Update as of 5-19-2022 – After I spoke about Carlan’s latest accusations from a week or so ago on Cathy and my livestream he has posted a bunch on his blog, pulling out all of his beefs against me and my choices and my experiences. He has some correct memories but it’s mixed with his interpretations and condemnations that he shows zero evidence of being against anything the TI and/or DO and/or graduate students said in the Heaven’s Gate Book or in the videos or audios They left behind. He is operating on his own mind, twisting whatever I’ve done and said, playing the role of judge and executioner. He calls me names like Paul of Tarsus claiming my dreams are like what Paul experienced when there is no comparison. He was so upset by my having any response to his accusations that he has refused to let me or Cathy respond to his accusations on his blog. He is hiding from the truth. I don’t have the time nor the inclination to keep on responding to his constant accusations so for all who want to believe him, go for it but I’m no longer playing this game. I played it for years and he would on rare occasion apologize but now it seems he’s beside himself with anger towards me, anger he’s been harboring and letting out repeatedly for decades that one can search my blog for the evidence of if you want to see it. Maybe some of it serves some purpose for TI and DO but it’s so filled with assumptions and innuendo and his interpretation and judgementalism and negativity that there is no value I can find to respond beyond this latest post below. He needs to make his peace with DO. He told me he left the class because he found fault with DO, if I recall and now it seems he is finding fault with everyone. Sure sometimes he is correct but he acts as if he is the authority of what DO would have us do and not do now. I’m not talking about all that DO said about the three forms of willful exit of our vehicles. I know everything he has quoted and know things he hasn’t quoted from the audio tapes about it. DO’s Mission was primarily addressed to those Souls that knew they were ready to exit with DO so DO was strong about that. But DO knew well that there were many Souls who would relate to He and TI’s teachings after He left, who would recognize him as their Older Member and that’s why he had Jwnody and Stmody primarily address them, the second and first trimester Souls whose individual task was to disseminate their information and Stand in TI and DO’s defense and be willing to maintain that Stand until they exit their vehicles accepting the consequences. It’s interesting that he and Mark and Sarah are bent on stopping me from the form of dissemination task that includes my personal experience of 19 years. That would be like a disciple of Jesus telling another disciple of Jesus they shouldn’t talk about the things they heard Jesus say, because they weren’t present to hear with their own ears. Fortunately we now have over 900 audio tapes that show many of the things I was recounting from memory being talked about by TI and/or DO and Students and even show my presence for those meetings.
We know why these attacks are coming upon those of us, like Jhnody who know there is value to our personal experience. It’s because the lower forces hate to hear us recount our personal experience. They hate to hear anything about TI and DO but if they can’t stop us from talking about TI and DO then they want us to twist the truth or attack other’s who are disseminating the truth so that would be new believers in TI and DO will be dissuaded from studying for themselves thinking if those who are supposedly believers who were with DO and/or TI can’t agree then perhaps it’s not a pursuit they should take to learn for themselves. If that happens to someone and they accept that negativity then I suppose they might fall by the wayside from growing their Minds.
Students were not Pollyanna people. We are some of the hardest heads one could imagine.
The lower forces, the Luciferian Space Alien Fallen Angel Souls and their discarnate army and thought projection operation have been hard at work for centuries to try to sabatoge those who are descended from those who were with Jesus or had some contact with Jesus’ information, today thought of as Christians, to trip them up in every which way to where many of them think they are waiting for Jesus and yet are near blind to the fact that he came back with his Father in the tasks of the Two Witnesses in Revelation 11 and other prophecy fulfillment.
So Carlan is on the war path against me and I know he won’t be the last. Mark and Sarah have tried to shut down my youtube channel. Carlan has told me I was a false prophet. He has told me I needed to be stopped. He never apologized or reversed that statement that I recall so perhaps he still feels that way. I guess he thinks I am so twisting DO’s information that he feels he needs to Stand against me to Stand for TI and DO. Isn’t it interesting that the lower forces are looking for any reason to shut down our support for TI and DO with the issue of willful exit on the top of their agenda so if I even use that term, it may stimulate the search engines to find me and so I’ve been accused by many of supporting that action while Carlan is making that option into his entire mission rather than recognize how the lower forces are using it to try to shut up talk about all that TI and DO said against that action that has three definitions, two of which were given in the document on the Heavens Gate website Our Position Against S******e that is putting DO down to think he didn’t word it that way for a very, very good reason. Carlan also faulted me for saying we had all the information we needed, at the time when Mark and Sarah had the other 700+ audio tapes exclusively while we had about 218. I felt like DO knew exactly what was happening and didn’t feel to push the other audio tapes out yet, though don’t believe it was ever his intention to restrict access to them as Mark and Sarah still attempt to do. But Carlan took my saying we had all we needed as agreeing with Mark and Sarah holding them back when I was knowing that DO would have saw to it that we had the others if he thought we needed them.
