well actually we still froze our butts off in Houston, Texas about a week later where they were having unseasonably cold temperatures with highs at night in the 40’s. We didn’t have winter clothing but stopped by salvation army and churches and asked for help with clothing so had some sweaters and such. As it turned out Dandy had an old friend who lived in Houston so we looked him up. He was actually a close friend of her X-boyfriend – Michael F. It was great having a warm dry place to hang our hat for a few days. I remember loving listening to the grateful dead tapes though at the same time I was guarded not to get too carried away with it. We naturally did a lot of talking and it was emotional for Dandy to be there again recalling her relationship with Michael. Detaching from the past is not easier when confronted with it. Another interesting situation came up. These folks we were visiting had some friends over. As it turned out the women in her late 40’s I’d say, said she had dated Marshall, who was known to me as Bo of Bo and Peep, my teachers. Before becoming Bo, Marshall was quite well known in Houston high society. He knew people like Farah Faucet and as he worked as the music director of a mega-church in downtown Houston that was directly across the street from where Dan Rather worked for CBS, he would often eat lunch with Dan. In any case she didn’t elaborate much on Marshall except to say he had wandering hands and I presume a healthy sexual appetite when they were together. I remember hearing that and not really caring. I didn’t have some idea that this fellow had no life before he had awakened to the role of Two Witnesses – Bo. I didn’t know much of Bo and Peeps past except what I’d read in newspapers. We’d been detached from the group for several months by then. It was December. To get out of the weather and to relax Dandy and I would seek out libraries along our journey and I’d read newspapers for any news of the group and I’d study whatever I could find related to the bible, mostly gravitating to the pseudopigraphia and the Nag Hamadi library and whatever was published about the Dead Sea Scrolls.

At this juncture we decided to head east so along the gulf coast we did continue to hitchhike. I remember one fellow picking us up, getting talking a bit but not in particular about the group and before I knew it the guy was offering me a job managing one of his factories and he was dead serious. We were clean cut and obviously not encumbered by substance use or abuse and convicted to our spiritual journey so he thought I would make a great manager. I had to refuse saying, I had a job but that I was honored that he would offer it. It was right after that that we stopped at a shelter for the night. Shelters were not a regular stop at all in our travels. We had few regular stops. We didn’t like shelters as they often separated the men from the women and it was part of our instruction to stay together which we tried to comply with but occasionally we made an exception. We didn’t think Bo and Peep would find fault with our choices but then we didn’t have a way to check with them except in our minds. As it turned out, posted right outside the shelter was a poster advertising a meeting in Panama City the very next day at a local library and it was the same information we were sharing. It blew our minds to see this. We showed up at the meeting and sat in the audience to kind of check them out – see what they were going to say and whether we recognized them. We didn’t recognize them and it was the same information alright. During question and answer period one person asked if they were the same group from Waldport, Oregon who left all behind to catch a ride on the UFO. They said they were not those folks but that it was the same group. Dandy and I could not restrain ourselves so we jumped up and said…we were some of those who were at that Waldport meeting and left all behind to follow Bo and Peep. We pleasantly shocked the speakers and the audience and they invited us to help complete the meeting which we did. One of those was named Steel and perhaps Jeremy. They had joined during a St. Louis meeting another group gave. They were not connected to any group either but knew more of their whereabouts. A huge meeting that got a lot of press was held in Biloxi, Mississippi.

Somewhat joyful to have made such connection we decided to work together, but they had a car and we did not and their car was a two seated sports car so we agreed to meet in Brownsville, Texas to see about holding a meeting there. They were also interested in warmth.

In a day we made it to Corpus Christi, Texas. Dandy was putting her sleeping bag down on the beach. We’d received help with food from a local church but no lodging. I laid my sleeping bag down perhaps 10 yards from hers and as it was way past sunset and was dark (as I can recall seeing the lights of Corpus Christi to the north) and I was looking up into the heavens as I frequently did and talked to “God” (without any real definition of what God was) when to my surprise I saw a huge ball of bright light, say the size and brightness of the headlight from an airliner facing me as if coming in for landing. It was traveling from the North at about a 45 degree angle from me and as close as the elevation of a small plane or like that airliner example, over the Gulf of Mexico and sped in the course of 2-3 seconds out of sight to the south at a speed of a meteor but showing no signs of a smoke trail or breakup (as I learned to observe of metoers thereafter). But that was not all. About half way in it’s path, putting it directly in front of where I was standing it took an abrupt 90 degree turn then headed down as if it was going to dive into the gulf and did so seemingly without a speed change, traveling for less than a second though a clearly distinguishable distance down. Then it did another 90 degree turn to keep it headed south as it first started out but as if it had changed latitude lines. And I watched it go out of sight in the far distance.

I shouted out immediately…”Did you see that…!!!” and Dandy looked up but it was gone. I immediately wondered if it was intelligently driven. I did feel like it was for me for some reason.

The next day we arrived in Brownsville, got help with food and found a meeting room for free, got some posters donated to advertise the meeting and rendezvoused with Steel and Jermy who helped us advertise the meeting to be held 3 or 4 days later. It was a small town. We didn’t think we needed a huge PR job. The four of us gave the meeting together and perhaps 20 people showed up and no one was interested to join us. We decided we would be holding them back too much to try to stick together further so we said our farewells and parted company.

That’s when I got it into my thick head that we were restricting our service to our Heavenly Father if we were too concerned about the winter, staying away from it. Dandy was not in objection so we decided to head north. About three days later we arrived in Madison, Wisconsin and yes it was cold. We found open churches to sleep in or shelters. But Madison did not seem to open up to our staying a while to try to do a meeting so we headed southeast into Kentucky, then all the way back west into Colorado. We were in the deep snows always being picked up and taken into people’s homes for some warm food and a dry place to sleep, or a minister of a church would put us up in a hotel. I recall sitting at the dinner table with a minister and his wife and their two kids who themselves asked us lots of questions to include…were we married. I explained that we were married to God. We’d get meal tickets for restaurants and at other times if no one was around to ask, we’d walk into a town find an open church door, go into the pantry and eat and even cook whatever was there and clean it up and leave a note of thanks. One time we were surprised by a deacon and his assistant and a large conversation ensued. Another time we were ordered to leave their premises. We spoke to many people in cars and to others in hotel lobbies – even gave impromptu meetings when the interest seemed apparent. It was exciting. It was challenging. If we had no place to stay and were too far from a town we’d just keep our thumb out as staying active kept us from freezing but we never felt our health threatened. We were well taken care of and met lots of great people. We had many run in’s with the law. They didn’t particularly like our modus operandi. One time in Tennessee they took us to the station. We each had largish backpacks and they dumped them out and found nothing as we did no drugs. I was a bit tiffed at them. So they took Dandy and locked her up and I complained and told them I was working for God and that they were messing with the wrong folks. They let her go but really frightened her as that was the first time Dandy and I were in physical contact when she ran into my arms for a hug while crying. We put our backpacks back together again and they took us to the border of the town and ordered us to stay out of their town. Some towns gave transients who were looking for help the big run around. It was not infrequently that many of the churches because of the volume of transients looking for help organized a fund to help folks but that they administered through the police department. That looks good logistically as then they could have the police check them out, not a very Jesus think to do, someone who forgave the thief and prostitute. Jesus wasn’t much of a mixer with the state. He said pay your taxes if you use Caesars money system. He also said agree with your adversary while you are in the way with them or else they will take you to the judge and from the judge to the prison where you will have to pay a great price. Many humans think they own all this land and have the right to run people off the roads and harass them if they are living outside their laws yet hurting no one, so if we need to live with this system as it would be hard or impossible to travel without being within the system, then we need to seek to “agree with this adversary to God’s law’s” so not to find ourselves punished for non-compliance with man’s laws however abhorred by God.

We continued to crisscross the mid west, town to town on the small roads. One particularly notable event occurred in Liberal, Kansas. When we got to town we found a church that without a question gave us a hotel for a week and a meal ticket for several meals a day for a week. We looked at one another and said, this is some reception. We have to organized a meeting here. We quickly found a library meeting room from free and got someone to donate 100 posters. Then we marched into the local newspaper office and asked to be interviewed. We told them about the Two Witnesses, Bo and Peep and all and the reporter in her 40’s or so took wild notes and was quite smitten with us to a point that I know we were about the weirdest things she’d seen cross her desk. But they agreed to run the story before the meeting. The article was printed front page with our pictures the day before the meeting but they got one thing wrong…They said we were claiming to be these Two Witnesses that were expecting to be killed and rise again after 3 1/2 days. When Dandy and I saw this we both kind of got scared. What if some crazed Christian thought this was their claim to fame to do in these antichrists. Then we could be putting out lives on the line by giving this meeting. We decided such would be a longshot and personally I was willing to give my life, even expected it to some degree. We agreed to announce at the meeting first thing that the paper got it wrong, that we weren’t the two, we were their disciples. Nearly 100 people showed up in this tiny town to hear our meeting and they were a good crowd though there were some Christian hecklers. So the meeting went well though no one wanted to join us and I was not disappointed by that. I was not looking for followers really, just wanted to do my job to see if there are any.

One night I recall being just west of Little Rock, Arkansas, in a camping area. It was already May. We’d been traveling like this for 4 months and overall since September when we joined. I was increasingly frustrated and felt all alone. Dandy had had some doubts she expressed and told her I’d help her with whatever she wanted to do. I assured her I could go it alone, that it wasn’t my preference but I could manage. She didn’t want to quit yet though. We had grown close and she did feel connected to Bo and Peep as I did so pressing on was our only option. I remember though looking into a clear nights sky and asking what more there was I could do and asked for help to know the way. The next day we hitched into Oklahoma City and sought the local library only to see one of those infamous UFO posters advertising a meeting a few days away at the library itself. We were elated and attended the meeting and it was being given by none other than Bo and Peep themselves with students at their sides. They looked at us and knew us though we’d hardly been seen by them before. We were reunited and it felt so, so good.

Apparently the groups were quite organized again and were still putting on meetings though attendance was low. After the meeting Bo and Peep spoke to us – congratulated our tenacity and assigned us groups to hook up with. We headed up to Indiana where our group was located. A new member from the Oklahoma City meeting provided us with a car she no longer needed so we drove ourselves.

One thing I noticed that was odd about the group leaders of the group where we were assigned is that the female of the partnership was pregnant – very, very pregnant. As it turned out she was impregnated days before she joined and didn’t know it. She had arranged to deliver the baby to a midwife and a family wanted to take the child as their own so this way she would never have so face the baby and the baby would have a loving family to care for it’s needs. While I was with this group she did leave to have the baby and she returned and all went well.

The meetings were winding down. Low attendance and enthusiasm made us feel they were played out and Peep felt that too. We started staying in our campgrounds more, working with new members, doing chores and such. We received a lot of communication from Bo and Peep that were given in such a way to encourage better grooming as well as behaviors. One time we were instructed to communicate to anyone if they have a particular problem with them. Maybe this was a big mistake but I told one female classmate whom I was clearly infatuated with that I was attracted to her. She was a bit taken back by that and I later learned that that was about the only thing we shouldn’t say as even that could be like bait to see if the other has interest and could start an attraction. I was told by Dandy that I was very gruff. That I stomped around the campground like I was angry. I was not. I was simply serious natured.

Then I recall in a camp ground by St. Girardeau with my group, we received some very serious communication from Bo and Peep to be in our silence and to focus on bringing in and being ready for the next step in our progress into membership in the Next Level. Several days later it was announced that Peep called off any additional meetings. The harvest was officially ended she said. We would all be gathering together from wherever we all were around the country.

It was July and it was 3 1/2 years to the day from when Bo and Peep left Houston, Texas on January 1st 1973 to set out as the Two Witnesses.

And things were really about to change now.

Chapter 6 – The Cocoon – an Out of this World Accelerated Experiential Overcoming Process Begins

Situated about halfway between Cheyenne and Laramie, Wyoming was the Veedavou National Forest, a huge stretch of uninhabited territory dotted by small pine trees, huge majestic rock formations dispersed within a rolling high desert. It had it’s own mystique while showing the harshness of the environment – high winds, well below zero winter temperatures, lots of snow and besides the winter, low in precipitation.

Each group while on the road had “group leaders” who maintained communications with the group traveling with Bo and Peep. Now that we were all in one area, these continued to be a point partnership for organizational purposes but they were called “Helpers”. They were not our leaders. They were simply helping Bo and Peep manage the newly formed organization.

These Helpers were available if group members needed help with something. They would come and go and didn’t inform us of what they were up to. It wasn’t our business. We had our daily chores around the camp. We didn’t mingle really, not within our group, nor with other groups. We mostly worked within our partnership unless we had a need or wanted to offer service to the Helpers. They in a sense were stand in’s for our Teachers being they were our most immediate “link” to Bo and Peep and they didn’t have as much time as we did to take care of their daily needs because they had tasks to do in relationship to their job as group “helpers” so we could offer to help them, be it to cook food of do their laundry or whatever we might think of. This entire endeavor was not a social experience. When not engaged in chores, but not excluded from chores, we spent our time “tuning into” our relationship to the Next Level, seeking to quite our thoughts and seeking to change the things about ourselves that we needed to learn in order to become acceptable to the Next Level. The problem at this point was not knowing what was not acceptable to the Next Level but over time that would be clarified therefore sometimes not having much to do, was a lesson step, to take it all in rather than constantly occupy ourselves with chores and thoughts.

My First major Lesson: Keep my focus on myself – As Jesus said – Remove the log in your own eye before seeking to remove the twig in another’s eye.

Three or four days into our stay in Veedavou Bo and Peep came to each camp and spent a few minutes with each partnership privately. We simply sat in a car with them, Dandy and I. They asked us if we had any questions. Dandy was a bit shy so looked to me. I looked at Peep and noticed she appeared to wearing eye liner which I thought odd. After all, I thought makeup was for women that wanted to enhance their appearance and certainly not for someone on such a spiritual type endeavor as we were at that point fully engaged. So I asked, why Peep was wearing eye makeup. Peep replied, “it’s none of your business”, to which I was taken back. It was a strong response said with all seriousness. She certainly wasn’t hesitant to offend me, not that she intended to offend me. She just answered my question honestly. I looked over at Bo and he was smiling. He then said, was there anything else we wanted to ask them. I didn’t have any further questions so we left the car and another partnership entered the car.

Years later I learned that Peep sought to look “normal” when interacting with humans which for a woman in her late 40’s at the time entailed what she wore and how she kept her hair and how her face looked. She also had large somewhat bulging eyes that she felt make her look odd to people that entered into their pre-judgment of her something she found ineffective in communication. Bo spoke to the classroom once about that incident many years after it occurred and explained Peep’s position in this regard. Appearances mean a great deal to human beings, pre-judging one another by our looks, often doing so automatically. I did not and still don’t realize the extent of this. Peep knew it well so sought to compromise – blending in while de-emphasizing her more distracting to others’ features.

I learned a good lesson right then and there. These were not Pollyanna teachers. They were not afraid of turning away students and were not feeling like they owed us explanations that were not pertinent to the task at hand. What did Peep’s appearance have to do with my “overcoming process” to be acceptable to Next Level membership – the whole reason I was committed to the effort they were the instigators of.

Dandy, left the car and was like “phew…that was intense” and it was clear I had been blatant and my normal bull in a china shop kind of person who had little restraint. Bo and Peep never spoke to me about that though there were many lessons to come that somewhat addressed this same unbridled enthusiasm that bordered arrogance.

The helpers would meet with their group once a day at most to relay Bo and Peep’s instructions which mostly surrounded our daily care of ourselves and our environment. We were not to put things off that needed doing, keeping ourselves and our environments neat and orderly. Lacking showers and having limited water we were instructed to start each day with a sponge bath, taking turns using the tent for privacy. We’d heat a small amount of water, use a washcloth to wet our bodies, use a little soap but not so much that it took a lot of water to rinse off. Water wasn’t plentiful. The entire group organized a “water run” daily where approx. 45 5 gallon water jugs were taken to an agreed upon water source out of the forest to fill up. We’d do our own laundry in a basin each tent was provided and we’d keep the groups camp neat and orderly while staying hidden among the trees so not to alert the Forest rangers to how long we were there. There was officially a two week limit, though we certainly stretched the rule. Fires were not allowed in that time of year and we did not come and go unless we had a reason which would be cleared through the Helpers of each group. For instance, if we were bored we didn’t just up and go to town to get a pizza. It was quite clear that there was a chain of command in this respect.

At this point there were no dietary standards. We were given funds and times to go to town to buy supplies. Two or three partnerships would carpool to town.

One day the Helpers returned from a morning meeting with Bo and Peep and we were told to all pile into cars and intermittently leave the forest, so not to arouse attention and head to Laramie some 40 miles to the west, specifically to a particular hall on the University of Wyoming’s campus.

Somehow, as strange as it seemed Bo and Peep had secured the use of a classroom so we could meet and see and hear Bo and Peep better. It was a small lecture hall and Bo and Peep presided over the meeting. There were 98 of us that had survived the 9 1/2 months of mayhem scattered around the country. Ron and Robert and Judy and Greg who I left Oregon with were no longer in the group. Tara was still in the group and we said hello but still kept our distance so not to awaken old memories to stir feelings, but that was the way it was, in general between members. We were not a social club. It was more or less strictly business between us, the business of overcoming our humanness, an endeavor I still knew little about but was going to learn a great deal more about soon enough.

Bo and Peep were very pleasant and even humorous. They congratulated us for having made it this far. They spoke of our circumstance, the practical aspects of being a sizable group living in the forest and wanting to stay as long as we could. They addressed much of what had been instigated by each groups Helpers re: hygiene and care and the order of our camp, our cars and such. And they answered questions. Apparently they had shared a great deal more information over the months Dandy and I were on our own hitchhiking all over. They spoke about discarnates what were referred to as “influences”. They said when a human died they become a discarnate yet they continue to enact the same behaviors, likes, dislikes they had established while in a body, though lacking a body, they had no other recourse than to enact it through those who still had a body. In some cases for the things they did alone, they continued to do them whether that was to mow the lawn of course in mind only or run in the park. For the things they did with others they sought out others to do them with whether to have sex or to engage in conversation or debate or to be on a baseball team. Those in bodies were not aware of these influences and might have the idea – I think I’ll call Joe to see if we can organize a ball game. That idea could have been their own or could have been a discarnate seeking that activity. In this way, discarnates provided humans with lots of ideas and even their power of execution. In other words their attention and proximity in and around our brain added to our own force of effort. With more of these influences we might feel more and more motivated to certain activity and even thinking. Say you were seeking political office and discarnates witnessed the attention you were getting – holding rallies and attending fund raisers, giving speeches, some discarnates who sought the limelight would gravitate to these and their presence in energy and ideas, answers to questions and so on in a real sense beef one up – fills them with a greater capacity, what we often think of as charisma.

They said that one large aspect of our job was to rid ourselves of these human level helpers. They were not bad to have while in pursuit of human level activity and goals – to have a career, a family, a beautiful home, lots of entertainment and such. But if one is attempting to depart the human kingdom, they need to give these influences their walking papers as their desires can only hinder someone’s completion of the metamorphic process that can result in becoming a butterfly, what they said was akin to Jesus Christing or christening – completion of the metamorphic process as demonstrated by Jesus at what was described to us in the gospels as his transfiguration.

They spoke of the Next Level more. One interesting idea they touched upon was that in the universe there are many forms of service to the Next Level. There are some creatures that serve by being living transport devices for other beings just like someone on the human level might serve their community by being a bus driver. They said there were living space crafts that were intelligent and enjoying of serving by transporting others to tasks they needed to perform. Their service was no less or greater than any other and they were not limited to that service for eternity. They would have continuous opportunity to aspire to whatever they wanted. Some they said aspired to work in Headquarters which is where they had come from. In Headquarters one department entails making membership an option for human equivalents on garden planets like earth as they come to their ripened time evidenced by human or human equivalents desiring more than what the Earth can offer, having that sense of there being more and not able to fit in or seeing through much of the contradiction and primitive behaviors of garden occupants. When some are beginning to reach this stage, the Next Level can read it and provides them help in the form of new information pertaining to the reality of the Next Level and how to move closer to it’s membership. This occurs in conjunction with the Next Level sending “gardeners” into the fields who bring more of their Next Level mind with them to deposit into the Earth atmosphere that provides all more opportunity to perceive more and more, lifting more and more out of any Dark Ages. Knowledge is increased by the presence of these members of the next level who enter as discarnates but are not limited as discarnates are. They seek the vehicle they prepped beforehand for their mission and start a relationship with it, to at an appointed time “take it over” and use it to locate those potential new members to bring them up another notch in their overall schooling that leads to their Earth graduation. They explained that they were here to take those who have exhibited the desire and wherewithal to complete their lessons to result in their membership in the Next Level which would be their next evolutionary step above human where they would no longer die or circulate among humans but would be beginning a new life everlasting in a non-decaying environment that was engaged in the service of all of creation to include the nurturing of yet new potential members of the Next Level.

We began to have meetings with Bo and Peep in that classroom every week or so where they would bring examples of how members had acted in certain circumstances and answer our questions. It was mainly so we wouldn’t rouse suspicion from the Forest rangers as who this large group was and whether it was time for them to move on.

REVERENCE:

In one lesson, they explained that we were far too casual about how we approached one another and that we needed a great deal more respect, restraint and realistic REVERENCE. For instance, say a partnership (we did everything as a two or threesome) had a need to talk to another partnership. How would they go about it. Would they just walk into another’s tent site area and knock on the tent to get their attention? No. If the other partnership was in their tent then we didn’t approach them unless we had specific instructions from Bo and Peep and/or through Helpers to do so. If it was clear that other partnership were out and about – active, then we would approach but stop when we reached eyeshot of those we were approaching. Those receiving us would acknowledge that it was a good time to communicate, with a glance, otherwise if they ignored us then we would not bother them and would try again later. This came up in regards to Bo and Peep where some Helpers wanted to ask them a question. Bo and Peep were outside their tent area cooking on their camp stove. The approaching partnership just walked up to them and thereby forced Bo and Peep to give them the attention they wanted. It was wrong in this circumstance to assume Bo and Peep could be interrupted as it appeared they were just fixing a meal. Little did they know, that Bo and Peep were regularly in a type of connection or seeking of connection – “tuning in” as we called it to their “helpers” outside their visible environment and that forcing them to turn their attention to us was forcing them to take their attention off their “older members”, not a casual think to do. Bo and Peep said this was a normal human thing to do, like knocking on someone’s door or ringing them on the phone, thinking little about interrupting their mental concentration which could have also been engaged on working out a problem. The Next Level way was to extend the ultimate respect for another. Lacking an emergency it was to show your presence and when you know they knew you were making your desire for attention known, if they acknowledged you, approach, otherwise come back another time and/or repeat the request. We were to practice this with each other not just between us and our teachers, representative of older and younger members of the Next Level. It wasn’t so much that they couldn’t’ be interrupted. It was more about not assuming what we have on our mind is more important than what they have on theirs and that no matter what someone appeared to be doing – menial tasks of cooking or cleaning it didn’t mean that a great deal of important things were not happening on their minds that we could not see.

Practicing this with one another seemed so special. It was truly reverent and it also put more responsibility on others to recognize another’s need to communicate so someone with a genuine need were not put in the position of having to be pushy to get another’s attention.

The “A” tone:

Bo and Peep gave us a tool, they said would aid us in “tuning” our minds. They brought in tuning forks for each group that we shared. It was in the key of A. I never knew whether that was because those were the most available tuning forks or whether they specifically sought that tone for this exercise but we were instructed to sort of memorize that note – sing it, hum it and check that we are learning it by using the tuning fork to check our tonal memory.

Partner Change:

At one point we were reassigned partners. I became partner with a female named Check. She was one of the 39 who laid down their lives in 1997. She was one that came from Canada, who met up with the group while we camped in Boulder. I had grown accustomed to Dandy and she to me. Our effectiveness in helping one another discover the areas we needed to gain control of had diminished. It never was that good to begin with. One time Dandy had told me I was like a bull in a china shop the way I tromped around the camp. I sought to be more refined in my movements after that. At another point before arriving at Veedavou Bo and Peep suggested if we have anything to say to any member of our group to clear the air or to seek help with, we should do so. I told June a young woman who joined pregnant and arranged to deliver the baby to a family in Arkansas who wanted the child. June was also one who laid down her life in 1997. I told her I found her attractive and therefore distracting or something like that. It took some guts to tell her that. I was embarrassed and I wasn’t coming on to her at all. I had no intention of going back to the behavior I’d left behind. I thought I was being honest. As it turned out this was one area Bo and Peep preferred we not indulge because of how it stimulates the vehicle and puts thoughts out there that can become bothersome to others. I don’t know if June ever dealt with knowing how I felt. I remained very attracted to her while in the group, though I kept it under control and tried not to focus or have thoughts in this regard. I slipped plenty in this discipline but overall I did not enter into any fantasies so I guess I did okay.

So now I was with a new partner, also a fairly by my estimation attractive young woman so there was chemistry automatically there which would provide for difficult communication – usually surfacing as being a little too nice or unhelpful. We were supposed to point out in one another anything we thought was unbecoming of a member of the Next Level. We were knew at this but still tried and Bo and Peep would learn about what we said to one another and correct us if we were barking up a wrong tree in criticizing another.

Exercise of Silence:

Simultaneous to this partner change was an extended exercise in not talking. We didn’t know how long it would last but there was to be no talking at all. We could write a note to one another if we absolutely had to. It wasn’t easy agreeing on what food to cook. That was the hardest thing I guess because along with not talking we were trying to not be aggressive with our way. We were seeking to do what the other thought best. So we used gestures and often just nodded yes even if we didn’t want to so we could proceed. It was like if you said no to someone, it was like demonstrating that you had a strong preference for things to be a certain way, and this we were trying to deprogram from ourselves. Flexibility was important in this regard so it was hard to say no yet if we really felt another decision was best we had to say no and then gesture something else. It was awkward. Bo and Peep eventually after a few days and reports galore on how things were going to include some meetings where we could voice problems said we could say Yes, No or I don’t know and could use key words. So if you wanted eggs for breakfast one could say to their partner whom we were supposed to do everything with, short of personal hygiene and bathroom chores, “Eggs?”

Securing our Environment – Camp Borders to keep out discarnates:

Next Bo and Peep instigated a mindset and practice that had to do with discarnates – human level spirits who were no longer incarnate – out of body – spirits. They said we needed to keep our minds clear and part of doing that was by keeping foreign thoughts that these discarnates were thought to be the originators of out of our camp. Since we had no walls, we designed imaginary walls assisted by sticks – branches that had fallen off trees that we laid all around the perimeter of each camp touching one another and whenever we felt the urge members of each group would walk that perimeter telling the discarnates to stay out – talking out loud or in our heads. They encouraged us to talk to the discarnates out loud at times because this fortified their reality to our own vehicle. Our bodies were thought to be our suits of clothes that has it’s own mind, own habits, own likes and dislikes. We were the commander, that is if we didn’t always do what the body wanted and when it wanted to do it. We were to take full control over our vehicles – that is in mind and body. Bo and Peep explained that we were not responsible for what thoughts we have but only for what we chose to entertain. If we had a thought of a sensual/sexual nature, we could allow it to linger and grow into another and another and even a daydream or vision but that would increasingly stimulate the vehicle in this way and would be harder to stop. We were given the expression “nip it in the bud” – sense that thought even before it registers in your head and cut it off, put up a blank card, turn your attention elsewhere – whatever it took to not go down that path that gets harder and harder to reverse once entered. This discipline also pertained to those who were highly critical of others, easily brought to anger, fantasizing, playing out scenarios of fun or popularity or fame or even a better world. Bo and Peep wanted us to be so in the moment that we consciously instructed our bodies every step, every movement. It was a practice of being in total control, not doing anything on automatic.

I would walk the perimeter and in this case could do so without my partner though before doing so would ask of motion to my partner if I could walk a bit. We asked about everything. “Is it a good time to use the rest room?” with one key word/phrase, “rest room?”. Most times a partner would say yes to this one but at times they might remember that there was water boiling that they were supposed to take care of, so would say…”water?” and I’d get the hint and take care of my job and then go to the rest room, which by the way was the woods. We dug holes for solid waste. It was a big national forest and these were not prepared campgrounds. It was as rough as could be. We used leaves for paper, though if we had paper we’d bury it too.