I remember asking DO many times if there was something I could do to get the other tapes and then walla, Jhnody sent over 700 more to me that Mark and Sarah had given to him for safe keeping in Venezuela but he then realized that they shouldn’t be kept in a closet so he sent them to me and I provided them to Carlan. Now Carlan is faulting me for not posting them when he and two others at least are posting them.
So below is my last ditch effort to address all over again some of Carlans latest misinformation twists. I’m wary of responding any further to him as I don’t know what he is capable of to try to stop me as he becomes consumed with anger that takes control over him so he doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know. I’ve never stimulated anything against him and at this point I hope it’s my last defense against his many accusations so others can have a chance to not fall under those angry influences negative vibrations that disguise themselves with self righteousness telling focused on telling others what they think I am doing so wrong but not looking at the evidence of such from TI and DO’s Mind.
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Carlan (aka in the class crlody) has once again vented his anger against me through a new blog post, once again sharing little of substance, by a tiny few quotes from DO he singles out that he seems to think substantiate his position that what I do with various writings and livestreams is in his opinion and judgement worthless and also includes his digging up his past beefs with me that have little to no accuracy re: what I once said about Rkkody and absolutely no relevance by saying something about what he and I experienced with someone who years ago went by the name XF. I wish I didn’t have to keep wasting time responding to him but he does have some who read his blog so how can I allow him to lie (perhaps unknowingly because I guess he forgets or exaggerates or assumes I mean things I never meant). I just hate to hear misinformation about anyone. It doesn’t really effect me any longer. Some of it once did but I’m long past that. So I simply try to provide the truth and am glad to admit when I said something inaccurately as I have nothing to lose by appearing to be right.
1) I never found fault with Rkkody. What Carlan is referring to was my question to him as to if he knew why Rkkody returned the audio tape masters to Mark and Sarah. I think I knew why and expressed that I felt Rkkody was aware that DO had assigned Mark and Sarah to the primary task of “dividing the items of value (in storage) among those who were inclined to disseminate our information” hence the audio tapes found there of which he knew he and Oscody were assigned by DO to be helpers on that storage retrieval task. How Crlody construed that to be finding fault with Rkkody is beyond me. That’s the only thing I can think of the Crlody has talked about over and over and over, over years of repitition as can be seen on my blog where I used to post his near mindless rants against me.
2) Case in point with his bringing up mindless rants over and over, in this post, he brings up XF again from things that happened in the early 2000’s claiming to remember this and that and accusing me of recently talking about some aspect of it. Go to this blog post to see what he says, but to me it’s spagetti and nothing of any value. I highly doubt I said he had an “influence” to accuse XF of a hoax. Who the hell cares about that anymore. I wonder if Crlody gets on substances and then starts to play these tapes in his head again and jumbles up things of who said what and when. What a mess and this then get’s put into a blog post.
3) Carlan quotes me as saying, “I don’t tell people what to do. I tell them what Do said to do”.
Then he says, “That was Sawyer and I don’t recall Do EVER stating that He was leaving someone behind to “tell” us what He said to do. Once again, I find very little difference between the above statement and Rio’s claim that, “I know everything worth knowing about them”.
I’ve never ever said or implied I was “left behind” by DO to tell anyone anything. It’s hard to believe he doesn’t know how many times I’ve said this clearly to him in many responses to this same accusation to him (though perhaps he never reads) and how many times I’ve said that on livestreams. I know the idea is brought up in the chat room of my livestreams, in which case I always clarify that I was not left behind but since I chose to stay behind yet still believe and want to be of service to TI and DO are, like anyone performing the dissemination task for TI and DO.
Naturally, when asked what to do now, I often talk about what DO and some Students wrote about that. I always try to site the source documents in the Heaven’s Gate Book that describe the criteria for starting and completing a metamorphosis and/or to be Saved for a future incarnation to work towards graduation (completing one’s metamorphosis) as stated in Jwnody’s document Away Team from Deep Space Surfaces Before Departure, which describes Disseminating TI and DO’s information and Standing in Their Defense as being from the Creators Kingdom that created the earth and all it’s inhabitants and maintaining that Stand until the exit of the vehicle and accepting the consquences of taking that Stand.