So I’d be walking along the stick perimeter which was also thought of as our space craft and I’d say. Discarnates – get out of here. This is our craft and we wish to be left alone. Go somewhere else please but if we heard a thought that persisted be it the past or someone in the past we had certain attachment to or desire for a chocolate cake or to take a drive or to be sexual or whatever we could if we wanted get stronger and even angry building force to let these discarnates know we meant business. But we didn’t have to get mad. These discarnates were thought of as often helpful to humans. They attach or tag along with humans when the humans do the things they liked to do when they were in a vehicle and often times they help humans do things. A discarnate that when in a vehicle liked to run or jog might hang out where people with bodies jog and will all but enter another’s vehicle to experience whatever they can, which we thought amounted to the energy from the effort, like a heat or pulse that they get increased vibe from, thus in a sense feed off of. If it was a discarnate that loved to be a manager of others, say at the corporation they ran, then they would continue to hang around the new corporate board room and assist whoever they want with their duties, reminding them of things that need to be done and giving ideas of new things to try. The human will think they originated the thought – “had an idea” while it often is a discarnate. This could become so dramatic that those humans with lots of popularity for whatever reason could have a literal entourage of discarnates traveling around with them boosting their ego, giving them confidence, helping with whatever it was that they became successful at. It was thought that this was why when some people would walk into a room, one felt an enormous presence. It may very well be that they do represent an enormous presence, their body and who knows how many discarnates building them up and taking the energy that comes from their doing what they like to do most that this human body was active in.

The Smooth Whirlwind:

The next exercise Bo and Peep instigated was called the Whirlwind or something like that. We changed partners every day and did so with other groups. There were about 7 or 8 groups of about 12 in a group at this point. We even built pathways with sticks connecting groups that were sometimes as much as 100 yards apart. So each morning after daily clean up chores – which entailed a sponge bath in our tent and shaving for the guys and brushing of teeth, we’d have our next partner assignment as provided by each groups helpers and off we go, switching and doing it all silently. We each had one bag to carry all our personal belongings, sleeping bag and such. One partner would stay put and receive the new partner to their tent while one would go to a new tent. It was very, very interesting and challenging because it showed how each person did things a little differently and interacted a little differently and how chemistry played such a strong role in communication and how much help we were willing to offer another.

A funny thing that was happening in many tents was the making of fudge. We got to learn who made the best fudge and this whirlwind continued so that we ended up being with most every person in the group and some twice. It was all most interesting when we’d go to town, at an agreed day and time for each group so not to make a big scene leaving or returning to the camp, to get supplies. We’d continue the no talking and would just nod approval or not at each food item. Most of us have strong preferences when it comes to food and this became a source of how flexible we were willing to be while not imposing our likes on another. There were no food guidelines from Bo and Peep at this point and most gravitated to the same things and our budget was not huge – provided to us by the group helpers who received it from Bo and Peep.

Bo and Peep were also camping but no one but the 7 or 8 helper partnerships knew their location. As I’ve said the Helpers would go meet with them every morning to get new instructions if there were any. At this time Helpers would pass along their observations of the group members. Talking was permitted if we needed to report something to the group Helpers and we could do so without our partner if necessary though that was discouraged, but if it was about our partner we needed to seek help at times without them. For instance a number of females said I looked angry at them at times and they didn’t know why. So Helpers would come to me and tell me of this observation. They didn’t take sides. They would preface that “if the shoe fits”, in other words, examine the observation. If you don’t think there is merit to it, then simply catalog the observation, but if you can see what the other is saying, seek to change that behavior. Of course Helpers also had their difficulties, though they weren’t in the whirlwind. Bo and Peep needed dependable help and these helpers were usually those whom they had worked the most with in that capacity for the 9 1/2 months we as a group were offering what we had to the public.

I was envious of the Helpers. They seemed to have greater stature, but I soon learned they didn’t. In fact in my group, as it turned out the Helpers had a sexual encounter. I didn’t learn who was involved until years later. However, there was a meeting called by Bo and Peep when one of the members confessed it to them and it was a major shakeup of the group. Bo and Peep were adamant that this was not a game. If anyone wanted to have sex then they should leave the group – it wasn’t for them and there was no time to waste. I also heard that someone smoked some pot in one group and Bo and Peep found out and had the same kind of meeting saying this was not appropriate behavior for someone seeking to engage their full energy, full strength, full mind, body and soul to taking control of their body and all it’s desires to “overcome” it’s animal nature to be the best applicant of Next Level membership they could be. It was the same for alcohol use if there was any or smoking tobacco or any entertainment based activity. We were only to do what we were instructed to do or we don’t want to be in the program, what we called, “The Process”. Food as entertainment would be dealt with later on as it was not as clearly entertainment.

At some point after these events a few decided to leave the group. neither of those who had some degree of sex left at that time. One did leave some years later the male member who instigated the sex. The member in the female vehicle exposed what she participated in many years later when Do encouraged the students to come clean with anything we knew we were attempting to not participate in. I was a little shocked by it as she was a “Helper” in my group at that time and I did look up to the “Helpers” as they had a closer and more regular interface with Ti and Do. I later learned that that did not really mean they were my elders or were further along or even closer or more loved by the Teachers. In fact as it turned out most that were in that “helper” role then and thereafter ended up leaving the classroom, perhaps because it did build their ego to have that “special” role so that translated to thinking of themselves as “special” to where when they weren’t in that role, as the roles did change, they felt let down and demoted and less important and special. Many were faced with this kind of struggle and many left rather than overcome it.

At one point, I ended up in a threesome partnership with two other male members. That was very interesting and challenging. We ended up discontinuing the strict no talking. We’d experienced it for nearly 3 months so Bo and Peep said we could give it a break but not to go back to chatting like chatterboxes. However I recall lying on my sleeping bag, next to my partners, two guys about my same age – 20’s and we were talking about stuff and discarnates. We tried not to talk of the past, but occasionally someone would refer to something in their past and the other partners were supposed to say something but then would feel like they didn’t want to make waves or find fault with the other so might be permissive of it and even might fall into doing the same thing. This may have been one of those times but somehow we started talking about discarnates and to all three of our surprise we at the same time felt this overwhelming presence and it felt very strong and very dark – evil – whatever you want to call it. We were scared seriously by it and said to one another, we’re never going to talk like this again. Apparently we were challenging the discarnates to show themselves while not being that convinced that they really existed and wammo, something changed and all three of us knew there was a reality to it.

Don’t Challenge discarnates:

This led to a lesson when it was reported by us to our helpers that reported it to Bo and Peep, that we should not challenge discarnates. We don’t need to try to make it harder than it is. We don’t want to intimidate them as they will take it as a challenge if they would have done so while in a vehicle and you will have a more difficult time keeping your thoughts under control and not off into some human activity, when you need all your energy to stay on the straight and narrow.

1976 – 1994

We lived outdoors in the “wilderness” for about 3 years. Then we moved into large houses in suburbs of cities like Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, Amarillo, Houston, Denver, Boulder, Albuquerque, NM, Scottsdale, AZ, San Diego, Las Vegas, NV, Anaheim, Laguna Hills, Newport Beach, San Clemente, etc.

Chapter 7 – My Choice to Leave the Classroom in September of 1994:

Here is another section that has to do with why I left the classroom:

https://sawyerhg.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/does-sawyer-regret-leaving-ti-and-dos-heavens-gate-classroom/

It was September of 1994 when I left the classroom. I had been dealing with giving into sensuality with myself for nearly a year, keeping it mostly hidden though did expose it early on. DO said he “thought I had the makings of a good member of the Next Level so didn’t want to throw me away.” I offered me an overseer task again as I was taken off of overseer duty when I confessed for the second time that I was still giving into sensuality. Do also said he didn’t feel to dismiss me from the classroom as was the policy via the documents Major Offense List and Lessor Offense List to do regarding knowingly giving into sensuality, because I had not threatened any other student’s compromise of their discipline.
He offered to partner me with Mllody to be Overseers on a task for him and I told him I couldn’t do it and he asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I guess I have to leave. He then said, “you want to become more objective”. He asked me where I wanted to go and I said I wanted to ride a bicycle we had in Laguna Hill, CA east. He said no and suggested going to stay with Mark and Sarah in Arizona. He had students buy me a airplane ticket there and gave me $600 in cash.
Mark picked me up at the airport and took me to their house. Sarah said to me, “none of that sex stuff”. I stayed with them for about two weeks. I was asked how I felt about Sarah (Srfody’s) classroom departure since Sarah had been my human partner in the world for about 5 years living together before joining:
I was surprised when I saw Srfody (Sarah) cuddling up to Mrcody (Mark) at a meeting. Before then I had been told by Srrody that she did that with him and I remembered she did that with me as well on two occasions, once in the Juice Lab and then on the airplane we took to have the 2nd visit to families of our vehicles. And she had gone into a closet with another student who later revealed they were feeling one another up in there. But at the time of that meeting none of that was in my head.
In other words, it seemed apparent that she wanted out but didn’t want to say so directly or leave in the middle of the night like a number did, so seemed to be looking for another way to leave. DO later said in a meeting in 1994 that there were some in the class that had formed a relationship while in the classroom. I could only recall Mark and Sarah doing that. I had long since detached from the relationship I had with her so it didn’t affect me personally.
The visit to families was short and cordial with her Dad and stepmom. I ran into him after I left the class in about 1985 and he said to me something I took as being condescending about my still having long hair (as I had regrown my hair and beard)
Sarah’s sister wasn’t there. I did speak to her on the phone after I left the class and she and her sister weren’t speaking. I expressed sorrow that our choices caused her pain but that was the extent of our conversation.
In Arizona I quickly got a job in the area at a resort hotel as a dinner cook. I got a bicycle and an apartment in Mesa and rode the bike to work and back everyday. Then I moved closer to work in Scottsdale.
I got in touch with my vehicles mother and family almost immediately. My vehicles brother visited me and I decided to move back to NY in about February of 1995 into my mothers house where I grew up. I had computer programming work remotely for some months with a company I worked for in the classroom in Scottsdale that I cultivated a return to after I’d left.
In NY I started to try to date via internet sites and it was a disaster. My mother started to make rules for me – like no dating a black girl which I broke in one of the dates. So I moved out and lived in my van and went up to the Highgate, Vermont Grateful Dead festival where I met a 22 yr old woman who I thought I fell in love with but was another disaster but taught me that I didn’t want to look for a woman. I moved to a friends house near Woodstock, NY and while there met the woman that became my partner of 17 years who we had and raised – a daughter and lived with her half sister – my partners first child who was just turning 4 yrs old when I met her.
I had started a Network Marketing business based on a blue green algae based product line and my new partner who I’ll call “Meg” tried the products and got fast positive results so decided to invest in it. We lived together a few months after meeting. She basically seduced me and was closer to my vehicles age so no drama was involved and I liked her so I went with it and grew to love her, though we always had problems to where I wasn’t living up to her standards (mostly surrounding my work for income). When I met her I was working two jobs in Saugerties, NY – one as a baker and one as dinner cook. We got an apartment and lived there with Gail her first daughter who was just turning 4 yrs old.
We moved down to Carmel, NY and Meg gave birth to our daughter in our home with a midwife as Meg’s first birth was stimulated with ptosin and was horrible for her. We tried hypnobirthing but didn’t continue with it. The birth went well enough but was hard on the nerves since her water broke 22 hours before she gave birth so there was a fear of infection as we were a hour away from a hospital.
Meanwhile I was terrible at network marketing. I would get stoned with weed to be willing to go to grocery stores, etc. to try to meet new clients to buy our products and/or become business builders. I would tell people on the cold calls I made how to get the algae less expensively. Meg, partly against my wishes spent thousands of her savings and 401K on advertising and business building seminars, etc, while paying the bills. She still uses the product line but we went broke because of it. While we were trying to sell it the local news came out with a story that Celltech (our company) was a pyramid scheme to sell “pond scum.” That didn’t help sales.
We moved to Long Island near to where my mother and other family lived thinking there would be more money there to afford our products. The products seemed good and we didn’t need to stockpile them – didn’t have to buy anything but it was encouraged to act like business builders to find more business builders to make the big bucks. Against Meg’s wishes I told her I was going to look for a job as a programmer.
I got a good job – paid 50K/yr. computer programming in Visual Basic in Syosset, NY and I commuted to Stony Brook, NY where we rented a house near the LI Sound shore. We were there for 5 yrs. Meg convinced me to ask for two raises over the years and I did and got 10K more twice, plus medical benefits.
Chapter 8 – The Classroom’s Exit of their human vehicles they borrowed for their task in March of 1997
I was still living in Carmel, NY when DO and His Class exited the human vehicles they borrowed to perform their overcoming of humanness task through as Jesus taught would be needed to reap his promised reward.
I reluctantly contacted the press and arranged for some secret interviews. I felt compelled to tell what I knew though didn’t want reporters on my doorstep.
I went to NY because Jstody knew someone from 60 minutes and he invited me. Over two or three days in NY I was shuttled around from one media group to another. I returned a few days later and went on Larry King Live. A few months after that I was on Geraldo’s show about UFO’s. I did Good Morning America and was pictured on the front page of the NY Post but with the unpopular title of “death cult x-member” or something like that.
The BBC came to my house. I was broke so I asked for money and got about $300 from the BBC and from Geraldo but no one else. (I’ve never received money from any media group since then, though they pay my expenses.)
Behind the Geraldo stage I met with a publicist who was known by Ted Lohman, someone who had a UFO show on a cable channel in the Tucson, AZ area where I met him with Chkody as my partner when we were setting up a meeting there. The publicist wanted to work on a book deal and I worked with him and formulated the idea of a book title being, “Within and Without” where I was writing my perspective from within the group and Nancy Brown, the mother of David’s vehicle was writing from not having him any longer and from outside the group. We submitted sample chapters and one major publisher said we had a deal and assigned a top notch editor who told me I didn’t need a proof reader – that my writing was good enough that a good editor could fix up.
Right after the death of Princess Diana hit the air waves it gave a reason to stop talking about Heaven’s Gate and the NY Post came out with the book, “Heaven’s Gate Cult Suicide in San Diego” and our publishing dream was cancelled with their saying, “The public is no longer interested” which though saturating the new cycle wasn’t really true. The public was tired of their reporting of it.
Chapter 9 – 9/11 and a return to writing about and wanting to serve Ti and Do again
I was in my office when the World Trade Center towers were hit 30 miles or so from me. I saw it as an apocalyptic event. My company did a public offering and sank and they hired my replacement who they could pay less. My boss, the owner told me that’s why he let me go, though there were probably additional reasons as I was starting to do a poor job, though they kept me on as a contractor from home as I knew their mac software product that was coded in C++. I worked from home for a while. At nights I’d go out to play music and got pretty good so got some gigs with bands.
We weren’t happy though so kept looking for something to buy that we could afford but could find nothing so Meg wanted to look in New England. At first I didn’t want to move off long island since I’d be moving away from my family for the third or fourth time in my life. But we sort of had no choice as after 9/11 there were no jobs being offered for programmers with my skills if at all for quite a while thereafter. And my partner who was a Manhattan corporate executive, CFO and CPA was raising capital for a startup internet girls clothing line that investors ran away from after 9/11.
Meg lined up a bunch of properties to look at in Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. We found two that could work. We had fallen back on Meg’s hobby of making glass beads and jewelry and I got laid off so collected unemployment. We chose to move to Vermont.
We were having problems all along and after 9/11 I began to have dreams of TI and of DO and of Classmates with messages. Plus I had premonitions and asked for a sign and saw a streak in the sky when I asked for it. So I said to DO that I’d like to be of service again and I asked that I wouldn’t have to leave my daughter/family and felt like I got an immediate response that that was not necessary at this time.
I began to write a book I was going to call, “The Message” and Ti came to me in a dream and approved of my writing.
I tried finding a publisher but in my sample manuscripts several said there was no interest in that story any more. For some reason I steered away from putting a focus on Jesus and Prophecy.
The Father in law of this vehicle had money and was a devout Catholic so I asked him if he’d help me publish my book as I had nothing. He agreed and that was about 2003 or so, so I began to write with a Jesus prophecy perspective. Simultaneously I began to explore Heaven’s Gate on the internet and met Carlan (Crlody) in the process. He remembered me and I vague remembered him as he only joined months before I left.
I wasn’t with the entire classroom when we finished the meetings all over the U.S. over 9 months in 1994. I had got an old job back at the same company in California where Srrody, Nrrody, Mllody and Stlody had been working while we were in groups putting on meetings.
I had a hard time watching DO in exit video’s. I never disbelieved in he and TI but it was hard to take his message at that time but over time I grew back into enjoying all his meetings.
I continued having dreams sometimes in response to a specific question I posed to them while awake. I asked DO if I needed to prepare to exit as they did and he came to me in a dream and said, “You need to give your life”. A friend reminded me that you have to have your life to give it which I admit wanting to hear, but I did have the guts to ask but as with Ti and Do he gave me the option of how to give my life.

various subject related to ti and do and space aliens and new discoveries

December 30, 2013

Tonight broadcasting on all subjects from 9-11pm et Revelations, Comets, space aliens, ufos, archeological discover in grand canyon of Egyptian city ruins, and more at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sawyer

Broadcast tonight about ISON and 7th angel with trumpet blast and 3rd woe

December 26, 2013

Do has not to my knowledge informed me in any direct way about ISON, which nor do I expect or hope for but by indirect indicators throughout my examination of bpearthwatch’s videos and what I know about Ti and Do and what I see in prophecy it appears to be related to the 3rd woe. Each “woe” was actually an EXCLAMATION of a trumpet that comes before it. It appears to me that th e7th trumpet were being sounded – that’s communications by words/ideas/understandings regarding the reality of the Next Level and Their agenda which has global reach that suggests Their truth, relative to all prophecies as depicted are held back in Rev 10 until the time of the seventh trumpet. I may be wrong but as best I can tell the National Geographics channel, “Final Report: Heaven’s Gate” was just such a global wide announcement that strongly suggested even in it’s byline that the Heaven’s Gate effort was the so called “second coming” of Jesus and his Kingdom of God/Heaven family, Father and student body (saints). That documentary didn’t need to say a lot. Just be stating in no uncertain terms that this might have been the second coming, if it doesn’t stimulate those looking for Jesus return, to at the very least “consider” it, even for future exploration as other things unfold is actually their casting judgement over themselves as to who they want to be in allegiance to – Ti and Do or Mammon(humanism) in all it’s forms. So ISON I believe is the start of the 7 angels with vials which in events will show in world events as both the 7 angels with trumpet prophecies (that weren’t the communicative in words parts by/through the various players – Next Level, space aliens and humans depicted mostly in the trumpet blasts 5-7 and the rev 16 vial (medicine seen as plagues, calamities). I’ll talk on this more tonight on my broadcast in 10 minutes: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sawyer

Ingredients of a Deposit-Becoming a New Creature By Lvvody w/Sawyer intro

December 20, 2013

Before Lvvody’s paper, I, sawyer just wanted to explain that this Next Level graduate who incarnated into a female human vehicle, was on one of the “exit video’s” and was mostly in tears. Some thought her tears were suspect of her not being fully in favor of what they were about to do in laying down those physical human containers they had incarnated into and overcome the human ways of. I knew otherwise having known her from the same meeting I attended and have a similar story to tell as do most all of those who joined with Ti and Do then and in 1994. None of these were naïve individuals or easily led or looking for a ride on a UFO or even on a religio-spiritual self elevating martyrdom trip, though I have to admit my vehicle did have that weakness of wanting to be special in that way – the hero on the cross, so to speak as I gathered from being brought up by those Catholic ideas and Jesus movies in the 1950’s – 1960’s I saw over and over again.

I too wanted to be a priest when 13 but couldn’t imagine why and knew early on that was not any direction I wanted anything to do with. I too felt pulled to Oregon after being deported from British Columbia where my girlfriend and I tried to build a homestead that previous winter having while still on Long Island studying British Columbia for a land purchase and studying log cabin building and hunting for food the year before to the dismay of our Catholic and Jewish parents.

At 19 years old, having been drawn to Canada, where I used to hitchhike to from NYC I became attracted to Vancouver so when I hooked up with my first serious girlfriend, lacking money for a motorcycle decided to hitchhike to Canada then to Vancouver then to Mexico and back the same way over a summer, that in so doing convinced us to try to move to British Columbia after getting jobs and an apartment and saving money over the next 9 months.

I was born in NYC and raised on Long Island and was driven to leave after I flunked out of my first year in college in Beckley, West Virginia, amid hating the Vietnam war knowing that I would go to Canada before being drafted. During that college year as out of my parents control I grew my hair and beard and because of was often threatened by southern red necks, while drugging as much as possible (but felt to stay clear of heroin and downers and speed, but used acid and mescaline, pot and hashish galore) and putting nude women pictures all over my walls around my bunk while having zero interest in studying anything. Yet years later when I used to hitchhike through very dangerous areas of Connecticut to go to Rhode Island to party with my high school buddies at their apartment where they lived when they weren’t on their Navy station on the U.S. Nimitz docked at Newport, RI, they’d all be drinking and drugging while for bizarre reasons related to some paranormal experiences with my psychic girlfriend I had quit by then, I’d be studying what Jesus said but never could figure out what he was talking about. I never sought to find out what he was talking about until after I met up with Ti and Do and after the meeting told all my friends throughout Newport, Oregon, the hippies I’d circulated with and my musical band mates that “I felt like I sat in front of the equivalent of Jesus”. Years before meeting with Ti and Do I’d hung out and by chance, not desire, lived with Jesus freaks in Washington state. I had been arrested in Canada, probably turned in as it was clear I was a New Yorker living there illegally and working as much as I could find, probably thought to be a draft dodger as were a number of my friends there. So my girlfriend was allowed to gather our belongings from our very remote no facility mountain cabin where we had lived for the very harsh winter and she met me at the U.S. border. The old 1949 GMC pickup we bought in Canada for $350.00 broke down in Yakima, WA and a Jesus freak in town offered us a place to stay and while there with his family and friends I’d debate with Christians what I saw as major flaws in the gospel ideas that seemed hypocritical. They still liked us and we them as we’d attend all their regular services where I mostly played drums and harmonica. Over two weeks time they fixed my truck without charge and we had $50, just enough to get to the Oregon coast where I thought I could get some fishing work, having come from a family of commercial fishers on Long Island so I imagined I could do that having no formal education or skillset. (Before that I worked as a handyman, a warehouse worker, in factories, sold pot, as a hospital janitor, short order cook, pharmacy delivery driver, newspaper sorter, etc.).

So that’s a little snapshot of my life from high school to when I lived on the Oregon Coast dancing with the Sufi’s, attending meditations, meditating on Sri Chin Moy pictures, transcendental meditation examination, study of yogananda the bhagvad gita all of which and more didn’t appeal to me while most of my friends were diving in. My girlfriend was always reporting seeing crazy stuff – spirits and balls of light in the meditations that I stopped attending as I was bored and would only fall asleep anyway so I’d hang out with folk outside. I remember thinking I wanted to become “enlightened” like Yogananda but I guess I didn’t know how to meditate right as I could never meditate on a guru’s picture or blank my mind.

(However with the few meditations Ti and Do taught, some 10 years into being in the group I did learn to not fall asleep and to blank my mind which was a technique that comes from practice of putting up a blank card against any thoughts we don’t want to have in our heads and also from learning how to listen without having any other conversations in our heads, something that Ti and Do taught us to do as well. But with Ti and Do we never meditated on them or pictures of them or anyone else. And the meditations were given and for a short time, maybe three months it was part of the program but then became optional. Curiously one who listens to Ti and Do’s audio meeting tapes can easily be bored by their often mundane content, yet each meeting was an exercise in controlling our own minds to which their was never any test of, but because of how much someone strengthened their ability to focus and on what to focus some were right with the Ti and Do lesson steps while others fell behind and eventually left and didn’t have the same understanding of things Ti and Do spoke about because they hadn’t learned to or wanted to learn to listen well enough. I saw examples of this with x-members I visited with after I left who had a completely different understanding of the ramifications to our air and then water fast in the near Phoenix desert in around 1992 that Do ended after two weeks. I had thought we were mentally willing to exit our physical bodies then but this x-classmate didn’t think that at all. As it turned out, what I had understood was how Do was prepared to think. He felt instructions to let Ti know we were willing to do whatever it took to be ready for exit which would include picking us up or leaving our bodies as a result of the fast).

Back to my little story:

We were not happy wherever we were. We’d constantly drive or hitchhike down to California looking for a new place to live and we’d visit with friends in Berkley and San Diego. One friend was a lawyer living in Berkley heights who had a bustling drug business, but I was still very straight then so it didn’t attract me. We’d drop in on the Fillmore West as we were dead heads before they were called dead heads, so we ended up sleeping in the Ken Kesey warehouse and on the roof of the free clinic in Bezerkly. Finally in 1974 after my girlfriend had a brief affair that devastated me and I recovered and then he dumped her and I took her back, we decided to settle down and were part of a startup little commune with two other couples on a couple acres of land in Waldport, OR. I began to build a house – a teepee shape of my own haphazard design. I fell the trees that were pole size, stripped the bark and treated with creosote then gathered building materials mostly from donations and got about half way with it, while also having a nice big garden and I decided I wanted to go back to NY to visit having been gone for 5 years by then. So we hitchhiked there and a relative bought us bus tickets for the return and I visited with both our families. A month later I came out of an all nighter type of band practice party at the guitarist’s ocean view apartment and saw the same poster, Lvvody speaks about and knew I had to attend that meeting and it had nothing to do with seeing the UFO on the poster. I remember saying to my girlfriend, I want to see what these two people who claim to be from outer space will look like. I didn’t believe it was possible or impossible. And I was intrigued that the poster said that some were “giving their all to this endeavor” having to do with going to this evolutionary level above human.

At the meeting by the time Do stopped talking, that was perhaps 30 minutes, and the room had seemed to fill up with a haze that seemed to be prevalent around the stage and these Two, that I only later thought about and wondered about when I saw it again at the next meeting I attended where they spoke in Colorado maybe a month later, I knew I wanted to join and so did my girlfriend and we knew it meant our break up, but perhaps because of her affair, though I had attached to her as much as anyone one could, though not officially married I didn’t have a second thought and it had nothing to do with what she wanted to do.

And so we let our desires be known to some who were followers from the meetings they had given in Los Angeles and San Francisco months before and they gave us a phone number to call and said to put our lives in order knowing that we needed to more or less leave all behind but to keep camping equipment as they lived on the road and once again we had $50.00 to our name even after selling my drums and stuff and giving away the then broken down truck.

But before we left town, my girl fiends sister had become very upset at what her sister said we were going to do and called her dad in NY and he and her uncle and grandmother flew out the next day and met with us and tried to talk us out of it but our minds were made up. I’m sorry to say, we probably didn’t handle that well with the younger sister who had come out to Oregon to be with us having just turned 18 and she for the last year was living with a guy at a different location from us so seemed somewhat independent of us. Yet of course she wasn’t and so not able to dissuade her sister went to the police to report that our two best friends who also were going to join were “abandoning their two children”. Actually they were not the guy’s children and they were very young, I think like a 1-2 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl. The mother who was probably in her early 20’s had contacted their real dad who lived near Portland, so about a hour away from Newport and he was going to take the kids so it wasn’t an illegal abandonment (and as it turned out she, the mother only stayed in the group for maybe 6 months). But the police showed up at this couples apartment while me and my girlfriend were leaving and I was asked by the police about the report of abandoning of children to which I denied there was any such thing happening and they seemed satisfied with that which infuriated my girlfriends sister and she threatened to kill herself.

At that point we knew we needed to get out of town fast so we called the number and were told to meet at a park in Eugene, OR a hour away and like Lvvody reports it was a confusing scene with people milling all around and then there was a table with two people sitting at it in the middle of an open area so we approached and two followers greeted us and after a few questions told us to meet them ASAP in the Colorado National Monument near Fruita, CO., which we with 4 of our friends drove to and met up with Bo and Peep to begin what for me would be 19 years a dedicated student and my girlfriend 12 years before she left in 1987, a year after she and I were sent by Ti and Do together to visit both our families, over a weekend having only written once when we left as was recommended, though we also were sent for a visit in 1985 before Ti left her vehicle. My girlfriends sister didn’t try to kill herself and I apologized to her after I left the group and got in touch with her. I didn’t apologize for joining. What I was sorry about was that she suffered because of our choices. She and her sister as of a few years ago weren’t really on talking terms and she has had no interest in talking with me further.