Maybe I’ve been too free to say things from my memory since I was present for alot, but since I’ve been relistening to a lot of audio tapes I’ve heard many of my memories prove to be accurate. I’m not over confident about that memory but nor am I making things up, though sometimes I do play out certain things they said but always say that it’s just my guess and I could be wrong but rarely if ever about something crutial to the main body of information in the Heaven’s Gate Book.
Next Carlan sums up what I’ve shown Jwnody says about who would be starting and completing a metamorphosis and who could be saved that includes the overriding task of “disseminating their information” – meaning delivering it to others by declaring:
Carlan: “Nowhere in anything that the class stated was it mentioned that an individual “needs” to stay behind to “disseminate Ti and Do’s information”.
Another example of the misinformation Carlan is putting out about me can be seen by his saying I am saying someone “needs” “to stay behind,” yet I’ve never said such a thing in any way, shape or form. Yes, I’ve told some four people who told me they were feeling ready to leave by committing suicide, that they might want to study TI and Do’s information and see if you agree with it all (as DO said to do in DO’s Final Exit video) and literally offer DO their service by disseminating he and TI’s information (as He instructed in many places to do). Each seemed to be having a rough time in life. One had been homeless and he wasn’t selling his art work so was depressed. I figured it this way, that if they were going to commit suicide why ask or tell me about it? They must have had some doubt about it and TI and DO always taught that when it comes to taking any action that can’t be reversed, “if in doubt, don’t” take that action. If anyone believes in DO then talk to DO. Ask DO with an open mind to what he might say. I know of a couple who thanked me for helping them see there was something in TI and DO’s teachings to live for. But did I tell them they NEED to not exit, absolutely not.
I’m simply talking to people now who ask what there is to do now that DO has left and Jwnody’s document beyond a shadow of a doubt lays out the complete formula for starting a metamorphosis and serving the Next Level by disseminating their information and Standing in their Defense. Once again here are the key things said by Jwnody, on DO’s behalf that show the task NOW is to “get this information out”:
Segment from: “Away Team” from Deep Space Surfaces Before Departure By Jwnody
“Every soul, that was a part of a deposit, at any time during this civilization, is back to make their choices once again. Some of these may be younger, perhaps second- or first-trimester, souls.
Although they may not even have a chance to get to know us before our departure, we do recognize them, because they “recognize the enemy.” They see through the lies and no longer want to be a part of this world. And so it is our task to give them a chance to leave this place by getting this information out.”
Notice Jwnody is talking about some who “may not even have a chance to get to know us BEFORE our departure”. Doesn’t that mean she is talking about the circumstance we are still in to where there are “younger” Souls taking over human vehicles. For those younger Souls they are being given “the chance to leave this place by getting this information out.” There is no disgrace in knowing we are younger. We will always be “younger” than others whether we recognize it or not. We who remain in human vehicles don’t even know how to judge another as younger or older really as we can be younger in some ways but older in others or we can be older and regress or younger and move forward more quickly than another who may have appeared older.
Carlan then points out in his blog post what SRRODY said in his Exit statement:
“There may be some of you who will read this and not just judge by appearance but recognize the possibility that what we have done is true just as we have expressed it. Some could even be accelerated by our exit, even as we were accelerated by Ti’s, and use this opportunity to join us. If so, we will be watching and waiting to assist for as long as we can. Good luck”.
Carlan goes on to say that “Nothing there about “needing” to stay here to “disseminate” the information.”
Carlan seems to think this is evidence that someone was meant to leave when they did but here is the problem with wanting to find justification for being right about something, we can easily skip over the meaning of words and the full context.
For example, Srrody says that their exit could accellerate our exit in the way TI’s exit accellerated them. TI left in 1985. Twelve years later they exited in 1997. DO said in many places we have on record to all that there were three types of people who could escape the recycling, the ones with Him who left with him, the ones who recognized him as their Older Member but had weaknesses to still overcome and some that never even knew him but were separating from their humanness in their own way. Their exit in 1997 certainly accellerated me to get with the program again and I have yet to know whether my exit of this human vehicle will be accellerated by Standing in TI and DO’s defense. In other words that accelleration is not being specific to when and how we exit. Are we not all going to exit these vehicles. The big question is who will we give our service to up until that exit time. It’s between giving our service to DO (and to TI) (The True GODs) or to as Jesus said, to “mammon” (human mammalian forms of wealth and satisfactions).
Then Carlan brings up GLNODY’s Exit Statement?
“The controversy surrounding Doctor Kevorkian is whether or not it is acceptable to willingly exit the vehicle due to physical pain and suffering. We feel that the mental suffering of remaining in a world where you know you do not belong is certainly as severe. The human world is a hideous hell due to all of the poor choices humans have made since the beginning of this civilization. If this is all there is with nothing to look forward to beyond this, then why choose to extend your time in this hell”?