Anyway, I don’t know what Lvvody was exactly feeling while being recorded but one might notice that Do didn’t try to hide that and I’m sure it crossed his mind that some would see that and come up with their own conclusions and would be wrong but he felt like it still needed to be included as one of the “exit videos” so those seeing it could believe what they wanted to believe, the same reason they allow the Luciferian space aliens to keep on presenting their ideas and agenda’s to humans, which is where this entire environmental push to “save the planet and mankind” is coming from, along with the space race and the nuke energy push for weapons and power supplies.

But if I were to guess at what Lvvody might have been feeling it would be “love” and a hope that some watching what they were about to do, could recognize what she knew was and is the “greatest story ever told”, in the arrival of the Two Older Members, the Older One having given the name Jehovah (I Am or Existing One), then Father from/in the literal Heavens/sky/outer space, then Ti with the One who was Adam, Enoch, Moses, Elijah, Jesus and then Do as The Representatives from the Kingdom of physical Evolutionarly Above Human Beings who literally were part of the detailed design and development team of the Earth and the entire Universe, with their student litter, the true Saints being “born of spirit/soul” before our eyes.

So take a look at what she wrote and judge for yourself but I caution you against hasty decisions as we are all held accountable to the Kingdom of God/Heaven according to what we are provided and what we do with what we are provided. She wrote:

Ingredients of a Deposit — Becoming a New Creature By Lvvody

As the world becomes more aware of our presence and the information we are leaving behind, we know we have to anticipate being confronted with the typical “anti-cult” accusations and condemnations that will be made about us – particularly those aimed at our Teachers, Ti and Do.  The majority of the media (whose degree of commentary and biased judgment has gotten completely corrupted and out of control), plus the righteous religious, the government/law-enforcement agencies, and cult-awareness groups, will most likely quickly jump to defend the “accepted (Luciferian) norm” by trying to convince the masses to believe that the students of Ti and Do must be “weak-minded” individuals who had nothing going for them in this world, or that they were duped or brainwashed by two mesmerizing, charismatic cult leaders.  For, surely, no one in their right mind would willingly join a “cult” in the first place, let alone stay in one for over twenty years – throwing away the precious opportunity for participating in family, career, and all the other “normal” pursuits in the human kingdom.

     Nothing could be further from the truth.  I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Ti and Do are two Older Members, two Representatives from the Next Level – the Evolutionary Kingdom Level Above Human, the Kingdom of God.  I know that all the ways and behavior, all the procedures and instructions, and all the knowledge and wisdom taught to us by Ti and Do are not available or taught anywhere else on the planet.  It is clearly beyond human.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have had a previous relationship with them before – that I (the soul that has taken over and now occupies this human body I am wearing) have had previous nurturing by Ti and Do during prior visitations to this “garden,” including the Next Level’s presence in this civilization approximately 2000 years ago (just two days ago Next Level time).

     How do I know this?  It’s not only because Ti and Do have told me so.  It’s also because of proof from personal experience.  I recognize this information.  It’s as though I was already familiar with it.  For example, part of Ti and Do’s task during this mission was to restore the truth of how a soul may literally make the transition from the human kingdom into the true Heavenly Kingdom, after having overcome humanness – and how this metamorphic process can only be done under the direct supervision of Representatives of the Kingdom of Heaven and only while these Reps or Teachers are incarnate in a human “vehicle” or body.  They alone possess the hidden knowledge of “how Members of the Next Level are born,” and that it requires breaking all ties with the human kingdom, and shedding all human-mammalian behavior and thinking.

     This is the same formula taught by the Representative who was here approximately 2000 years ago, the one religions refer to as Jesus.  He told His disciples to go and preach, saying, “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.”  “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except by me.”  What this meant was, “I’m here.  I am the one who was sent by my Father to offer you the way out of the human kingdom.  Only I have the formula of how to get to heaven – how you have to leave everything behind, including your own life in this world, and come and follow me and be my disciple.”  He made it very clear that separating from the world and having a “personal relationship” with Him, while He was incarnate in a human body, was a requirement and the only way to prepare for entering the next Kingdom. “My sheep know my voice and they follow me.”

     Before His departure, He knew that His disciples hadn’t overcome the world sufficiently to go with Him, so He told them that He would come back for them again at the end of the Age.  That time is now.  It is the end of the Age.  The same mind, the same knowledge of the Next Level that was present 2000 years ago is here again, as was promised – in the Two Older Members of the Next Level who were sent – Ti and Do. And many of those students/disciples who were present with the Representative 2000 years ago are back now, with Ti and Do, to pick up where they left off during their last mission to this civilization.           How does this Recognition work?  Where does it come from?  In Do’s most recent written statements, Undercover Jesus Surfaces Before Departure and ’95 Statement by an ET Presently Incarnate, he goes into a lot of detail describing deposits.  What is a deposit?  It is potentially the “gift” of life into the real physical Evolutionary Level Above Human.  A deposit can be described as an “implant,” or a “chip,” or a tiny fragment or “seed” of Next Level mind that is deposited into a human plant by members of the Next Level.  The nature of any deposit – the “program” it contains – will vary depending on who the recipient is.

     A first-time deposit contains the beginning of a “soul” – which is the new “container” or receptacle for Next Level mind, and is the beginning of a new creature.   In other words, if the Next Level determines that an individual has a potential for goodness and deserves the opportunity to be given a chance to be nourished by them, and if they choose to offer it the choice to become a future member of the Next Evolutionary Level, they make a “deposit” that contains a soul with a very small amount of Next Level information – it’s like a tiny Next Level fetus.  The program in that deposit contains a “chip” of recognition of a Rep who is presently incarnate, and the capacity to believe that what that Rep or Teacher says is true.  If that new soul chooses to believe that Rep and to bond to him, is thirsty, and exerts all his effort to take in the mind that is being offered to him, then at the end of that visitation, that soul will be “saved” or “put on ice” for a future time, when it can be brought back into a garden such as Earth when a Rep will be incarnate again, and continue where it left off in its previous time of growth or nourishment until it is sufficiently weaned or separated from the human kingdom.

     When a soul is a “returnee,” that is, it is brought back (to continue in its overcoming and nurturing that it had begun previously) at a time when Reps will be present again, the program in the deposit it receives will be more advanced.  The deposit will be a match for the degree of advancement of that soul as well as a match for the handicaps of the particular human vehicle (body) it will be occupying – for these handicaps offer it the opportunity for the additional lessons it needs.  This deposit would most likely contain: *    a “chip” of recognition of the Reps of the Level Above Human that      would be sent, *    the capability to recognize the information regarding the      existence of the true Kingdom of God, *    a fragment of Next Level mind that finds its recipient wanting to      break ties with the world and seek out the Teachers or Representatives      that are presently incarnate, *    the wisdom to discern what isn’t true as the recipient is lead      through experiences prior to connecting with the Rep, *    the early stages of loss of respect for the world and its systems      – family, government, religion, money, etc., *    a feeling like, “I don’t fit here,” “I hate this corrupt world,”      or “I just want to go home to God.”

[Jesus was referring to the deposit when He said,  “No one comes to Me unless the Father Who sent Me attracts and draws him and gives him the desire to come to Me, and I will raise him up at the last day.”  John 6:44.]

     If  “I” – the identity – am the soul – containing Next Level mind, then this borrowed human body I am wearing is not me.  It was “tagged” with a deposit by Members of the Next Level and set aside for my use for this task, and “I” probably had a very off-and-on relationship with the body, according to the instructions given to me and my invisible Next Level helpers – at a briefing aboard a spacecraft prior to coming into this atmosphere.  Most of the soul (containing Next Level mind), was outside the vehicle, and the deposit wasn’t really activated until the time-capsule program was set in motion – to make contact with the two incarnate Representatives from the Kingdom of Heaven, Ti and Do.

     Humans, for the most part, identify as being the body they are wearing.  Most of their entire life is preoccupied with the physical body – because they assume that is who they are (out of ignorance – due to the distorted truths and misinformation imposed on them by society – unknowingly under the guidance of the “Luciferian” space aliens).  They dwell on the appearance of the body, its physical condition, its consuming, its relationships, its ties and responsibilities to others, and many get their greatest satisfaction from the end results of reproduction.  But we are not the body we are wearing.  It is simply a plant, a “container” for our spirit (or mind).  If you think of the body as the hardware, the spirit is like the software.  The spirit in the human plant is made up of a combination of: a) the genetic emanations of the vehicle, resulting from the many experiences of that genetic strain; b) the summation of its experiences and effects from its environment during the present lifetime; c) and the influence of discarnates (out of body spirits) that like to time-share the use of our body with us.  Most humans in this civilization are simply a plant containing a spirit that really has no “life” in it, for without any Next Level mind there is no life information.  Only a “soul” contains pure Next Level mind – knowledge of the true Kingdom of God and the potential of having a future, and no human has a “soul” which contains life unless it has been deposited in them by Members of the Next Level.  Only the Next Level can deposit “souls” in the human kingdom, and this only occurs during the “seasons” that the Next Level comes in close – around the time of their visitations.

     Thus, when the Next Level picks the human bodies (containing spirits) that we (Ti, Do, and crew) must enter into as we begin this task of “incarnating,” the body that we will be borrowing (and eventually taking over) has in a sense a mind of its own – made up of all the desires and awarenesses of its genetic background.  It has its own likes and dislikes, its desires to indulge in addictions and pleasures, lots of misinformation concepts, strong ties and responsibilities to other human plants it’s related to, and even seemingly positive desires, like wanting to be a good humanitarian or “be a good human.”  When the Next Level “tags” a human vehicle for a returning soul to use – which means the deposit is “implanted” – then confusion and conflict set in between the desires of the vehicle (and the spirits that associate with it) and the desires of the Next Level mind contained in the deposit, that says (mostly in the subconscious), “It’s time to sever all those ties, it’s time to stop indulging in that human-mammalian behavior, wake up, there’s a task you have to do, the truth is simple, you’ve got to find your teachers”!

     To illustrate how real this deposit is, I’d like to briefly illustrate how it worked for me.  The vehicle that I was about to take over began showing obvious symptoms of having a “deposit” in the early to mid-70’s.  First it was mainly feeling a “presence” and having strong thoughts of wondering, “What am I supposed to do?  What do you want me to do”? while feeling very close to and wanting to talk to God in my silence.  Usually, without warning, the vehicle would suddenly have thoughts like, “I’m not one of these. Who are these primitive people”?  For a few years it went through wanting to become a nun (assuming religion was where the truth should be found), to later giving up traditional religion and searching out other religions and philosophies – but nothing seemed right.  The vehicle hitch-hiked through other nations to explore other cultures, and across the U.S., losing interest in the traditional medical career and investigating alternative health care, new-age, and on and on.  Still wondering, “What on Earth am I doing here”? and begging God to “Please show me, what am I supposed to do”?  Sometimes the vehicle’s impulses were very strong in regard to all the typical indulgences of the 70’s, and at times another voice would speak up and it would seem so clear that celibacy was the right thing, drugs had to go, and the idea of marriage and kids seemed totally out of the question.  There was an increasing sense of urgency to leave the East coast and get to Oregon. Every deposit has a different program, but looking back, I can see clearly how this vehicle was so carefully led through a series of experiences that eventually led it to show up at a meeting by the Two in Waldport, Oregon on September 14, 1975.

     The day before the Waldport meeting was when I had my first contact with anything connected to Ti and Do.  A friend and I thought we were going to a musical event a few hours away in Eugene, but it was canceled.  Instead we ended up walking around town and went into a bookstore.  That moment changed my life.  I was looking at a poster announcing a public meeting.  It was titled “UFO’s,” which hadn’t really meant that much to me previously.  But then I read on: “Two individuals say they are about to leave the human level and literally (physically) enter the next evolutionary level.  Followers of ‘The Two’ will discuss how the transition from the human level to the Next Level is accomplished and when this may be done.”  Wow!  It felt like a bolt of electricity went right through me.  An alarm went off in my head – like a sudden unconscious recognition of something very familiar, and it was already seeming clear that I’d found what I was looking for.  It was as though that combination of words used on the poster was a key that unlocked something inside me.  When that mind deposit is activated, the little program in there that is identifying as “you” – that was started some time ago – starts identifying as “you” again – because it is you.  We drove toward Waldport that night.

     A statement written by Ti and Do was passed out to everyone as we arrived at the meeting in Waldport.  As I read it, and as I listened to Ti and Do speak, I (the deposit – containing my soul made up of Next Level mind) immediately recognized the information and my Teachers.  Something inside me knew, “This is it!  This is what I’m here for.  The truth is simple.”  The Two had it all summed up on one typed page – the whole truth.  I couldn’t believe it.  All the pieces of the puzzle fit together.  A part of that one page statement read:                …a human who seeks only to become a member of his      next evolutionary kingdom may become a member of that      kingdom if he completely overcomes all the aspects and      influences of the human level providing he has found favor      with a member of that next level who will direct him through      his metamorphosis…the human can complete this changeover      only before his death as a human…                …There are two individuals here now who have also      come from that kingdom, incarnate as humans, awakened…They      are sent from the same kingdom by the “Father” to bear the      same truth that was Jesus’…restore its accurate      meaning…Those who believe this process and do it will be      “lifted up” individually and “saved” from death –      literally…        There was quite a crowd at a follow-up meeting in Eugene a day or two later, and amidst an atmosphere of chaos, fear, and confusion – I looked up to the heavens and said to whoever was guiding and watching over me – “I’m incapable of judging this – I’m in your hands – Please show me what to do – If this is right, you make it happen.”  Within a few minutes, a couple of followers of the Two motioned to me to come over to them and asked some questions.  I guess they could sense my sincerity, because they gave me a piece of paper with a destination written on it of where to meet them next.

     Several hundred miles away, and a few days later, after having “walked out the door of the vehicle’s life,” I rendezvoused with the group and spoke to Ti and Do for the first time.  I remember the moment as clear as a bell.  We were at a campground on a high mesa in Colorado, and Ti and Do were sitting in a couple of lawn chairs, meeting individually with the new prospective students who came out of the Waldport meeting.  As I approached them, Ti asked, “How can we help you”?  This vehicle was speechless at first, and I remember so clearly that the impulse I had was to want to drop to my knees and cover my eyes.  The only way I can describe it is the way it interpreted through this vehicle’s computer, colored by its old religious programming – because it felt like I was standing before my Lord, my God.  They seemed so familiar, but the thought I had was, “It seems so strange to see you in these human bodies.”  (Like normally, where we come from, where they occupy heavenly bodies, I wouldn’t be able to gaze upon them.)  All this was going through my head while I was trying to think of something to say.  We talked a few moments. The point is, it was pretty clear that I had known them previously, but not in these human bodies or “suits of clothes,” and that their minds were much older and wiser than I could even begin to comprehend. That night we all camped together and I slept outside watching the stars.  I was so thankful, so elated, so relieved, that I was home, with my true family – my soul family.  Now that I was connected with my Teachers, I knew I was safe – in their hands and the Next Level’s safe-keeping.  There was no more fear.  The best way I know to describe how I felt was, “My joy no man can take away.”

     For those who may be quick to judge that Ti and Do are two con- artists who deceived these innocent students into following them, whether for personal ego or for monetary gain, or any other reason you might conjure up, you’re gravely mistaken.  I am not an innocent victim.  It is beyond any doubt to me that we students and our Teachers are not from this world, but from the Level Above Human.  We had a task to come to this garden and incarnate into these borrowed adult human bodies that were “tagged” with a deposit and set aside for us, and abort all human mind, while replacing it by filling the soul with the mind of the Next Level as taught to us by our Teachers.  Then as the Next Level mind increases – and the soul begins to grow larger – the soul becomes a new “physical body” (invisible to humans because it’s of a higher vibration) – a newborn – in a new species.  This is being “born again” in the truest sense.  If the soul has grown sufficiently that the mind it contains is a match for the conduct and ways of that Next Kingdom, the true Kingdom of God, then that soul – new creature – will be issued a new “outer shell” or more advanced suit of clothes (“glorified body”) upon physically entering the Next Level, when we shed this human container at the conclusion of our task here.  The Level Above Human is a genderless Kingdom, and it is through this “metamorphic process” that it “reproduces” or adds to its Kingdom membership.  To complete this metamorphosis usually requires more than one period of visitation from the Level Above Human.  For example, we feel that probably all the students of Ti and Do were given their initial deposit some time ago, during prior visitations from Next Level Representatives.  As long as those souls continued to look to their source of nourishment and remain loyal and faithful, then they were “put on ice,” so to speak, in the keeping of the Next Level, between visitations, to be re-deposited and again connect with and seek the nurturing from a Rep during the next visitation.

     Now, at the close of the Age, all souls who have ever been given a deposit by the Next Level during any part of this present civilization, are back – incarnate again.  Even those who may have “fallen away” at one time, have a new opportunity to be restored. Those human plants who do not have a deposit will not even be capable of comprehending what we say, but there may be many human plants out there who have been given a deposit by Members of the Next Level for the first time, and will be able to recognize that what we are saying is true and the only thing that makes any sense to them.  How an individual responds to us and our information will determine whether they will have a future, and a further relationship with the Next Level.  In other words, coming in contact with this information will force a decision for all with souls (whether new deposits or returnees) and the stand they individually take will judge or determine their future.

     For several months in late ’75 and early ’76 while still holding meetings, searching for the rest of the crew who came with Ti and Do from the Next Level, many of us only saw Ti and Do a couple of times. Quite a few new followers dropped out during that time, and we now understand why.  It was because some were simply curiosity seekers, some were humans (without a deposit) just looking for an adventure, and some were part of the crew who came to be with Ti and Do on this mission and had a deposit, but found the disciplines to be too difficult – because they weren’t successful in overriding the desires of the vehicle they were wearing.  However, many followers did survive this early weeding-out process.  These are those who had deposits – who had a strong sense of knowing that they were sent here at this time to do a task, and had a strong recognition of Ti and Do and the information they brought.

     It was in late June/early July of 1976 that Ti and Do gathered all their surviving new students/disciples together in Medicine Bow National Forest in Wyoming.  Here is where the intensive “classroom” for learning Next Level ways and behavior began.  This is when Ti and Do really began taking us through the process of “incarnating” – what Ti and Do must have told us a million times before we finally began to grasp it – how to “get your mind into your vehicle.”

                                                        March 16, 1996

                        Appendix A  –  Page 5

Incarnating and Discarnating

December 20, 2013

Incarnating and Discarnating       By Jnnody

        When a man asked Jesus, “What shall I do that I may inherit eternal life”?  Jesus said, “You know the commandments,” and named several.  The man said he had observed them from youth.  Jesus then told him he lacked one thing:  “Sell what you have, give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in Heaven, and come take up the cross and follow me.”  The man didn’t feel that he could do that.  The point is that Jesus, as a Representative of the Kingdom of God, did not say, “After you die, you will go to Heaven, if you believe on Me.”  Jesus knew that wasn’t true because He brought the formula for getting into the Kingdom of Heaven, which He told this man.  Jesus also knew of the presence of discarnate spirits, for He cast out many.  So, if a human does not go to Heaven after death, and there are discarnate spirits that circulate on the planet, then what is the missing piece to the puzzle?  Perhaps this discussion will help fill in the gap.         We feel that planet Earth is a garden.  The Kingdom of God designed and created it, and planted it with a variety of life forms, including human, and tends it as the Gardeners.  The only harvest that is of any significance to that Kingdom is the harvest of souls.  Human bodies are just containers designed for those souls.  Those containers also serve as the lesson ground for those souls.  We also feel that the human condition was intended only as a transitional training ground – a proving ground for potential new members of the Kingdom of Heaven.  The creatures (the bodies and their spirits) on the planet were created with all the free-will options of:  a) going awry, separating from God, amounting to nothing, and being recycled;  b) overcoming the human condition and leaving it by becoming members in God’s Kingdom; or  c) becoming part of the opposition and fulfilling that part of the design.           The “Kingdom of God,” the “Evolutionary Level Above Human,” the “Next Level,” and the “Kingdom of Heaven” are all synonymous terms for the same advanced level of existence above the human kingdom.  This Next Level – the Kingdom of God – is a many-membered Kingdom, a physical level of existence in deepest space (outside of man’s concept of time) beyond this human level – advanced physically, technologically, behaviorally, ethically, genetically, and in the wisdom and knowledge of service in the Creator’s world.  When we refer to the “opposition,” we speak of groups of space aliens (historically referred to as Satan and his angels, whom we call “Luciferians” – slightly advanced, human-equivalent races).  They reside in the near heavens, and use and abuse Earth and its inhabitants for their own ends (biological and mineral resources, genetic manipulation, and winning souls to their side).  One major difference between the Next Level members and the Luciferians is that members of the Evolutionary Level Above Human are genderless.           Entry into the Kingdom of God or the Next Level does not automatically occur at death of the body (vehicle), regardless of the seeming “goodness” of that individual’s life.  The Next Level increases their membership (in the Kingdom of Heaven) through a metamorphic process, by periodically offering to humans who “catch their eye,” an opportunity to become containers – be the “wombs” – for new creatures of the Next Level (potential new members in their world).  A soul must enter that Kingdom consciously, only after a classroom period of learning the ways and behavior of the Level Above Human, and dropping human ways and behavior, while in the physical presence and tutorship of a Representative(s) sent from that Kingdom. The point is that souls who can make that transition have to consciously know the truth (the facts) about where they are going, what they had to leave behind, and who they are following (that Representative) through the transition into that Kingdom.  This is the only “future” (life) that is available to humans, for periodically, the garden is “spaded under” in preparation for another “cycle” of a human civilization.  At that time all those who have not been “set aside” by the Kingdom of God will be part of the recycling or “spading under.”         What is LIFE and what is DEATH?  Who gives life and who takes it? The inhabitants of this garden, including humans, are considered “plants” in the eyes of the Kingdom of God.  The human body (which we often refer to as the “plant”) is a perennial offshoot of a living strain, a “container,” and is really of no consequence to the Next Level as far as life or death is concerned.  The Representative who came 2000 years ago said, “And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; but rather be afraid of Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”           We define life and death as it relates to the body, the spirit, the soul, and the mind in somewhat different terms than are commonly used.  One premise is that every human creature (“plant”) has a body, and that body has its own spirit/mind.    The Body

     The body (the flesh and bones) is the temporary “suit of clothes,” a container, a “vehicle” for the “spirit.”  If we make the analogy to a computer, then the body is the hard drive or hardware, and the spirit is the software – the informational mind.  Another good analogy is to see the body/vehicle as a car and the spirit as the driver.  The car’s design and capabilities are specific to the kind of car it is.  But it still takes the “mind” behind the wheel to make the car function as it was designed.  Most humans identify with the physical vehicle (body), while members of Our Father’s Kingdom identify with or as the soul.  What you see in the mirror (the body) – is not “you.”  The spirit is the real “you” and continues to live in the spirit world after the body dies, with your memories, programming, habits, and addictions.           There is a very real, physical, genetic, ancestral strain that is like a vine, with each vehicle (body) like the leaves.  When a body “dies,” the family “vine” is not seriously affected, any more than a botanical plant is that affected when one of its leaves falls.  Like the perennial cycle of the plant, which in its season grows, blossoms, goes to seed, then withers and dies, the human cycle is much the same. Being perennial, the rootstock is not affected by the “death” of an individual plant, or more accurately, a part of the plant, at the end of its season.           Each human vehicle has in its genes what amounts to the sum of the genetic information that has accumulated and been passed down from its ancestors since the beginning of that strain – all their positive and negative characteristics, weaknesses, potential diseases, strengths, addictions, talents, ways of thinking, as well as physical traits of appearance, coloring, etc.  The genes are like computer chips that store information.  This genetic programming amounts to the body’s programming – giving it “a mind of its own.”  It has its own desires – kind of like a living computer that doesn’t ever quite shut down, even when it’s in a sleep state.  It has desires that manifest in ways of wanting certain foods, certain experiences, or certain habits or pleasures that it has been subjected to by its own inherited genetic programming, the environment around it or time-share spirits (which will be discussed next).  Inherited genetic characteristics or programming unfold in a time-capsule progression as the body matures from infant to old age.  What any individual does, affects their  genetic strain, and is physically passed on if they have offspring or if they influence another’s actions or thinking.  Repetitive behavior is stamped or recorded on the genes and that preference is passed down to offspring.  The saving grace is that also through repetition the genes can be “reprogrammed” and addictive behavior and negative characteristics can be turned around – that is, can be licked and thereby not passed down, or is passed on as “controlled.”           One additional point:  A child does not “belong” to the parent(s), any more than the apple belongs to the tree.  A parent cannot say, “You are my child – you have to take care of me when I get old,” any more than the tree can say to the farmer, “That is  my apple,” when the farmer comes along to pick it.

The Spirit

     It could be said that a spirit is born each time a vehicle (body) is born, and progresses in its development, knowledge, programming, and identity along with the vehicle (body).  In other words, the spirit grows in exact parallel to the vehicle’s growth, and as the vehicle’s consciousness is affected by genetic characteristics and its environment, the spirit takes on that information, that “software.” The spirit normally leaves the vehicle at its termination and continues to live in the spirit world.  The only exception to this is when a soul leaves the human environment and goes to the real world of the Next Level, with a Representative of that Level.  If a young child- body dies, a young child-spirit is born into the “discarnate world” – a spirit is nothing more, nothing less than the intelligent programming sum content of the mind (both conscious and subconscious) of the biological container (body) before its demise.  So, where the individual’s consciousness is – where his trust and beliefs are – at the termination of his body, that is where his consciousness will be when he enters the spirit world.         As spirits from the discarnate world move into a vehicle, they are “incarnating,” – an “invading” spirit moves in of its own accord, either to time-share or in an attempt to take over and claim the vehicle as its own.  When these spirits move out of a body they are “discarnating.”  The spirit finds itself without or outside of a body as a result of death or incapacitation of the body (such as a coma), or when, as a “time-share” discarnate, it moves out of a body. Discarnates do not incarnate or move into a host body at the birth of the body.  They only come in when what they are interested in can be accomplished by the functional capabilities of the plant.  Therefore, reincarnation at birth, in the sense that many religions believe, is a completely inaccurate concept.  A spirit is born with the body – any reincarnation or incarnation would be done by “invading” spirits who would attempt to use the body for their own satisfaction or purposes.         Without a vehicle, the spirit is not able to experience sensation – a vehicle (with its sense of taste, touch, feeling, pleasure, smell, etc.) is required.  Because the spirit is left with the same consciousness it had while in a vehicle, then the addictions it had are also still active.  In order to satisfy those desires, the spirit finds it must enter a vehicle and talk the body into, or con the body into, carrying out its wishes.  Since it appears that each time a vehicle is born, a new spirit is born, and when the vehicle is terminated, a new spirit enters the discarnate, this means that for every vehicle (body) that has been born since the beginning of this civilization, that same number of spirits are presently in the discarnate or spirit world.  At this point in the civilization, most humans tolerate, if not depend on, several unseen occupants, in a “time-share” arrangement, in addition to their own rightful spirit – the mind emanation of the body.  Many of these discarnates are deceased family members who remain close to the family strain.  Some spirits become bitter after losing their vehicle, because the spirit world is not up to their expectations.  Others, who expect to “go to Heaven” see the spirit world as “heaven,” and other spirits as angels. These spirits will sometimes act in a guardian-angel role.         For the most part, these time-share discarnates could be seen as helpful – some assisting with career, others with romance, or sports, or homemaking, and so on.  “Inspiration” (in-spirit-ation) is nothing more than ideas given by discarnates.  The more prominent a person is, the greater the number of discarnates and the stronger their presence is.  In that sense, the “plant” or the host body becomes more of a “medium” for discarnates with ambitious agendas.  What, in general, is accepted as the “personality” of an individual is made up of the combined characteristics of the participating discarnates along with the host’s own spirit/software.  Most, if not all, humans host multiple time-share discarnates, but it is when these discarnates are inharmonious or dissimilar that they are more easily recognized and seen as problematic. When this occurs, the individuals are often spoken of as having “multiple personalities” or “schizophrenia,” in human clinical circles.  “Past-life readings” might reveal the story- telling of time-share discarnates, but in reality, the concept of “past lives” is not at all reliable.  If past-life readings were accurate, how do you explain the thousands of people who have claimed to be “King Tut,” Cleopatra, Jesus, John the Baptist, etc.?  One of the dangers we see with past-life readings is that the questions posed by the past-life reader open the door to old discarnates who you might have previously risen above or run away.  Opening those doors pulls those discarnates back, and the possibility exists that you might have to deal with those serious problems or hurdles again.         If the vehicle/spirit is permissive and it adopts the behavior of the “time-share” spirit as something it wants to continue with and chooses to repeat, that behavior becomes a part of its own programming or “software package.”  In other words, the behavior and desires of the time-share spirit are added to the program/consciousness of the spirit that belongs to the vehicle.  The invading human-level spirit cannot learn lessons from its influence on, or use of a vehicle, though the vehicle/spirit can learn and change.  An “invading” spirit(s), because of its strength, can dominate the behavior of the vehicle.  However, any vehicle/spirit that is strong enough can choose to resist the “influence” of any potential time-share spirit.         An interesting observation is that as an individual’s body grows older and becomes less exciting to the invading or time-share spirits, those spirits leave and move into other younger vehicles, taking with them the influence of their interests and talents.  The personality of the aging individual then appears to wane and lose incentive.  In a similar way, if someone has been imprisoned (for a violent act, for example), the pleasures most spirits would enjoy would not be available in prison, but the animal, more base situation of the prison would invite other spirits to cohabit in that vehicle.  The irony is that for death-row inmates, for example, you can kill the body of the person who committed the crime, but you’re doing nothing but shoving those violent, time-share spirits that influenced that human to commit the crime, into a condition of taking over another plant (body).  In other words, you haven’t solved the problem at all – the spirit has made a fool of you.  You may have only hastened the spirit’s activities by freeing it from its imprisoned body, enabling it to go outside the prison and find a free, willing body in order to murder again.  Killing the bodies only frees the spirits.         How many life forms move into the discarnate?  It is very possible that every living creature on the planet has a spirit.  A spirit is as physical as the wind or as breath – when it is still you don’t notice it, but when it begins to move you notice it.  For example, the spirits of the herds of buffalo or dinosaurs that roamed the land continue to roam, with the consciousness of the mass (weight) of the vehicle they wore.  They can come together, en masse, and stampede as a strong wind.  The winds that roar through at times could likely be those spirits acting according to their “programming” to migrate.  On the other hand, the spirits of insects can still be pesky to humans, and lower life form spirits (plant and insect) may have varying degrees of negative, destructive influence on humans, as parasitic spirits causing diseases.    The Mind