When I was in the Classroom, to be honest I hadn’t had experience with how hellish this place really is. I mean, I saw it in some ways, like with the way humans waged war, in particular because I was faced with being drafted into the military to fight in Vietnam. I was thinking about going to Canada to escape doing so, but I got a high lottery number so there was no chance I’d be drafted. As it turned out, I did move to Canada to try to homestead there because they had socialized medicine but got deported back to the US as I didn’t immigrate there legally. However, after I left the classroom, though I could see well how upside down Christianity was from what Jesus taught, I still lacked awareness of how primitive and filled with deceitfullness many in the human kingdom can be. After DO and Crew exited their human vehicles in 1997, I saw the responses of the media and saw a whole new degree of how primitive and unaware many humans were. That began my awakening to just how corrupt the human leadership was though I had smatterings of that view before then. But it wasn’t until the events around 9/11/2001 when I began to study why and what had occurred and many events after that, that it became crystal clear that everything TI and DO had said about this world being a snake pit was true.
However, I was fully committed to give my life and even lay it down all the years of being in the classroom but I was still seeing things through a human lens. I was bent on becoming a martyr for the Next Level, for DO and TI and they would often say, “this is not a martyr trip” and I wondered if that applied to me.
So I had some growing to do. That’s why I found myself leaving by my own choice. Others left because they were full of themselves so were competing with DO. I had slipped in that regard once and DO pointed it out to me and I did see it and clamped that door to those influences shut.
So sure had I been honestly of the mind that Glnody spoke of at the time and was with my Older Member DO whom I recognized as my Older Member and still do, then I certainly would have left with them, but for me, I think I needed a lesson time outside the class. It doesn’t matter if I needed it or not, I sought to have it and don’t want to leave by my own hand and no former student or other human is going to make me feel guiltly about that continuous choice. There have been times in the last couple years where I didn’t want to be here. When I got Lymes disease and was crippled by it with pain in most all my joints that would keep me awake at night since I didn’t want to use pain pills to deal with, exiting seemed like a possible option.
Then there have been times of great emotional pain that prompted the thought of wanting to be dead. We know the Luciferians hate to see people believing in and working for TI and DO and that’s why we feel compelled to give the kind of service to TI and DO they have outlined for us following their exit. There may still be some who DO would agree would be better off in their growth to exit. To date, I’m not one of them and I don’t feel DO is holding that against me.
But it seems because some have expressed appreciation for what I do, and as a part of the areas he has to overcome, he hasn’t been able to restrain writing these ranting blog posts, yet there can be a positive to come from his doing so as each time I take a more in depth view of all DO and Crew said about the subject.
Carlan then says:
“And since Sawyer repeatedly uses STM’s paper to back up his apparent claim that anyone trying to leave as the class did is committing “human suicide” let’s again look at what STM actually said,”
Here is where Carlan has again misunderstood much of what I say over and over. I never used Stmody’s paper to equate leaving the way the class did with being “human suicide”. He’s so trying to strike out against me that he probably doesn’t even see the difference. Stmody was talking about “human suicide”. Those who left with DO had sufficiantly to TI and DO’s judgement overcome their humanness enough so that their exit wasn’t “human suicide”. They were with the present incarnate in human form Older Member DO whom they fully recognized and had proven to both TI and DO that they were ready to take that step as a part of their free will and wouldn’t be short cutting the growth they needed that dropouts still needed by their own choice to have left the classroom. DO said that even some of them would have to return to the human kingdom to finish their overcoming. So for them it seems they were graduating into a student degree of membership in the Next Level, not quite to adult membership, otherwise one wouldn’t have to return, unless they were on a task.
So what Stmody is distinguishing is between DO’s two definitions of suicide by saying in his document, Evolutionary Rights for Victims in the Heavens Gate Book, speaking about his human vehicle:
“When it is becoming a burden on me and others, and whenever my choices are so restricted that growth is impossible, or ridiculously difficult, it is part of the design to evacuate it like a tree sheds a leaf.”
But if one has a healthy vehicle, when it’s not a burden, then I guess it’s not part of the design to evacuate it.
Stmody goes on to say,
“In contrast, human suicide (identifying as the body and trying to “end it all” for the purpose of avoiding the growth pains of lessons) gets you nowhere.”
Nothing ambiguous about this at all. We need our vehicles to grow. Difficulties are lesson opportunities.