     We define mind as “collective information.”  Many humans define mind as the brain, which is confusing and inaccurate.  All “mind,” or information, comes from two sources (though it certainly would not be recognized as such):  a) the Next Level – the Kingdom of God, or  b) the opposition – the Lower Forces – Lucifer, Satan, or the Luciferians and their naive servants.  Hence, the concept of truth vs. falsehood, genuine vs. counterfeit.  That “collective information,” or mind, is what fills the “container” and eventually determines whose side you are on or which “world” or evolutionary level you are a part of – one leads to a real Heaven, the other leads nowhere or to eventual annihilation.  Only Next Level mind has life-giving nourishment (potentially everlasting).  All information other than that which comes from the Kingdom of God has no life or life-giving qualities (has no opportunity for an actual future).  You can build on Next Level “mind” in like manner to building on computer software.         When speaking of the Trinity – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – the “Holy Spirit,” or “Holy Ghost,” refers to the mind, the information, the Truth or facts from the Next Level (which includes instructions and procedures appropriate to the Kingdom of Heaven). The word “Holy” designates the Next Level quality of information that is in that mind.  Another term indicating the source as being from the Level Above Human is “Divine.”  These are appropriate usages by humans when referring to the Next Level.  However, when today’s so-called Christians say they are “filled with the Holy Ghost,” it is almost blasphemous, from our point of view – it usually means nothing more than a visit from disembodied Earth-bound spirits (showmen, at that).    The Soul

     What is Life?  Life is something that is sustainable, has a future, can go on.  If you have life that is sustainable, you therefore potentially have eternal life.  But, if you have information that leads to your end – if from your perspective you can see the end, then you have “bought” a “death software package.”  All software packages other than that of the Kingdom of God – the Next Level – leads to your end.  There is no “sustainable future” to be found in this world, it is found only in the Next Level.  The human vehicle/spirit is a plant – a very temporal plant.  Just because the human plant has movement, noise, and activity does not mean it has sustainable life; any more than a robot, just because it has energy – whether solar or electric – and temporary activity, has life.  Life is an ingredient that is missing in a garden, except when an individual of the Next Level brings it in, plants it, and nourishes it.  And that ingredient always has potential sustainability – even unlimited.         The Kingdom of God, being a genderless Kingdom, “reproduces” or adds to its Kingdom membership through the use of a metamorphic process.  The metamorphic “birth” into the Level Above Human occurs as follows:  In any given civilization on a fertile planet such as Earth (and Earth has had many periodic/cyclical civilizations), the Level Above Human plants new life forms (including humans) for that civilization in a neutral condition so that they have a limited option to choose the direction of their growth.  (Though at times the Next Level permits some space-alien groups to do some planting as well.) The Level Above Human directly (hands on) relates significantly to the civilization at its beginning stage, and subsequently (with few exceptions) at approximately 2000-year intervals (approximately 48 hours from a Next Level perspective) until that civilization’s final “Age” or “harvest.”         Each time the Next Level relates directly to any portion of that civilization, “deposits” containing “souls” (the “seed” or “chip” with a program of metamorphic possibilities) are placed in many human plants.  This deposit is potentially the “gift of life” into the physical and real Evolutionary Level Above Human.  These deposits are given or deposited only when members of the Next Level are assigned to directly relate to (be incarnate in) the civilization.  Only these Representatives can “nurture” those soul deposits with Next Level thinking, behavior, and all the information required to effectively “fluff off” all human/mammalian ways.  If a “seed” (deposit) has not been planted in the vehicle/spirit, then the vehicle/spirit is simply a temporary container.  A human being is significant for the first time, from the Kingdom of God’s point of view, when a new creature of the Next Level begins – when germination has begun – the “deposit” being the seed and the information (mind) from the Next Level being what germinates the seed.         As we mentioned earlier, the human vehicle/spirit, for the most part, is connected to the family vine of its ancestors (that vine is its root system) and draws a significant amount of its sustenance from that vine.  When a human vehicle/spirit is given a soul deposit, an actual new creature has its beginning.  In order to survive, this new creature must draw its sustenance (nourishment) from the Next Level – meaning it must break its ties to the vehicular family vine and literally “graft” to the family vine of the Next Level.  That new creature has to desire to learn and willfully has to “draw” or “feed” (be nourished with information) from the Next Level in order to sustain its life.         This “soul program” has the potential to become an “encasement” for Next Level mind or information that can develop into a physical body more “subtle” or less dense (from a human physics perspective) than the human body.  The more Next Level mind the soul brings in, while it simultaneously aborts from the vehicle all mind that is not of the Next Level, the stronger, the larger, the less subtle that body, or membrane encasement, becomes.  When it starts to grow, it becomes physical (though not easily discernible by human analysis) – a new inner body.  If the individual continues in his growth, becoming viable and a match for a vehicle (body) of that Next Kingdom, then when the human flesh body is “dropped,” that soul or “inner body” will have a chance to move into a Next Level body (vehicle or suit of clothes) that has been prepared specifically for it.  It might be possible that when the soul is “ripe” or “viable” with sufficient Next Level mind, it has become what could be called a Next Level body without its outer shell or suit of clothes.  (A spirit that has not been given a “soul deposit” or the potential for this encasement is of a different quality altogether and has not begun to grow a Next Level body.)  If a soul finds favor with the Kingdom of Heaven, it is put “on ice” to be replanted in a garden like Earth at a specific future time in the civilization’s development.  At that time, a vehicle would be given a deposit and set aside for that soul’s use.  That chip or deposit would be different for the “returnee” – a different program and different capacity – than was given as a “first time” deposit.  (See also point number 10 in the “’95 Statement by an E.T. Presently Incarnate”, Section 1, Page 4.)         That “soul program” makes advancement beyond the human kingdom possible, and includes a “separate-from-the-world” program.  It also allows the soul to go places, survive in certain extensions of the “corral” (nearby space) that spirits without souls are not allowed to go.  So, the space aliens seek out souls with deposits, particularly those who have been in this classroom.  If a soul turns the other way when it comes in contact with Next Level information or the Representative, then the germination of the Next Level body does not occur, and the soul, for all intents and purposes, is of no worth to the Next Level, and is “dead.”  It has made its choice not to be of service (usually because of the reluctance or slowness to relinquish human characteristics and ties), and the Next Level has no use or place for it.  But to the space aliens, it’s a good product – it is a “wise” product because it is not interested in the Next Level’s information and is advanced beyond the naive human world.  This means that every space alien had once received a deposit and was once a student or potential student of the Next Level, but chose to go against them, or away from them at the least.         So, the only proper application of the term “death” is the termination of the soul, and only the Kingdom of God can kill the soul.  Therefore, the human body does not experience “death” – it can be terminated or “dropped.”  Dying gets you nowhere (in terms of a Heaven).  The Next Level even controls the time a vehicle spends on the planet, and when that end time comes, something in the vehicle breaks down which is labeled “heart disease,” “cancer,” etc.  It is out of ignorance that humans would say someone “died” instead of “they dropped their vehicle.”  The concepts of the spirit world and dropping the body are not well accepted in the Christian U.S., though many so- called “less-civilized” cultures know it as fact.         Recently, Dr. Kevorkian stood trial for helping terminally ill individuals “drop their vehicles.”  At the trial it was never brought up that the individual – the spirit – cannot be killed by other humans (or even space aliens).  Those terminally ill individuals, whom Kevorkian helped, had faith that they would continue on, with relief from the pain and breakdown of the vehicle they were wearing.  It certainly is their right to do so.  It seems obvious that no one really believes that they are the spirit/soul, or euthanasia wouldn’t be an issue.  We stand for a liberal euthanasia program – if someone wants to drop their vehicle, they should have a right to do so.  Why is it honorable to die for your country, serving whatever regime is in power, but not for other or higher reasons?  And why should governments have the power to sentence humans to “death” as if their authority is equal to or above God’s?  Or, why is it right to “kill” a “plant” in the womb?  There is “plant” life in the male and in the female, and when they come together it is still “plant” life.  There was “life” before the womb – it does not just begin at conception or birth.         Jesus was not a religious man.  He was a man from the only real potential future – in another world, an evolutionarily advanced level of existence – the Next Level.  He incarnated into a human vehicle (down an evolutionary notch – the equivalent of a human soul incarnating into a dog’s vehicle).  He had overcome the human level at a distantly previous time.  “Jesus” did not incarnate into the body of a newborn babe.  The vehicle was simply tagged for His use at a later time when it had grown and developed enough for His advanced mind to be able to use it.  He left his vehicle in the Level Above Human and incarnated into the vehicle that was named “Jesus” around the time of his baptism by John the Baptist (depicted as when the spirit fell upon him as a dove from Heaven).  Likewise, Ti and Do incarnated into vehicles that had been picked and prepped for them, when those vehicles were in their 40’s.  These vehicles had been set aside for them since their birth.         The Bible says, “There is nothing new under the sun.”  The most advanced achievements of humans to date in space exploration, genetics, computer science (artificial intelligence), medicine, music, arts, entertainment, weaponry, etc. are grade-school level in comparison to what the Next Level has to offer, and there is evidence that this level of advancement had been reached by other previous civilizations on the planet.  The Next Level created this garden and everything on it.  Humans can do nothing more than “reverse engineer” what “God has wrought.”  And humans will be allowed to advance only so far.  This advancement has occurred, in particular since Ti and Do came into this atmosphere.  When we go, that Next Level presence will leave also.         Christians hope for a “personal relationship” with Jesus, but that can be accomplished only when there is a physical presence of those Representatives from the Kingdom of Heaven on the planet.  The members of this class have a personal relationship with the present incarnate Representatives, Ti and Do.  Unfortunately, outside of this class, all one has is the illusion of that relationship.  Our anger is with the space aliens and with the humans who have been their best puppets – including Paul and today’s religious leaders.  These space aliens have insulted and belittled the Next Level, their Creators, from day one when the serpent (Luciferians) convinced Adam and Eve that by eating the fruit from the forbidden “tree of life” they “would not die…but would be as gods knowing good and evil.”  Understand that these space aliens are in jail, they have been confined to this garden and its nearby space “neighborhood” because of past “crimes” against the Kingdom of God.  Some of  the space aliens are not cognizant of their misdeeds; they believe they are doing the right thing and are being helpful to humans.  Others know exactly what they are doing.  They will be recycled along with the rest of the life forms on the planet, though possibly on a different time table.  They know their death is approaching, so they are doing all they can to work against the Next Level.  The Bible says, ” a wicked and adulterous generation looks for miraculous things, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.”  We have seen that sign, because we have done it, we have been through that “hourglass” in the transition from human to the Kingdom of God.  If you had done what I have done then you would know what I know.  I have been with Ti and Do, I have been their child, I have served the Next Level through them and with them.  I am witness to who they are.  I am extremely thankful to have been given the opportunity to be a part of this classroom, and their student, a potential new member of the Evolutionary Level Above Human.                                                               May 6, 1996

                    Appendix A  –  Page 48

 

’95 STATEMENT BY AN E.T. PRESENTLY INCARNATE by Do (of Ti and Do)

December 20, 2013

(original posted to the World Wide Web) October 11, 1995 (slightly edited) January 1997

’95 STATEMENT BY AN E.T. PRESENTLY INCARNATE

1.  In the early 1970’s, two individuals (my task partner and myself)      from the Evolutionary Level Above Human (the Kingdom of Heaven)      incarnated into (moved into and took over) two human bodies that      were in their forties.  I moved into a male body, and my partner,      who is an Older Member in the Level Above Human, took a female body.      (We called these bodies “vehicles,” for they simply served as physical      vehicular tools for us to wear while on a task among humans.  They      had been tagged and set aside for our use since their birth.)

2.  We brought to Earth with us a crew of students whom we had worked      with (nurtured) on Earth in previous missions.  They were in varying      stages of metamorphic transition from membership in the human kingdom      to membership in the physical Evolutionary Level Above Human (what      your history refers to as the Kingdom of God or Kingdom of Heaven).

3.  It seems that we arrived in Earth’s atmosphere between Earth’s 1940’s      and early 1990’s.  We suspect that many of us arrived in staged      spacecraft (UFO) crashes and many of our discarded bodies (genderless,      not belonging to the human species), were retrieved by human      authorities (government and military).

4.  Other crews from the Level Above Human preceded our arrival and      “tagged” – placed a deposit “chip” – in each of the vehicles (bodies)      that we would individually incarnate into, when that instruction would      be given.  These “chips” set aside those bodies for us.

5.  We feel that while we were “out of body” between arrival and      incarnation, we were thoroughly briefed and were taken through an      extensive preview of places and events that would assist our individual      incarnation process of bringing our mind our consciousness – into the      vehicle (body) and overriding the mind of the human “plant” (or      container) that each of us was to use.  This incarnation process is      very difficult and cannot be done without the help of Older Members of      the Evolutionary Level Above Human who have not only gone through the      metamorphic transition to completion themselves, but who have also      assisted others through this transition before (acting as “midwives”      for some in the shedding of their human-creature characteristics while      preparing to be born as new creatures into the Next Evolutionary      Kingdom).

6.  The true Kingdom of God – the real physical Kingdom of Heaven – the      Evolutionary Level Above Human – are completely synonymous.  As a      genderless Kingdom, it “reproduces” or adds to its Kingdom membership      through the use of this metamorphic process.  This Next Level Kingdom      created all that is – including all the paths that lead to decay and      destruction, for the creatures it creates are created with free will –      an ever-present option to choose the direction to take at any juncture      or moment of decision.

7.  The metamorphic “birth” into the Level Above Human occurs as follows:       In any given civilization on a fertile planet such as Earth (and Earth      has had many periodic/cyclical civilizations), the Level Above Human      plants all the new life forms (including humans) for that civilization      in a neutral condition so that they have a chance to choose the      direction of their growth.  The Level Above Human – or Next Level –      directly (hands on) relates significantly to the civilization at its      beginning stage, and subsequently (with few exceptions) at approximately      2000-year intervals (48-hour intervals from a Next Level perspective)      until that civilization’s final “Age.”

8.  Each time the Next Level relates directly to any portion of that      civilization, “deposits” containing “souls” (the “seed” or “chip” with      a program of metamorphic possibilities) are placed in many human plants.       This deposit is potentially the “gift of life” into the physical and      real Evolutionary Level Above Human.  These deposits are given or made      only when members of the Level Above Human are assigned to directly       relate to (be incarnate in) the civilization.  Only these Represent-      atives can “nurture” those deposited souls with Next Level thinking,      behavior, and all the information required to effectively “fluff off”      all human/mammalian characteristics of the old creature.  (A potential      creature of the Next Level cannot cling to human ways any more than a      butterfly can cling to caterpillar ways.)  So, when a Representative      from that Kingdom is present – that “Rep’s” nurturing (teaching) is a      “window” for exiting the human kingdom for all who have been given      deposits/souls.  These deposits are made only in vehicles (bodies)      that are “old enough” – having grown or matured enough – for self-      determination or responsibility.

9.  Humans with deposits containing souls can likely be identified at this      time as some of those who are rapidly losing respect for this world or      its “system.”  They are, from the establishment’s point of view,      being irresponsible or anti-social – and will be seen by the world      as duped, crazy, a cult member, a drifter, a loner, a drop-out, a      separatist, etc.

10.  Not only is the body, in a sense, the temporary container for the      soul, but even more importantly – the soul is the housing or container      of the new creature.  The soul has its own “brain” or “hard drive”      that accumulates only information of the Next Level – mundane as well      as theoretical or philosophical.  The soul also becomes part of the new      physical body of the new creature, though it is seldom seen by human      eyes.  Therefore, when a soul is a part of a new deposit, it has very      little information and is as a very small Next Level “fetus.”  As it      develops or grows in size, it necessitates the abortion of the human      mind, which is in a container beside it.  If you think of a glass vase      that has two balloons in it, one balloon is the human mind, the other      is the Next Level mind.  When the Next Level makes a “soul deposit,”      it is like placing the second balloon in the glass vase.  So, when      metamorphosis begins, the human mind (balloon) is all but filling the      container, and the Next Level mind or soul is all but empty.  As the      Next Level mind increases – and the soul begins to grow larger –      the human-mind container or balloon decreases until, if the Next      Level mind successfully makes it to “term,” the human deflated balloon      is discarded and the Next Level balloon (with Next Level mind) is all      that fills the container, or glass vase.  That soul with its Next      Level mind has by then become a physical body in a new species (the      Level Above Human), needing only a new physical outer shell, which      it receives as a “quartermaster issue” upon physically entering the      Next Level.

The final act of metamorphosis or separation from the human kingdom is      the “disconnect” or separation from the human physical container or      body in order to be released from the human environment and enter the      “next” world or physical environment of the Next Level.  This will be      done under the supervision of Members of the Next Level in a clinical      procedure.  We will rendezvous in the “clouds” (a giant mothership)      for our briefing and journey to the Kingdom of the Literal Heavens.

11.  Metamorphosis is not ordinarily accomplishable during only one period      of visitation from the Level Above Human.  Therefore, the deposit task      at each visitation includes deposits with “programs” for returnees who      are still in “forward motion.”

12.  At the end of the Age or civilization (where we are now), it seems that      all souls that were deposited in any part of the present civilization      are brought back.  Between visitations, “faithful” souls are “put on      ice,” so to speak – in the keeping of the Level Above Human, to be      re-deposited and again incarnated during the next visitation.  So, at      this time we have both “faithful” souls who might be in the third      “trimester” of their metamorphosis preparing for the final test before      “emerging” in their new physical body belonging to the Next Level, and      we also have all those souls who have “fallen away” during this      civilization’s visitations.  Even they now have a chance at      reinstatement.

13.  The requirement is the same for all who might expect to find themselves      in the safekeeping of the Level Above Human – each must proceed in the      forsaking of all human ways, ties, addictions, thinking, gender behavior      (sexuality), and be in the forward motion of becoming this new creature      (literally and physically belonging to the Kingdom Level Above Human).       (Some in the class have chosen on their own to have their vehicles      neutered in order to sustain a more genderless and objective      consciousness.)  The overcoming process can only be accomplished in the      care, keeping, and tutorship of the present (incarnate) Representative(s)      of that Next Kingdom.

14.  Humans in any given time seem to fall in one of three categories:

i)   Humans without deposits – those who are simply “plants” )a part of           the various levels of human “plant” life) containing the mind or           program of their genetic information combined with their brain’s           interpretation of the information of their current body’s           experiences,

ii)  those with deposits/souls who are receiving nourishment from the           present Rep(s) toward metamorphic completion, and

iii) those with deposits/souls who are not in a classroom nor in a           direct relationship with the Representative(s) from the Level           Beyond Human, having:           a) not been confronted with the information and the Rep(s), or           b) been confronted but have chosen not to “pursue.”

15.  Now that we are here again, how an individual responds to us and our      information will, in fact, judge that individual as to whether he or      she will or will not have a further relationship with the Next Level.       In other words, coming in contact with this information will force a      decision for all with souls, and the stand they individually take will      judge or determine their future.  Remember, even those who have fallen      away are being given an opportunity at this time to be reconciled or      reinstated.

16.  Those with souls — who fall away — become a part of the opposition      to the Next Level.  Once, in a prior civilization, records suggest that      a third of the class fell and the strongest, and thereby leader of those      fallen, was called “Lucifer” (or Satan).  Even today they occupy the      near heavens as what humans refer to as “space aliens.”  They also      burrow in bases underground and participate in genetic manipulation      and hybridization with humans, and attempt to recruit (while remaining      among the “unseen”) those humans with souls who are unstable or weak      in their pursuit of the true Kingdom of Heaven. These “Luciferians”      (for the most part from the “unseen” world) started all religions and      masquerade as “gods” to humans.  They offer to humans (who are      unknowingly praying to them) whatever material gains they desire.      These “Luciferians” and their devotees preach “Heaven on Earth,”      “Peace among men,” and a long and healthy life in the human condition,      and are determined to take the steps to make the inhabitants of the      planet subservient to their “ideal” mammalian ethic – destructive to      the natural evolutionary processes, and abhorrent to the Kingdom Level      Above Human.  These “fallen angels” unknowingly also SERVE the Next      Level — for as the aspirants to the Level Above Human apply the      necessary effort to rise above “this world” — they gain the strength      to enter the “Next World.”

17.  Where the space aliens have a major stronghold in playing “God” is      through those humans with the most power.  The power is the strongest      among the very rich and the very righteous (their self-styled religion)      who accept that it is their (“God-given”) responsibility to maintain the      world’s stability – judged, of course, by whatever actions are necessary      to maintain and increase that power.  These powerful individuals have a      loose-knit world-wide “club” that for the most part dictates who their      primary “monopoly” players are – those leaders in the “significant” or      strong societies or cultures.  Government leaders, the very rich, and the      world’s righteous or “moral” leaders need each other to accomplish their      desired ends.  They together really determine what is “right” and “wrong”      for the populace as a whole, for they trust their overview (and needless      to say, it is motivated, for it makes the rich richer, the political more      powerful, while offering sufficient “moral consciousness” to nurture a      guiltless society).  This “morality call” translates down to every level      of society’s structure, i.e., its laws, its permissiveness, and its      intolerance.  The governments’ law enforcers see to it that nothing is      permitted to significantly threaten the rules of the “big bedfellows'”      morality – which is no morality at all, but the long list of do’s and      don’ts which protect the money flow, secure the power players, and      sustain the acceptable morality code.  Any little group that isn’t      naively, totally submissive to their social rules, or begins to see      through this “control mechanism,” or questions its rightness, is seen as      subversive, radical, anti-social, a cult, or even treasonous – or      potentially “terrorists.”

18.  It is a fact of record that a number of space alien groups or “races”      have related to humans as recently as the past few decades for various      reasons.  These ranged from “deals” of mutual benefit – trading      spacecraft technology for uninterrupted genetic experimentation – to      missions of “spiritual enlightenment.”  All of these activities are far      beneath Next Level interests or activity and are, in fact, diversionary      efforts of the space aliens to have humans look to them at a time that      our return presence was imminent.

19.  The space aliens have very successfully, through their religions,      totally confused the humans’ concept of “God” or “Deity.”      (These religions were begun as major distortions immediately      following any visitation of the Next Level.)  The Next Level      abhors religions, for they bind humans more thoroughly to the      human kingdom, using strong misinformation mixed with cosmic or      universal consciousness of Creation, about which, in truth,      they know nothing.  Some of their Christians say that God was      incarnate as Jesus – though He knew that His Father was clearly      a separate entity, even when His Father’s mind was in Him.      Luciferians now answer the Christians’ (as well as all other      religions’) prayers or requests as they promote enriching their      human lives and having them seek a “Heaven on Earth” and a type of      Second Coming that would clearly be abominable to the Next Level.      Only the Luciferians could have Christians believing that Jesus      promoted family values, becoming better humans, establishing      professional religious institutions, and looking for the Second      Coming of some flowing-robed, peace-and-love manifestation of      their artists’ conceptions.

Most religious think of a Kingdom of God, though it doesn’t      register to them that that Kingdom has many members.  They feel      that if you acknowledge “many members” in the Kingdom of God,      then you would be acknowledging a pantheism.  Any time any member      of the Next Level is assigned a task to relate to humans directly,      since he is of the Kingdom of God, he is rightfully “God” to them,      for he is the member of the Evolutionary Level Above Human      (“Kingdom of God”) who is relating to them.  This is not to say      that there is not in the Next Level a “Chief of Chiefs” or one who      is Supreme.  Luciferians have had humans spiritualize and elevate      that spiritual feeling for the word “God” so that no member of the      Next Level would want to identify as one of those members of the      Kingdom of God.  The irony is that humans pray to the masquerading      “gods” – space aliens – who have many “superior” beings in their      different races and subraces.  So, humans are unknowingly praying      to different “gods” of many “gods.”  Of course, none of these are,      in fact, “Gods” – other than self-appointed.  (They are simply      humanoid remnants from previous civilizations that are allowed to      exist as a part of the balance of positive and negative presences,      and allowing a full range of free-will options.)         The Next Level is not into rituals, or spiritual inflation of      stature, though it’s true that younger members learn to be      respectful and acknowledge the wisdom and serviceability of Older      Members in the Next Level.  Where one can fall from progressing      in the Next Level is to slip into believing that he can grow on      his own.  The only way an individual can grow in the Next Level      is to learn to be dependent on his Older Member as that source      of unlimited growth and knowledge.  So, any younger member in      good standing, forever remains totally dependent upon (and      looks to) his Older Member for all things.

20.  Since this is the close of the Age, the battle in the Heavens      with their servants on Earth will be the means of that closing      and the spading under of the plants (including the humans) of      this civilization.  “Weeds” are now getting rid of weeds – from      gang wars to nations involved in ethnic cleansing.  This is       simply a part of the natural recycling process which precedes a      restoration period of the planet in preparation for another      civilization’s beginning.

21.  If you connect with this information – if you attempt to connect      with us in your desire to leave your humanness behind and link      with the Evolutionary Level Above Human – you may encounter what      seems to be insurmountable tests.  You can imagine the “fallout”      of your separation.  You may even be faced with the possibility      of losing the body you are “wearing” in the demonstration of your      faithfulness.  We can take you through all of these trials – they      are designed to offer you strength and resolve.

22.  If you expect to go with us in our spacecrafts headed for our      “world” and the only true Kingdom Level Above Human, you will      likely have to physically engage in preparedness and readiness      for that departure.  That readiness should not be interfered with      by the servants of this world.

I find it all but impossible to present these truths to you in a way that might stand a chance to survive the avalanche of thoughts from the opposition that would do anything in their power to prevent your separation from their world and your physical life in it.  I hope that my Older Member’s mercy will give you strength. If you care to speak to me in your thoughts, I answer to “Do” (pronounced Doe).  The name itself means nothing, but I connect  with it for it was agreed upon for my usage by my Older Member “Ti” (pronounced Tee).  Ti stayed with me, setting an example and preparing me for this present responsibility until 1985, and then separated from her borrowed human container and returned to the Next Level.  (If we’re not mistaken, our entire classroom task here from 1975 until the present has only been about 30 minutes by Next Level reckoning.)    If you have grown to hate your life in this world and would lose it for the sake of the Next Level, you will find true life with us – potentially forever.  If you cling to this life —- will you not lose it?

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