Stmody goes on to say,
“It seems clear that longevity, physical beauty, and sex appeal are all Luciferian concepts based on identifying as only the body and its desires. After all, what’s the point of extending a life that’s meaningless”?
But if one is wanting to grow and serve the Next Level by doing what they have given us to do – disseminate their information and work on our personal overcoming (metamorphosis), then this life wouldn’t be “meaningless,” but would be taking advantage of this great opportunity to have a vehicle to learn through the use of.
Carlan then says, “He is making a clear distinction here between willful exit of a human vehicle and “human suicide” but he never states that anyone who tries to willfully exit after the class is gone is by default committing human suicide.”
Again, nor have I ever said or implied that someone doesn’t have the right to willfully exit their vehicle, especially in the context of euthenasia, as Glnody and Stmody described. But willful exit when someone doesn’t want to deal with their lessons is according to Stmody “human suicide” which he said “gets you nowhere.” That would be an escape unless one’s vehicle could no longer function enough to learn lessons through using. Then DO was teaching that willful exit as in euthenasia was permitted by the Next Level. However, that too was still a choice and I’m not trying to be one’s therapist or spiritual leader or someone to second guess what DO might say to any one individual except for what he has said, so is why in general I’m against both forms of suicide, turning away from the Next Level and human suicide to escape learning valuble lessons.
Carlan then says,
“As I’ve brought up previously at least four former class members have taken that action. Did they all commit “human suicide”? I know for a fact that RKK did not commit “human suicide”. Who gets to decide if that action is “human suicide” or willful exit for the sake of the Next Level? Would that not be something that no one this planet is capable of knowing for anyone but themselves?”
It doesn’t really matter what I say about Rkkody and the other 3 who willfully exited their vehicles shortly after the 39 did. But I don’t feel that was “human suicide” as they weren’t trying to escape learning valuble lessons they needed their vehicle to learn through using.
Carlan then says:
“Perhaps Sawyer is most fearful of being accused of promoting “suicide” due to his very public stance on a “mission” that he has claimed came from Ti and Do. In other words, maybe he is most worried about some type of trouble that he could get in if someone ever took that action. And what exactly does that have to do with “disseminating Ti and Do’s information”, particularly when most of that information is already available? “
What does it matter what I think. Isn’t it only about what TI and DO and crew said that we are disseminating. This is all spagetti to have to talk about over and over and over because you insist on spreading lies and misinformation about what I’ve said or not said and what I do or don’t do that you don’t personally agree with or hate.
It appears to me you may be thinking that because the audio tapes are on your google drive that that negates anyone having the task to disseminate TI and DO’s information. Yet it’s clear from many things TI and DO demonstrated and did that it’s an ongoing task to disseminate their information and there is no being done with that task until we exit our vehicle.
Carlan then says,
“Or does it have more to do with the fact that Sawyer wants to stay in this world and he doesn’t want any interference with his self-appointed mission?”
Why is my staying in the world a negative? Why even guess about my motivation? What business is it of yours? Stay out of my business. I’m not leading anyone astray, but you are by constantly implying I am speaking against what TI and DO taught. You are acting like a bully with a cross to bear against me. So you hit and run – You post a blog post about me and then won’t let me comment on your blog? What are you afraid of or is it you are ashamed of your own actions and being called out on your own blog?
Carlan appears to acts like the dissemination task is limited to posting information. That’s one limitation he has often leveraged against me for decades, first because I tried to write a blog, then for making videos and putting posts on blogtalkradio where I talked to people on the call in lines. He didn’t want to hear about what I experienced as if experience is of no value. When TI and DO sent us out to hold meetings in 1975 we had no script. In 1994 when he joined because of, we had no script. Do never used a script so what makes you think we don’t NEED to talk to people from our Minds that hopefully are grown from digesting and applying their information to whatever degree. How can one not talk about it. Jesus did the same thing. He sent out his students three times in total, just so happens to be the way it was this time and “we” (all who choose to do the dissemination task) are in the third and last stage of that after their departure.
DO did not talk much at all about how, when, where and to whom we should disseminate their information. He left some audio footage about it, talking about having a monestary that people could visit and about doing something in India. But he led by many examples which to me means it’s up to us in our own personal connection we seek to have with him.
Carlan has told me for years what I shouldn’t be doing, directly taking the position of DO. My blog has the vast evidence of this for anyone that cares to see what I am saying is not made up.
I don’t like responding to Carlan but he keeps choosing to bring public his vendetta against me with many unfounded accusations and put downs and as he said to me, trying to stop me from doing what I do and calling me names like he has done to others. So for the sake of the truth, I have to respond each time.
Sawyer Stands for Ti & Do's Heaven's Gate 